I've made a decision
I want to grow up. I mean don't get me wrong. I'm grown up, but in some areas I still need to do a bit more growing. I need to learn to manage my money. I should look into money management classes. I bet there are some of those in my town. I want to get out of debt. That's a huge thing for me. I want my credit to be good. I don't want to have to worry about getting turned down for loans for school because of my credit. I know a "quick" way of doing this is to file bankruptcy, but I don't want to do that.
I don't want Kevin to think that the main reason I'm with him is because he makes more money than I do. I'm with him because I love him. I'm with him because he makes me feel like I matter to him, like I'm an important person to him. If there is to be a marriage between us, I don't want to have to worry about my credit screwing up any chances of us getting a house or a new car.
I want to lose weight. I know that I need to do that and still it's hard. I don't deny that. I would like to get down to 115, but at my height that would not be a healthy weight for me. To be quite blunt, I'd look like a crackhead. Definately don't want to look like that. Just want to look "normal" and be pretty. I want to take his breath away when he looks at me. Take it away because I'm gorgeous, not because I'm disgusting.
I want to be a better friend. I don't want to overanazlye every friendship I have. I don't want to be jealous of my friends who have kids when I don't, but I don't want to have to sit there and listen to them always fawn over their children. Yes, I realize your child is your world. I completely understand that, but when we are hanging out, it's Tami and whoever time. Not Tami and whoever and your child time. Now I'm not saying don't mention your child, but don't monopolize the conversation with how big of a poopie your kid took in the toilet. I don't always tell you about the poopies Mr. Furpants takes in his litter box. Trust me, I would win on that regard. Cat poopies are always worse than kid poopies.
I don't want to be jealous. I want to be happy for my friends who are getting married and having kids. I've done the marriage thing once and it didn't work out. I want to do it again, but so far that's not happening. When someone tells me they're having a child or getting married, I want to be able to tell them that I'm happy for them without having to fake it. I'll be honest. I've faked it several times already and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you guys. I'm jealous okay? I'm extremely envious of your lives.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to be comfortable with myself and I want to be happy. One day at a time though right?
I don't want Kevin to think that the main reason I'm with him is because he makes more money than I do. I'm with him because I love him. I'm with him because he makes me feel like I matter to him, like I'm an important person to him. If there is to be a marriage between us, I don't want to have to worry about my credit screwing up any chances of us getting a house or a new car.
I want to lose weight. I know that I need to do that and still it's hard. I don't deny that. I would like to get down to 115, but at my height that would not be a healthy weight for me. To be quite blunt, I'd look like a crackhead. Definately don't want to look like that. Just want to look "normal" and be pretty. I want to take his breath away when he looks at me. Take it away because I'm gorgeous, not because I'm disgusting.
I want to be a better friend. I don't want to overanazlye every friendship I have. I don't want to be jealous of my friends who have kids when I don't, but I don't want to have to sit there and listen to them always fawn over their children. Yes, I realize your child is your world. I completely understand that, but when we are hanging out, it's Tami and whoever time. Not Tami and whoever and your child time. Now I'm not saying don't mention your child, but don't monopolize the conversation with how big of a poopie your kid took in the toilet. I don't always tell you about the poopies Mr. Furpants takes in his litter box. Trust me, I would win on that regard. Cat poopies are always worse than kid poopies.
I don't want to be jealous. I want to be happy for my friends who are getting married and having kids. I've done the marriage thing once and it didn't work out. I want to do it again, but so far that's not happening. When someone tells me they're having a child or getting married, I want to be able to tell them that I'm happy for them without having to fake it. I'll be honest. I've faked it several times already and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you guys. I'm jealous okay? I'm extremely envious of your lives.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to be comfortable with myself and I want to be happy. One day at a time though right?