ack ewwwwwwww
I'm really sorry to anyone who had the misfortune of reading my last few journal entries...seriously...I mean that from the pit of my heart. I didn't even have to reread them to realize how ridiculous it is. I can't let those sort of things bother me, I have to stop dealing with things as a scared naaive child and be strong and independant.
I'm working on it :p
Yesterday was a hell day, me and stephane re-planned the meeting according to what was best for the both of us, I wanted to catch up on my st valentin for the 3rd time...so I tried making the meeting a bit earlier, but unfortunetely mr bourgeois couldn't do it, so I figured why the hell would I reschedule like that, so I just called him back and said it was fine for 5 p.m. as we planned, and figured we could either skip dinner or just do the whole shebang another time...anyways....no, stephane told me it was fine and that he had something as well. So from this point the night is looking up right? I am in the mood to FINALLY celebrate the st.v's I deserve since wednesday :p.
Things happened. Ehhh, I let my old personality take control of me, I made a crying fit for hours, poor al :( I will write him a letter apologizing this morning. It had been over a year and a half I hadn't been like that, and I thought it was finished, yet, if this happens again there is no doubt I am gonna shell out some cash for a psychologist. I hate feeling that way and doing those sort of things and it was going better for the most part.
Maybe I am just not made for couple life, my mom explained that to me last week...maybe I am just not meant to be involved with someone, looking back, the times when I was the most fun and the most pleasant werethe times when I was single in my little 2.5 appartment.
Anyhow, I know, like everyone says, YOU make your own happiness, and that's not so bad, I can see myself doing that...working on it for the moment though...
Today is work, then meeting with stephane (finally!) then hmmm...back home to do nothing for me :p
Hopefully the shift will pass by as quickly as the last 5 hour ones. 5 hours is NOTHING and why do all video stores have 5 hour shifts? :p so odd.
Have to go iron my shirt, so...here's where my psychotic rambling ENDS!!
...and I'm gone....POUF!!!
I'm working on it :p
Yesterday was a hell day, me and stephane re-planned the meeting according to what was best for the both of us, I wanted to catch up on my st valentin for the 3rd time...so I tried making the meeting a bit earlier, but unfortunetely mr bourgeois couldn't do it, so I figured why the hell would I reschedule like that, so I just called him back and said it was fine for 5 p.m. as we planned, and figured we could either skip dinner or just do the whole shebang another time...anyways....no, stephane told me it was fine and that he had something as well. So from this point the night is looking up right? I am in the mood to FINALLY celebrate the st.v's I deserve since wednesday :p.
Things happened. Ehhh, I let my old personality take control of me, I made a crying fit for hours, poor al :( I will write him a letter apologizing this morning. It had been over a year and a half I hadn't been like that, and I thought it was finished, yet, if this happens again there is no doubt I am gonna shell out some cash for a psychologist. I hate feeling that way and doing those sort of things and it was going better for the most part.
Maybe I am just not made for couple life, my mom explained that to me last week...maybe I am just not meant to be involved with someone, looking back, the times when I was the most fun and the most pleasant werethe times when I was single in my little 2.5 appartment.
Anyhow, I know, like everyone says, YOU make your own happiness, and that's not so bad, I can see myself doing that...working on it for the moment though...
Today is work, then meeting with stephane (finally!) then hmmm...back home to do nothing for me :p
Hopefully the shift will pass by as quickly as the last 5 hour ones. 5 hours is NOTHING and why do all video stores have 5 hour shifts? :p so odd.
Have to go iron my shirt, so...here's where my psychotic rambling ENDS!!
...and I'm gone....POUF!!!