(no subject)
Dreams. Dead. Hopes. Lost. I am fed up. I cant cope. I admit it. I am a shitty wife. Mother. Friend. Witch. Everything. Wtf am I still alive for? I should die and let hubby find someone else. While he still can. Getting close to saying fuck it all. I cant even fight for my own daughter. So I give that up too. I give up. I just wanna fuckin die. And I bet I will too. Pretty sure I will. It doesnt matter. If I do it doesnt matter. Too tired to carry on. Without hubby I am nuthin. He chooses to trust his kids. I dont trust them. Let them prove it...but I dont think I can survive til then. Told hubby someone will die before estate settled. It is best it be me. I dont deserve to live. My lungs hurt. I am tired a lot. My memory is worse. I am scared all the time. My hubby and I fight about my oh so perfect grown step daughter. He wont hear a bad word against her ever. Ever. He backs her up that I am a crappy housewife. Hes ripped me a new one but nevwr her...even when she hangs up on him.