while others soar on the wings of talent....

[tampson]

another boring day.  i got called off of work on my WAY to work.  great.  of course, im always thrilled when i dont have to work, but eventually im going to have to start making money.  that and im just getting BORED.  and then i get stoned all night, and im going to run out of pills.  oh.  and yeah.  going to dustys fucking wedding.  my god.  i so desperately want to support him, i want everyone to support him, i just wish he wasnt being so stupid.  i so hope this works out for him, i so hope he's not getting himself stuck.  i wish he knew what to do, and i wish i knew what to tell him.  poor kid.

ugh.  i just stress thinking about it.  so what else to think about...  i wonder what josh is up to right now.  surely, he is drunk.  but i do hope he's having a good time.  just not with girls.  i miss him so fucking much.  like, sure i know i say that incessantly, but no one in the world knows how much i mean that.  how much i live for him, what it means to me just to be around him.  i dont think he knows...  im really not capable of even really expressing it to him.

i have no idea what else to do with my night.  play sims?  watch tv?  fucking amazing.  so much fun.  i can barely stand it.  i wonder if im going to have to work tomorrow...  part of me wants them to cancel me now, so i dont have to wait all day to see if i have to go to work...  part of me wants to work.  its a risky little game.  a stupid one too.  this whole place is stupid.  im stupid.  i should just let josh make all this money and accept my fate as the loser housewife...  not that im all against that.  its just hard to fathom, is all.

perhaps i'll play the sims.... anything to stay amused....