it's been a bad morning, please don't take a picture

[tambyrd]

muneraven and i have carefully not been posting about the elephant in our living room ... a crazy (literally) teenager ... no, wait, after two weeks in the mental ward, with all their testing wisdom they have determined that he's not actually crazy, "it's behavioral," but I don't really know wtf that is supposed to mean, he can't cope and does crazy things and there ain't no behavior mod out there that can make him make a good choice when he don't wanna *

(i've been swearing and slanging a lot lately, it helps some) (what helps more is muneraven's calm reminders that we've been through this before and we'll get through this one and really he is just a ranting young man who is confronting life and himself and like most 14 year olds doesn't like what he see, and he's really too wimpy to do the bad things he things about)

so ... i'm doing what we tell the boy to do when he starts feeling down ... in other words walking the damn talk ... in honor of the day, the moment (instead of dreaming about the things i can't do right now or want to do someday) ...here's my top 10 favorite things

1. good, almost-hot coffee (Americano, sugar free caramel or Cinnamon Dolce, right in the building even)
2. learning new skills (working on DITA, XSLT, and knitting at the moment)
3. discovering with new insights (is Agile development merely a logical evolution in and/or a reasonable accomodation for an increasingly ASD/ADHD world?)
4. knitting, knitting, knitting, oh i love the textures and colors and the way it all starts to fit together (tomorrow i will post a pic of my first finished sock ... if i remember ...)
5. decent TV series to watch with muneraven (LWord at the moment)
6. a gym with nice ellipticals all oiled and maintained for me so i don't have to
7. sunshine ... it's MARCH and sunny and s'posed 50 degrees today ... and my friends the birds are back, the cardinals are singing every morning when I leave for work
8. music ... i am reading Musicophilia (Oliver Sacks) at the moment and getting very motivated to finish project reclamation by picking up piano practice again
9. Chilli's salads and weight watchers snacks and hostess mini-coffee cakes and other goodies that are still 'on the diet'
10. and playing with my warcrack paper dolls

* Honestly, I believe that statement, "it's behavioral" is designed by psychiatrists to do a couple things -- confuse parents, fuck with their minds, so they are thrown offbase; make them feel guilty, so they will take the homicidal kid back; get them off the hook since they don't know how to make someone make a good choice either ... and while it grieves me, the only behavior mod that has a chance to work is the good ole tough love and zero tolerance model ... whether crazy or not, you can't live in the world if you don't choose to abide by a modicum of its rules including not biting the hand that feeds you