around and around
I woke up at 230 this afternoon. I fell asleep around 4 am though. I couldn't find any good reason to get out of bed. I've been off for 3 weeks now and I'm feeling restless and a bit of mopey. Sleeping passes the time well. It's very wet and cold outside so I haven't been going on my late night walks. I should probably bundle up and bite the bullet but it's so much easier to be cozy and warm inside drinking tea. I haven't decided on what I'm going to do with my winter. I'm leaning towards taking a few courses instead of getting a blah winter job.
In other news, I got a call and my Uncle has cancer. It's the same kind Peter died of. Pancreas. I just said NO out loud like I refuse to let it happen. He went to the hospital because he had really bad jaundice then they ran some tests and found a huge mass. He's starting chemo today. The type of mass he has can't be operated on. I'm not sure what stage it's at. He has around a 1% chance of survival and he doesn't take care of himself. Over weight, type 2 diabetes, smoker, drinker and bad eating habits. He just turned 50 and I think it's just way too young to exit life. I'm in a bit of a tough situation because my Mom just left for a 3 week holiday, she's devastated at the news but she knows she has to go away. She wants me to keep her updated on his condition. She was really stern with me. She knows me well. I've decided I will keep her informed but if he passes away I'm not going to tell her until she gets back. There's nothing she can do. I asked for no one to tell me about Peter when I went to Europe. It almost worked but then my sister phoned me upset. I just hope my Uncle will stay around long enough that my Mom can see him. I'm so completely overwhelmed. I'm just starting to accept and mourn Peter being gone. I'm going to try to visit my uncle soon. It's about all I can do. Ultimately people are responsible for themselves and how they live and I have to accept as a fact. I'm still at the stage where I don't think it's fair all these good people in my life are being snuffed out.
In other news, I got a call and my Uncle has cancer. It's the same kind Peter died of. Pancreas. I just said NO out loud like I refuse to let it happen. He went to the hospital because he had really bad jaundice then they ran some tests and found a huge mass. He's starting chemo today. The type of mass he has can't be operated on. I'm not sure what stage it's at. He has around a 1% chance of survival and he doesn't take care of himself. Over weight, type 2 diabetes, smoker, drinker and bad eating habits. He just turned 50 and I think it's just way too young to exit life. I'm in a bit of a tough situation because my Mom just left for a 3 week holiday, she's devastated at the news but she knows she has to go away. She wants me to keep her updated on his condition. She was really stern with me. She knows me well. I've decided I will keep her informed but if he passes away I'm not going to tell her until she gets back. There's nothing she can do. I asked for no one to tell me about Peter when I went to Europe. It almost worked but then my sister phoned me upset. I just hope my Uncle will stay around long enough that my Mom can see him. I'm so completely overwhelmed. I'm just starting to accept and mourn Peter being gone. I'm going to try to visit my uncle soon. It's about all I can do. Ultimately people are responsible for themselves and how they live and I have to accept as a fact. I'm still at the stage where I don't think it's fair all these good people in my life are being snuffed out.