I Remember...
Most times I can't remember the password to get my email or to grab that loose change off the dresser before I leave the house for work. It's funny... the things that you remember and the things that you don't, you know. I come to these rooms for one reason, to remember what I don't want to become... weak.
Having this space to let go of feelings I would never let out has so much meaning to me. You see, the thing I don't remember most is being strong. I want to be and in here it allows me to be. It gives me full access to be whatever I want with no questions asked.
I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you and I can't remember now the last time I felt like that. I don't have the energy for that any more. I can't remember the last time I was asleep before midnight.
Now I don't have any particular wisdom to impart to you people, except to say this I think all of us - want to feel something that we've forgotten or turned our backs on because maybe we didn't realize how much we were leaving behind. We need to remember what used to be good. If we don't, we won't recognize it even if it hits us between the eyes.
Here as I sit and write these words I am strong and I am confidant that tomorrow I'll remember to grab that loose change off the dresser But seriously we all really know that I'll forget it, again. That is the reality.
I don't even remember what it was I was mad about now and I don't care. What I'm trying to say is, if your here reading this and you don't remember anything else that I've said, just remember this:
When a bubble's gone, you don't see it anymore with your eyes. And when an opera is over, you don't hear it anymore with your ears. But you can remember it. You can remember what bubbles look like and what operas sound like and what friends feel like. And you'll always have them with you in your memory. -Mister Rogers!
Okay... so I may sometimes forget the little mustard packages until it's took late and I so don't want to walk all the way back up front for them which means i'll have to eat my corn dog plain. And sometimes I may even forget that my friends know me and they do care and really do what me to be strong and happy. But it's nice to know that I'll always have this place for my words. Be it to make me stronger or to keep my spirits up or to just let out some much needed steam.
It's really nice to know I'll always have a place to... remember.
-LuLu wuz HeRe (well she has to be somewhere)
121107 @ 1:23 A.M.