A statement

[tamnonlinear]

If you're hungry enough, you'll swallow almost anything. You'll swallow your own questions and you'll swallow someone else's lies

Comments

[queencallipygos]

Far from thinking you're speaking out of anger, I'm thinking that while it's good of you to want to apologize, it's also absolutely unnecessary.

But I've also been there. And that urge to apologize only went away when I forgave myself for not asking the right questions, or enough questions. Because you just can't hold yourself accountable for that. You did what you did based on the information you had at that time, and it is only now in hindsight that you're seeing "wait, I should have done these other things or seen these other things." But if you didn't have that information yet, you couldn't have done that. We cannot act on information that we do not yet have.

What you know now should not even be considered when you review your actions then. You did the best you could with the information you had available to you at that time. That is all any of us can do, and there is no reason to apologize for it.

[aedifica]

I heartily second your last paragraph, queencallipygos.

[eilonwy]

Amen.

[blergeatkitty]

I wanted you to know that something very similar happened to me about two years ago, and I remember how painful it was. I wish you all the best as you move through this and past it.

[the_gwenzilliad]

Gah. I'm sorry for your pain.

On the other hand, this is a beautiful statement.

[sihaya09]

Very well stated.

[winterknight]

Ugh. I wish someone would write a primer on relationships sometimes. *hugs* This isn't an angry post, it's honest, and I like it.

[winterknight]

I'd almost forgotten that one! Mind like a sieve, me. I'm a big fan of that site, the articles there on emotionally abusive relationships helped me get out of one.

[aedifica]

ooh! Yeah, that was also reprinted in The Ethical Slut, which is where I first saw it. It's an excellently well-thought-out list.