talks are good
Last day and half have been full of good talks between me and Robert. Yes, i end up crying most of the time but its not all bad.:) In fact, its mostly good. Im actually starting to be able to say what i feel instead of hiding it and yea its healthy. Its still hard for me to adjust to something healthy but im trying and he is sticking with me. and yea, its nice to have somebody i can be myself with.
He went to nocturnal on saturday and left me a really sweet message that i have listioned to over a billion times. yay. Things are good with us...I need to spend time on myself though. I want to work out a little and get some muscle so i dont get winded pushing a flatbed full of defectives back to the back of the store like i did the other day...I know im not a girly girl but yea, i want to be pretty. I have tried the make up thing and yea, i dont know how to do it. but it would be nice to learn. Robert has my back on that..even though he says im beautiful, it would be awesome to be "damn" for him. ive tired before and given up, but latley ive felt like my life is going nowhere so im gunna start trying to just do the things that im scared of. like...growing up. ive probably wrtien a post like this before but this time i actually plan on meaning it. haha yea that makes sense. today has been kinda a roller coster-emotionally. stupid period and stuff. roughi know haha.
i feel like a wanna be raver, but thats all im going say about that.
work at 8.45 tomorrow...learning how to open photo with james. cant wait for oct 7th...disneyland for my birthday.and roberts birthday. I cant believe im going to be 22 already...fuck. i need to do something with my life...i guess i just cant be a mom like i want to. I should really learn how to cook too, yea maybe ill do that and there will be some fucking food in my house besides ceral
yea.i can do it. i think...
now im just rambling because its healthy, just getting shit out of my brain. blahaha this my brain.
robert is playing the hulk on gamecube..hes being a monkey.
we might have a wasted game on thursday..i miss those a lot. the couch of happyness is missed. i miss the kim and i owe her money still. ill give her 20 because i watied so long to give it too her...i really only owe her 5.
i have to learn how to say no too...with money and me spending it on other people and stupid stuff i dont need...like the locker full of candy at work. i wish i had sweats so i could go for a run right now...its hard to run in jeans and be bloated and feel gross all at the same time.
yea i think thast enough. byebye
He went to nocturnal on saturday and left me a really sweet message that i have listioned to over a billion times. yay. Things are good with us...I need to spend time on myself though. I want to work out a little and get some muscle so i dont get winded pushing a flatbed full of defectives back to the back of the store like i did the other day...I know im not a girly girl but yea, i want to be pretty. I have tried the make up thing and yea, i dont know how to do it. but it would be nice to learn. Robert has my back on that..even though he says im beautiful, it would be awesome to be "damn" for him. ive tired before and given up, but latley ive felt like my life is going nowhere so im gunna start trying to just do the things that im scared of. like...growing up. ive probably wrtien a post like this before but this time i actually plan on meaning it. haha yea that makes sense. today has been kinda a roller coster-emotionally. stupid period and stuff. roughi know haha.
i feel like a wanna be raver, but thats all im going say about that.
work at 8.45 tomorrow...learning how to open photo with james. cant wait for oct 7th...disneyland for my birthday.and roberts birthday. I cant believe im going to be 22 already...fuck. i need to do something with my life...i guess i just cant be a mom like i want to. I should really learn how to cook too, yea maybe ill do that and there will be some fucking food in my house besides ceral
yea.i can do it. i think...
now im just rambling because its healthy, just getting shit out of my brain. blahaha this my brain.
robert is playing the hulk on gamecube..hes being a monkey.
we might have a wasted game on thursday..i miss those a lot. the couch of happyness is missed. i miss the kim and i owe her money still. ill give her 20 because i watied so long to give it too her...i really only owe her 5.
i have to learn how to say no too...with money and me spending it on other people and stupid stuff i dont need...like the locker full of candy at work. i wish i had sweats so i could go for a run right now...its hard to run in jeans and be bloated and feel gross all at the same time.
yea i think thast enough. byebye