Self-check
A few days ago I was on the bus with Connor and there was an empty seat beside me. A little girl, probably six years old, sat beside me and asked about Connor, so I told her his name and age. She then said, "Does he have a Daddy?" in this longing way that told me pretty clearly that she herself did not have a dad. I said, "Yes," and she asked where
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Now, anybody who has read my journal for awhile knows I frequently identify Asian guys and girls that I see, but it's always in the context of "omfg I saw this hot Asian chick today" because I have a thing for certain kinds of Asian physical features. In that context it isn't different, for me, than saying "I saw this hot spiky-haired guy today" because spiky hair is another one of my things. By identifying them as Asian in that context I'm invoking the image of physical features rather than a stereotype, so I don't feel that's automatically racist. (Of course, if I was into Asian chicks because I believed they were submissive and/or freaky-deaky in the bedroom, that'd be racist.)
But labeling her race because I felt it was crucial to the story because of our shared cultural perception of missing daddies being a black issue? Definitely racist, no question about it.
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For example, I LOVE Mexicans. So if I were to say, "I was speaking to a Mexican woman in the store about the best kind of bread to buy" I really couldn't tell you WHY I would throw that identifier in there. Maybe to just paint a clearer picture? I don't know.
These things hurt my head. It's like the conversations about privilege. I hate them. Sometimes I just want to throw my hands up and say "It is what it is" but that seems to piss people off. :D
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