Hello, goodbye. I'll love you forever, my friend.
Today was Matt's celebration of life and it was just that. In the chapel where we had his service, they have a spot for the family to sit alone and we could hear laughter coming from that part of the chapel from the moment they walked in until we all walked out. Matt would have enjoyed himself immensely. His family wore red in honor of his favorite color and the rest of the people there wore red or some other bright color. I wore cheetah print cause I knew he would have told me how fabulous I looked and then 20 seconds later been "Tami! I can't believe how tacky you look!!" That was my Matt.
I called the therapy place today and made an appointment to see Marty on Monday. They had one for Friday but I wasn't ready to see him this week. I need to get my thoughts in order and not walk in there and just be a big ole pile of mess. I think it's good that I realize when I need to see him and when I don't. Things have been building up and instead of dealing with them the way I should, I've been pushing them down and bottling them up. Yes, I realize this isn't healthy but it's how I've learned to deal with it.
Kevin hasn't helped through this entire thing at all. He's back to his accusing me of cheating on him. I looked at him and told him if he kept doing it I was going to go ahead and do it so at least he'd be right about something. He just stared at me like he couldn't believe I would really go through with it. I'm highly tempted and I just might take pictures to prove it as well!
I'm going to be writing more here. That's therapeuitic for me.
I called the therapy place today and made an appointment to see Marty on Monday. They had one for Friday but I wasn't ready to see him this week. I need to get my thoughts in order and not walk in there and just be a big ole pile of mess. I think it's good that I realize when I need to see him and when I don't. Things have been building up and instead of dealing with them the way I should, I've been pushing them down and bottling them up. Yes, I realize this isn't healthy but it's how I've learned to deal with it.
Kevin hasn't helped through this entire thing at all. He's back to his accusing me of cheating on him. I looked at him and told him if he kept doing it I was going to go ahead and do it so at least he'd be right about something. He just stared at me like he couldn't believe I would really go through with it. I'm highly tempted and I just might take pictures to prove it as well!
I'm going to be writing more here. That's therapeuitic for me.