Life...
There are some days that are great. There are some days that are complete crap. You just have to learn to outweigh the bad with the good. But lately, it's been getting harder and harder.
My depression has come back and while I'm meant to be taking the medication, to help me sleep and just relax, I'm finding myself not wanting to. I'm not wanting to get back on the cycle that I fought so hard to get off. I don't feel like "me" anymore. But then again, I don't know who me is. 2013 was meant to be a great year but I find myself nearing the end of it and I can't think of one thing that has happened that has made me go "wow".
Yes, work has been great. I got promoted to Assistant Manager. I've made some great new friends, spent time with existing friends and rekindled friendships with people from aeons ago, but I don't feel like I've changed.
I've made some relatively adult choices - I got life insurance and at the moment that's about all I feel like I've done. I've done nothing particularly noteworthy. Haven't done more of what I've wanted to do and I definitely haven't jumped out of that plane yet. The year doesn't have much left in it. Someone told me today that it's only 75 days till Christmas. Which by my calculations means that it's only about 83 days left until 2014.
I'm going to have to make some serious decisions about what I want to happen next year and I'm going to have to bite the scared bullet and just go for it.
I'm going to need reminders to do it, reminders that people are there for me no matter what, but most of all I'm going to have to remind myself that I'm strong enough to do it.
Let's see how that goes shall we?
My depression has come back and while I'm meant to be taking the medication, to help me sleep and just relax, I'm finding myself not wanting to. I'm not wanting to get back on the cycle that I fought so hard to get off. I don't feel like "me" anymore. But then again, I don't know who me is. 2013 was meant to be a great year but I find myself nearing the end of it and I can't think of one thing that has happened that has made me go "wow".
Yes, work has been great. I got promoted to Assistant Manager. I've made some great new friends, spent time with existing friends and rekindled friendships with people from aeons ago, but I don't feel like I've changed.
I've made some relatively adult choices - I got life insurance and at the moment that's about all I feel like I've done. I've done nothing particularly noteworthy. Haven't done more of what I've wanted to do and I definitely haven't jumped out of that plane yet. The year doesn't have much left in it. Someone told me today that it's only 75 days till Christmas. Which by my calculations means that it's only about 83 days left until 2014.
I'm going to have to make some serious decisions about what I want to happen next year and I'm going to have to bite the scared bullet and just go for it.
I'm going to need reminders to do it, reminders that people are there for me no matter what, but most of all I'm going to have to remind myself that I'm strong enough to do it.
Let's see how that goes shall we?