(no subject)
Uh oh. It's a beautifully blustery day. The temperatures are steadily dropping and I have no cozy clothes with me. When I packed for this "trip" in July, I certainly didn't anticipate being here long enough to need sweaters and scarves. Alas, I have been here that long. I have been here long enough to see the seasons change fruitlessly. Mm, that's not entirely true. My time here has been fruitful. Just not professionally. Which is technically why Im here. But also what I care about the least. Woops.
Ive decided to wait indefinitely on grad school. Instead I think I will try my hand at some personal projects/endeavors until I know exactly what Id want to study, so as to avoid premature and encumbering debt. In any case, if I were to do grad school at this point it would be for something like literature (probably French) or american studies or art ... which are really just hobbies. Id feel sort of foolish paying more money to read more books. The thing is, though, I think I'd like to one day be a professor. But my favorite professor didnt get his PhD until his 30s. Before that he was a dish-washer, an NPR freelancer, a hobo trying to write the great American novel. I admire that aimlessness, only because it's entirely too familiar. And I think it was those very experiences that enriched his skills as an instructor.
I wrote a short story. Im debating whether or not I want to share it since it's kinda personal and not very well-written. Maybe.
Ugh, I was just rummaging in my sister's drawers trying to find a sweater and instead came across a really vulgar... "toy." What a delightful surprise. Which makes me think -- I have so many ridiculous stories from my time here that I hope to one day chronicle. She's one of THE most boy crazy people I've ever met, which sometimes leads to major personality clashes between the two of us, particularly regarding our goals when we go out. I think, though, that it's because she had a lot of misspent youth. She didn't have too many friends and spent an unimaginable amount of time reading. Why am I writing about this ?
Im trying to decide when to go home next. It could be for my birthday/halloween, or for Barrett's dad's wedding in early Nov. which I promised I would attend, or thanksgiving. Reasonably I can only afford one trip, so I must choose wisely. I'm leaning toward the wedding, and then perhaps I'll go to NYC for October festivities. Although I do have a hankering to sit at my kitchen table and eat pumpkin pie with my mom, bake nutmeg-y things with my sister, stare out the window at all the dead leaves, smell the earthy smell of my backyard, go for a lonesome night drive down holly tree gap ...
but home is always better in my imagination. Im not sure if Im really equipped for all that familiarity.
What the hell was the point of this entry ?
Ah yes: cold weather, no sweater. :/
Ive decided to wait indefinitely on grad school. Instead I think I will try my hand at some personal projects/endeavors until I know exactly what Id want to study, so as to avoid premature and encumbering debt. In any case, if I were to do grad school at this point it would be for something like literature (probably French) or american studies or art ... which are really just hobbies. Id feel sort of foolish paying more money to read more books. The thing is, though, I think I'd like to one day be a professor. But my favorite professor didnt get his PhD until his 30s. Before that he was a dish-washer, an NPR freelancer, a hobo trying to write the great American novel. I admire that aimlessness, only because it's entirely too familiar. And I think it was those very experiences that enriched his skills as an instructor.
I wrote a short story. Im debating whether or not I want to share it since it's kinda personal and not very well-written. Maybe.
Ugh, I was just rummaging in my sister's drawers trying to find a sweater and instead came across a really vulgar... "toy." What a delightful surprise. Which makes me think -- I have so many ridiculous stories from my time here that I hope to one day chronicle. She's one of THE most boy crazy people I've ever met, which sometimes leads to major personality clashes between the two of us, particularly regarding our goals when we go out. I think, though, that it's because she had a lot of misspent youth. She didn't have too many friends and spent an unimaginable amount of time reading. Why am I writing about this ?
Im trying to decide when to go home next. It could be for my birthday/halloween, or for Barrett's dad's wedding in early Nov. which I promised I would attend, or thanksgiving. Reasonably I can only afford one trip, so I must choose wisely. I'm leaning toward the wedding, and then perhaps I'll go to NYC for October festivities. Although I do have a hankering to sit at my kitchen table and eat pumpkin pie with my mom, bake nutmeg-y things with my sister, stare out the window at all the dead leaves, smell the earthy smell of my backyard, go for a lonesome night drive down holly tree gap ...
but home is always better in my imagination. Im not sure if Im really equipped for all that familiarity.
What the hell was the point of this entry ?
Ah yes: cold weather, no sweater. :/