Brought to you by St. Isadore of Seville
So the Pope is in town this week.
Seems like a good reason to talk about weird patron saints.
Somehow this came up as a topic of conversation at work yesterday. I no longer quite know how half the weird conversations at work get started anymore, and I'm certainly not taking responsibility for this one.
(An earlier conversation was about strange food items. That one started when the New Girl -we've been breaking her in for two weeks so far, but she's not broken yet- said she didn't like cheese, and one of my coworkers turned on her and asked "Are you a communist?". It went downhill from there. My contribution to the decay of discourse was that when the boss asked if any of us have ever tried rocky mountain oysters, I said that I could not imagine coming home to say "It smells like testicles in here. Is dinner ready?".)
Anyway, one coworker started a competition to find the strangest patron saints. He started out looking for the patron saint of fungus (he claims to have found a patron saint of mushrooms, but I cannot confirm). I countered with the patron saint of gravediggers (Saint Anthony the Abbot). He found a patron saint of Alcoholics. I found a patron saint of the insane (Saint Christina the Astonishing, who has the best saint name ever).
He claimed that Lazarus was the patron saint of zombies. I don't care if it's bullshit and I'm an atheist, I'm going to offer him a few prayers anyway.
I know I sound fairly mocking in this, but in reality I find something oddly comforting about the existence of weird patron saints. It's not my belief system (I was raised atheist, and when I asked Mom what the religious background of the rest of the family was, she said "Some kind of Christian. Not Catholic*. Probably some kind of Methodist.") but I like the idea that there's been at least some thought given to, say, the special needs of watchmakers or wandering musicians. I like that the idea of the endless compassion of Christ extends to there being several patron saints of murderers. It is moving and lovely that there is a patron saint against dying alone, and another for forgotten causes. I'm glad that there's supposedly someone looking out for bald people, cave scientists, and people with hangovers. If there's a saint that is particularly interested in you because you're afraid of dog bites, you can be somewhat more assured that there's at least some understanding for the varied forms of human fraility, failing, and fears.
(Did you know there's a patron saint of horned animals? It's Saint Guy of Anderlecht.)
I wonder how these decisions get made. I just picture a committee meeting with a bunch of saints sitting around a conference room, halos of the people in the front blocking the view of the guys in the back, a bunch of heavenly choir types making too much celestial background noise, and Jesus in the front of it all looking over a notepad. "Hey, we've had a lot of prayers about people worried about oversleeping lately, can anyone help with that?". So they all shuffle around a bit until, say, St. Vitas puts up a hand and says "I was boiled alive with a rooster. I could take that one."
Here's a Good List of Patron Saints by Topics. Some of my favorites:
St. Zita - patron saint of lost keys
St. Edward the Confessor - Patron Saint of difficult marriages
St. Clotilde - patron saint of disappointing children**
St. Friard - patron saint of the fear of wasps
St. Drogo - patron saint of coffee makers, gall stones, and people who are unattractive.
*I should point out that this is not because of any dislike of Catholics in particular, but more because my mother's mother was a bit of a fruitcake with a variety of weird biases, one of which anti-Catholic. She carried this to ridiculous lengths. So it really IS accurate to say that Nanna's religion was "Not Catholic".
** "Disappointing" being an adjective here, not a verb. I'm fairly sure this means she's a saint you pray to if your children are not behaving or have not grown up to be everything you expected of them (Catholic parental guilt being as much a part of the institution as communion, as far as I can tell). I doubt even the wide range of Catholic belief system includes prayers directed at, say, only ever give your kids socks for Christmas.
Seems like a good reason to talk about weird patron saints.
Somehow this came up as a topic of conversation at work yesterday. I no longer quite know how half the weird conversations at work get started anymore, and I'm certainly not taking responsibility for this one.
(An earlier conversation was about strange food items. That one started when the New Girl -we've been breaking her in for two weeks so far, but she's not broken yet- said she didn't like cheese, and one of my coworkers turned on her and asked "Are you a communist?". It went downhill from there. My contribution to the decay of discourse was that when the boss asked if any of us have ever tried rocky mountain oysters, I said that I could not imagine coming home to say "It smells like testicles in here. Is dinner ready?".)
Anyway, one coworker started a competition to find the strangest patron saints. He started out looking for the patron saint of fungus (he claims to have found a patron saint of mushrooms, but I cannot confirm). I countered with the patron saint of gravediggers (Saint Anthony the Abbot). He found a patron saint of Alcoholics. I found a patron saint of the insane (Saint Christina the Astonishing, who has the best saint name ever).
He claimed that Lazarus was the patron saint of zombies. I don't care if it's bullshit and I'm an atheist, I'm going to offer him a few prayers anyway.
I know I sound fairly mocking in this, but in reality I find something oddly comforting about the existence of weird patron saints. It's not my belief system (I was raised atheist, and when I asked Mom what the religious background of the rest of the family was, she said "Some kind of Christian. Not Catholic*. Probably some kind of Methodist.") but I like the idea that there's been at least some thought given to, say, the special needs of watchmakers or wandering musicians. I like that the idea of the endless compassion of Christ extends to there being several patron saints of murderers. It is moving and lovely that there is a patron saint against dying alone, and another for forgotten causes. I'm glad that there's supposedly someone looking out for bald people, cave scientists, and people with hangovers. If there's a saint that is particularly interested in you because you're afraid of dog bites, you can be somewhat more assured that there's at least some understanding for the varied forms of human fraility, failing, and fears.
(Did you know there's a patron saint of horned animals? It's Saint Guy of Anderlecht.)
I wonder how these decisions get made. I just picture a committee meeting with a bunch of saints sitting around a conference room, halos of the people in the front blocking the view of the guys in the back, a bunch of heavenly choir types making too much celestial background noise, and Jesus in the front of it all looking over a notepad. "Hey, we've had a lot of prayers about people worried about oversleeping lately, can anyone help with that?". So they all shuffle around a bit until, say, St. Vitas puts up a hand and says "I was boiled alive with a rooster. I could take that one."
Here's a Good List of Patron Saints by Topics. Some of my favorites:
St. Zita - patron saint of lost keys
St. Edward the Confessor - Patron Saint of difficult marriages
St. Clotilde - patron saint of disappointing children**
St. Friard - patron saint of the fear of wasps
St. Drogo - patron saint of coffee makers, gall stones, and people who are unattractive.
*I should point out that this is not because of any dislike of Catholics in particular, but more because my mother's mother was a bit of a fruitcake with a variety of weird biases, one of which anti-Catholic. She carried this to ridiculous lengths. So it really IS accurate to say that Nanna's religion was "Not Catholic".
** "Disappointing" being an adjective here, not a verb. I'm fairly sure this means she's a saint you pray to if your children are not behaving or have not grown up to be everything you expected of them (Catholic parental guilt being as much a part of the institution as communion, as far as I can tell). I doubt even the wide range of Catholic belief system includes prayers directed at, say, only ever give your kids socks for Christmas.