False Alarm
Turns out I was just being paranoid. Go me.
I can't sleep, and here I am rambling in my Live Journal... what a concept. I've been thinking hard about a problem I have with myself and the fact it always comes back to haunt me. I don't want it to bite me in the ass and ruin a good thing... at first I was going to leave things as they were... but how can I work on the problem if I don't attack it head on?
The story I've got is good, and everyone's equal... there's no plot, but that can come as it goes... and I won't be in control or angry that someone isn't playing things to my 'vision.'
So I'd like to try playing in a group, where we all work together on a story... and not give up because I'm 'frustrated' or 'losing intrest'... or just flat out jealous of the others when I'm not included.
But the way the story's set up... I will be okay. It'll work out. The two things that killed us the last time... was my stupidity and trying to control every aspect of it and times to play. I just need to do two things... not think so hard about my stories and lighten up. If I can work though this, I can work though anything... lord knows I need to. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my freaking out over dumb things and my irrational jealousy getting out of hand and always bringing me back down.
Because one day, it will cost me my friends. That I, well, treasure.
Time to grow up, Kash.
I can't sleep, and here I am rambling in my Live Journal... what a concept. I've been thinking hard about a problem I have with myself and the fact it always comes back to haunt me. I don't want it to bite me in the ass and ruin a good thing... at first I was going to leave things as they were... but how can I work on the problem if I don't attack it head on?
The story I've got is good, and everyone's equal... there's no plot, but that can come as it goes... and I won't be in control or angry that someone isn't playing things to my 'vision.'
So I'd like to try playing in a group, where we all work together on a story... and not give up because I'm 'frustrated' or 'losing intrest'... or just flat out jealous of the others when I'm not included.
But the way the story's set up... I will be okay. It'll work out. The two things that killed us the last time... was my stupidity and trying to control every aspect of it and times to play. I just need to do two things... not think so hard about my stories and lighten up. If I can work though this, I can work though anything... lord knows I need to. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my freaking out over dumb things and my irrational jealousy getting out of hand and always bringing me back down.
Because one day, it will cost me my friends. That I, well, treasure.
Time to grow up, Kash.