catch up
well i've had a miscarriage. well at least thats what they speculated.
i'm going on a month and a half of bleeding now, and i'm scared shitless that its more. but i can't get up the nerve to go back to the doctor. i'm afraid to use tampons and i'm afraid of sex, since the last few times it's hurt for both. cramping and the bleeding increased. wtf is wrong with me!
Ok, so now that we've dealt with the whole, i lost a baby thought, we've moved on. Justin is going to a group therapy rehabilitation to help get rid of his anxiety. and i'm still working at Peace of Mind. We both just got new tats. but i'm sure anyone who reads this, already knows me and knows what they are of.
Because of the miscarriage i got terribly depressed and anxious and had to be put back on my medications, so we both have decided that it would be a good idea to wait awhile before getting pregannt again. We speculate that because i weened off of my medication cold turkey, that was probably why i lost our child. i dont' even know if it became a child or not. all i know is that i was 7 weeks. possibly more before i miscarried. that means it already had a heart beat. but since there was nothing to be seen in my uterus, and something quite small in my fallopian tube, i'm speculating that it was just a ball of hormones and it was the start of a pregnancy but without the baby. either way i'm not pregnant. *then again i haven't been back to the doctor to deteremine whether or not my numbers have gone down.
i do know that i'm weighing more than i ever have before. and i'm terribly depressed because of it.
I have gotten to the point where i realize that this is who i am now as i'm getting older, and i'm comfortable with it until that damned bow flex commerical comes on where that 50 yr old grandma comes walking around with the kick ass tight as a mofo body! then i start to think. WTF ARE YOU DOING STEPH!? lol i guess we can't all afford lipo and aboob job now can we?
in other news, I'm terribly pissed off at marcella. i tried to let it not hurt me but the statement really bothered me. infact it hurt so bad i cried. alot. She left a comment on justin's ex wife's page saying that she missed the boys and that she wishes that kris would have another child so that they can have another baby in the family. ALL RIGHT AFTER I MIS CARRIED> wtf. it was so rude and hurtful, but then again, i can't be appalled at what she said, because thats just who she is. she's a rude and mean person. selfish and doesn't think before she speaks. god i wish i wouldn't have been her best friend for a year and a half.
I'm tired, and exhausted, My mother has Mandy for the night and we did NOTHING but watch tv and fuck around on InkedNation.com. I made a profile and if you look for me i'm ZombiePinup.
there are pics of all our tats and its incredible. i photoshopped(more like edited some since i don't have photoshop) some of them and they look pretty cool. added borders and stuff.
OHO HOH
After spending 3 hours looking for a fucking purse, i ended up at Michaels and buying everything to MAKE A PURSE!!!! i'm not crazy, i know what i was getting myself into and i did it very fucking well.
bought the tote bag, new handles since the ones on the bag were awful, and sewed the new ones on, i also got some really fancey argyle black and white ribbon and sewed that on the top. then i added some paint and decorated the front with a skull and some stars, and a big ol FUCK YOU down the side. yea i'm pretty coo. i made my own fucking professional looking purse, and if i do say so myself i did pretty fucking good too. oh yea, i added a magnetic snap on closure to the top too.
BOO YA KA SHA!
HIGH FIVE! VERY NICE!
Love you all,
Stephanie
i'm going on a month and a half of bleeding now, and i'm scared shitless that its more. but i can't get up the nerve to go back to the doctor. i'm afraid to use tampons and i'm afraid of sex, since the last few times it's hurt for both. cramping and the bleeding increased. wtf is wrong with me!
Ok, so now that we've dealt with the whole, i lost a baby thought, we've moved on. Justin is going to a group therapy rehabilitation to help get rid of his anxiety. and i'm still working at Peace of Mind. We both just got new tats. but i'm sure anyone who reads this, already knows me and knows what they are of.
Because of the miscarriage i got terribly depressed and anxious and had to be put back on my medications, so we both have decided that it would be a good idea to wait awhile before getting pregannt again. We speculate that because i weened off of my medication cold turkey, that was probably why i lost our child. i dont' even know if it became a child or not. all i know is that i was 7 weeks. possibly more before i miscarried. that means it already had a heart beat. but since there was nothing to be seen in my uterus, and something quite small in my fallopian tube, i'm speculating that it was just a ball of hormones and it was the start of a pregnancy but without the baby. either way i'm not pregnant. *then again i haven't been back to the doctor to deteremine whether or not my numbers have gone down.
i do know that i'm weighing more than i ever have before. and i'm terribly depressed because of it.
I have gotten to the point where i realize that this is who i am now as i'm getting older, and i'm comfortable with it until that damned bow flex commerical comes on where that 50 yr old grandma comes walking around with the kick ass tight as a mofo body! then i start to think. WTF ARE YOU DOING STEPH!? lol i guess we can't all afford lipo and aboob job now can we?
in other news, I'm terribly pissed off at marcella. i tried to let it not hurt me but the statement really bothered me. infact it hurt so bad i cried. alot. She left a comment on justin's ex wife's page saying that she missed the boys and that she wishes that kris would have another child so that they can have another baby in the family. ALL RIGHT AFTER I MIS CARRIED> wtf. it was so rude and hurtful, but then again, i can't be appalled at what she said, because thats just who she is. she's a rude and mean person. selfish and doesn't think before she speaks. god i wish i wouldn't have been her best friend for a year and a half.
I'm tired, and exhausted, My mother has Mandy for the night and we did NOTHING but watch tv and fuck around on InkedNation.com. I made a profile and if you look for me i'm ZombiePinup.
there are pics of all our tats and its incredible. i photoshopped(more like edited some since i don't have photoshop) some of them and they look pretty cool. added borders and stuff.
OHO HOH
After spending 3 hours looking for a fucking purse, i ended up at Michaels and buying everything to MAKE A PURSE!!!! i'm not crazy, i know what i was getting myself into and i did it very fucking well.
bought the tote bag, new handles since the ones on the bag were awful, and sewed the new ones on, i also got some really fancey argyle black and white ribbon and sewed that on the top. then i added some paint and decorated the front with a skull and some stars, and a big ol FUCK YOU down the side. yea i'm pretty coo. i made my own fucking professional looking purse, and if i do say so myself i did pretty fucking good too. oh yea, i added a magnetic snap on closure to the top too.
BOO YA KA SHA!
HIGH FIVE! VERY NICE!
Love you all,
Stephanie