When I die
I have a friend that I went to high school with and our parents have been friends probably as long as we've been alive. Her grandma died the other day. This lady was a character. She was a funny, smart assed, smokin', drinkin' old gal and she died from lung cancer. She had gotten to where they couldn't take care of her and they had to put her in a nursing home. When they were there, her daughter was walking with the nurse and Jean was on a gurney. She had never wanted to go to a nursing home, but they just couldn't avoid it any longer. She wasn't even able to talk much and sometimes was confused about who people were. She couldn't get up to go to the bathroom anymore. But she knew she was at the nursing home. She looked at her daughter, smiled big at her. The daughter smiled back. Then Jean lifted her arm and FLIPPED HER OFF. The nurse said, "Did she just do what I think she did?" The daughter replied, "She sure did. Her name's Jean. Good Luck." The next morning Jean died. Today was her funeral. It was a simple graveside service - no fancy church stuff for her. It was close friends and family. Her best friend Sidney got up to talk about Jean. She told stories of their life together. They broke down in Santa Fe one time and a hippie guy stopped to help them as they were drinking their wine on the side of the road after 3 police cars and two state troopers had passed them by. He was a musician and they ended up going to watch him play later that evening. Two years later they went to see him again and he told the crowd, "This is the Thelma and Louise from Oklahoma that I told you about." I want my funeral to be like that - I want someone telling the Thelma and Louise stories and I want people laughing through their tears. My brother in law was at the funeral today and they were talking about how I would be late to my funeral. He said he would make sure for me - he said he would make the hearse have a flat or something so I could go out in true Tammy style. So if you're at my funeral and you're waiting around for me to get there, don't leave. I'll be there. And you better have something funny to tell.