Last night and this morning
Hate Perach parties... So many kids, annoying, pushing, shouting... Efrat and I got to the pool where they held the event at around 15:30, and left at 20:00. In between we made dough, baked pittas on a taboon (a big metal cone over a fire), got messy, smoky and smelly, shouted at kids (me), told me off (Efrat) and had a lot of... Well, it was the last party for this year, so the right word here is relieved
Efrat drove me home and picked me up again after an hour and a half, and we went to get another girl for a birthday party in the "Dive" club. It's usually a drag club but yesterday it was Ladies' night - the "Beach boys" were showing - strippers... The place was really cool, and the host was (what else) a drag-queen, funny, funny woman, who made her best to pick on some of the girls, but everyone took it in good humor (I think). The actual show was quite the same routine - the guys stood on the stage, took off some of their clothes (one was a bit more bold than the others, actually being naked under a towel, and you could see some things peaking out) and then danced around one of the girls in the audience. I was the first girl one of them danced around, and it was really awkward, but I managed to keep my giggles to a minimum at the time, and they moved on, to more courageous girls, including one of our party who was carried by all three guys and had them all rubbing against he and touching everything they could without taking off her clothes. She came off the stage looking dizzy, almost on the verge of an orgasm... The thing was, even though it was a stripping show, it was more just ladies' night - the entire club was girls and women, and when the guys weren't on stage everyone danced, and it was really fun to do that when not trying to dance for the sake of guys looking at you, at least that's how I felt. There was this one moment, when one of the guys was on his way to a girl, when the music stopped all of a sudden. I thought to myself, that it doesn't matter he takes off all his clothes, that moment left him more naked than anything he'd take off. All in all it was great fun, and I danced and drank and enjoyed, though it made me think about the whole sexual identity thing again. Efrat knows I'm bi, and sometimes I think she's trying to "Straighten me up", and I can't say anything, because she says "until you have some sort of relationship with on or the other, I don't know if you should decide you're bi". It's annoying as hell to me - yes, I have no experience, but I know how I feel, and I've felt it from a long time ago. It comes with the fact she's trying to change me, constantly, and even though it's better than it used to be, it still is very burdening. Sometimes I just don't care about other people and what they say, because I don't value their opinion, because I don't know them well enough and they don't know me, and she does, and tries to make me live up to her standards. It's just old, I hate trying to justify my actions to her, when they don't hurt her, and they signify who I am. When I do try to change my behavior it doesn't work, and I go back to my normal state, and I'm happy about it. I don't wanna be something I'm not, and yes, I'm pricky, and people who don't like it can fuck off, because the people I know and know me know I'm like that only with new people, and I ease up later... Or not, but still, it's different.
Stock-day at Arena mall, so Efrat and I went shopping (she apologized for last night). I bought a pair of nice, white pants at Castro (a huge shock, since I never find anything there that looks good on me, or even fits), a night gown, some stuff at the Super Pharm, another pair of pants (jeans)and a top at Jump. All in all, had a good day, though I didn't get the snickers I wanted from Nike, nor any pair of every-day-sandals I'm searching forever, but ah, well. Finished our trip by eating at "Cup o Joe", having 30 NIS for it because we spent more than 800 NIS at the mall today... *Innocent face*. Got back, after horrible traffic jams at Ayalon (car accident), and now... I think I'll go read, still four books left for me from Book week. Good two days...
Efrat drove me home and picked me up again after an hour and a half, and we went to get another girl for a birthday party in the "Dive" club. It's usually a drag club but yesterday it was Ladies' night - the "Beach boys" were showing - strippers... The place was really cool, and the host was (what else) a drag-queen, funny, funny woman, who made her best to pick on some of the girls, but everyone took it in good humor (I think). The actual show was quite the same routine - the guys stood on the stage, took off some of their clothes (one was a bit more bold than the others, actually being naked under a towel, and you could see some things peaking out) and then danced around one of the girls in the audience. I was the first girl one of them danced around, and it was really awkward, but I managed to keep my giggles to a minimum at the time, and they moved on, to more courageous girls, including one of our party who was carried by all three guys and had them all rubbing against he and touching everything they could without taking off her clothes. She came off the stage looking dizzy, almost on the verge of an orgasm... The thing was, even though it was a stripping show, it was more just ladies' night - the entire club was girls and women, and when the guys weren't on stage everyone danced, and it was really fun to do that when not trying to dance for the sake of guys looking at you, at least that's how I felt. There was this one moment, when one of the guys was on his way to a girl, when the music stopped all of a sudden. I thought to myself, that it doesn't matter he takes off all his clothes, that moment left him more naked than anything he'd take off. All in all it was great fun, and I danced and drank and enjoyed, though it made me think about the whole sexual identity thing again. Efrat knows I'm bi, and sometimes I think she's trying to "Straighten me up", and I can't say anything, because she says "until you have some sort of relationship with on or the other, I don't know if you should decide you're bi". It's annoying as hell to me - yes, I have no experience, but I know how I feel, and I've felt it from a long time ago. It comes with the fact she's trying to change me, constantly, and even though it's better than it used to be, it still is very burdening. Sometimes I just don't care about other people and what they say, because I don't value their opinion, because I don't know them well enough and they don't know me, and she does, and tries to make me live up to her standards. It's just old, I hate trying to justify my actions to her, when they don't hurt her, and they signify who I am. When I do try to change my behavior it doesn't work, and I go back to my normal state, and I'm happy about it. I don't wanna be something I'm not, and yes, I'm pricky, and people who don't like it can fuck off, because the people I know and know me know I'm like that only with new people, and I ease up later... Or not, but still, it's different.
Stock-day at Arena mall, so Efrat and I went shopping (she apologized for last night). I bought a pair of nice, white pants at Castro (a huge shock, since I never find anything there that looks good on me, or even fits), a night gown, some stuff at the Super Pharm, another pair of pants (jeans)and a top at Jump. All in all, had a good day, though I didn't get the snickers I wanted from Nike, nor any pair of every-day-sandals I'm searching forever, but ah, well. Finished our trip by eating at "Cup o Joe", having 30 NIS for it because we spent more than 800 NIS at the mall today... *Innocent face*. Got back, after horrible traffic jams at Ayalon (car accident), and now... I think I'll go read, still four books left for me from Book week. Good two days...