Sometimes
U wish for something. Sometimes the answer is not what u want to hear...oh u still can have what u want...but there is a cost. Goddess I have no idea how to please everyone. I don't think I can. Funny...I saw this, felt it long before. I hate being right sometimes. Things could b fine. But hay, why not live while we can? Why not help people, why not love, why not dream? But there is always always always a time that comes to pay the piper. And the gods do not give things for free. The train is coming and I hear it. I don't want it to stop. Why can't it pass me by! Its friggin noisy too! Grrr. In other news, my daughter is six months preggers. I get to be a grama! (Nana). Its an amazing miracle. I can hardly wait to see him...in pictures. There are good things in life too. I just hate change. I am a wuss about change. My new passion is tiny houses. Leaves room for what really matters in a small house. Mine is kinda small, but still room for stupid stuff to accumulate. I try to get rid of stuff but hubby doesn't want to. I know how hard it is to part with stuff. Feels like am protected somehow with stuff around. Just in case we might need it. But some of it reminds me of mistakes made, projects left undone, a past I really need to forget, people who can be remembered without the stuff...even tho if I get rid of things, I disrespect the people who gave the things to me? Everything has memories to me. Even junk. Also it is like armor against pain, guards sorta. Hard to explain, but collectors of things will understand. Its also a way to claim a home I know isn't really mine. I need to get rid of stuff tho. I like room to move around freely.and not run into stuff. I like tidiness even if things aren't as clean as they "should" be. Everything in its place, easier to find. Things look a tad better tho, and am grateful for that. My home is my safe place. A place I can hide from people when I need to. So nice to have that