gays & private bathrooms
anonymous
August 18 2004, 20:02:48 UTC
Yeah... you, me, Jeremy... am I forgetting anyone? All three openly gay guys in our class assigned to the private bath wing is a small sample size, but since most of the rooms were community bath as I recall, it's a touch hard to swallow. Can you imagine the committee meeting for that one?
[Various figures sit around a conference table in a well-insulated backroom. The menacing, black-clad figure of RUSS closes the blinds, then turns to the assembled RAS, his ASSISTANT DIRECTOR, and carefully selected MOLES within the student body.] RUSS: So. We all know what the morals of the average gay, the average high school senior, and the average TAMSter are. Put them together and I think you can all see why we're keeping a close eye on this group. And for that we need information! Now who's gay? MOLE: Isn't it a little immoral, disgraceful, and quite possibly illegal to be keeping written records on the students' varied and horrifying perversions? RA: Yeah, the FBI takes care of the kiddie porn, can't we ignore the rest of it? MOLE: Or ask Zumwalt to monitor their net traffic some weekend. [The group imagines those logs and shudders.] RUSS: I don't think you quite understand. We have to look at actions, not just website hits, and decide who deserves the privilege of bathing in our clean, desirable community baths, and who is to be exiled into cleaning their own showers! So who're the freaks? MOLE: Well...
Re: gays & private bathroomsniftycosmicAugust 18 2004, 23:46:49 UTC
Don't forget Max, Lance, Joseph, or Annie. I was only curious about it when after a year in Josh's new wing and the whole "We never give you private bath two years in a row", Justin and I wrote on our room selection things at the end of junior year that we wanted to be in some other RA's wing, I don't remember which, only to end up in Josh's new wing again.
I was going to write a piece for Tamsters In Cages about it, but after a few interviews, I was sorta freaked out. I started off talking to Henry, and he was surprised but denied it, but when I went to talk to Roden about it (not two minutes later), Henry had already called him and warned him I was coming. His exact words were "...and I don't think you can prove it." Ominous.
[Various figures sit around a conference table in a well-insulated backroom. The menacing, black-clad figure of RUSS closes the blinds, then turns to the assembled RAS, his ASSISTANT DIRECTOR, and carefully selected MOLES within the student body.]
RUSS: So. We all know what the morals of the average gay, the average high school senior, and the average TAMSter are. Put them together and I think you can all see why we're keeping a close eye on this group. And for that we need information! Now who's gay?
MOLE: Isn't it a little immoral, disgraceful, and quite possibly illegal to be keeping written records on the students' varied and horrifying perversions?
RA: Yeah, the FBI takes care of the kiddie porn, can't we ignore the rest of it?
MOLE: Or ask Zumwalt to monitor their net traffic some weekend.
[The group imagines those logs and shudders.]
RUSS: I don't think you quite understand. We have to look at actions, not just website hits, and decide who deserves the privilege of bathing in our clean, desirable community baths, and who is to be exiled into cleaning their own showers! So who're the freaks?
MOLE: Well...
-Will Warner, '02, geocities.com/wtw0308
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I was going to write a piece for Tamsters In Cages about it, but after a few interviews, I was sorta freaked out. I started off talking to Henry, and he was surprised but denied it, but when I went to talk to Roden about it (not two minutes later), Henry had already called him and warned him I was coming. His exact words were "...and I don't think you can prove it." Ominous.
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