Abandonment...

[talynwolf]

why is it that I came to this con for my freinds and yet in a week I've spent the best part of about 5 hours with my freinds...I feel like a loose part again, the room I'm sharing is always empty, I go to doors to see if there's anyone to talk with and to just hang around and draw with and I get silence...I know my freinds are having tough times and such this year. but this is my first time out here and I've never felt more alone then I do right now,my days just seem to be aimless wandering through through the dealers room looking for folk I know, and just seeking a good conversation.. only one person has actually spent some of his time with me and I enjoyed it...and yet despite me feeling so alone I'm already planning my return trip. I heard about a rave going on I would have loved to have gone, I like spending time with the folk I care about but for the majority of the con I've been sat in the lobby or the game rooms and just idled the hours away, I thought I was lonely waiting in the airport in norway after sayh dropped me, I found something worse, being in a place that's thousands of miles from home and with noone to even talk to or just go crazy with.
I loved last night, the sushi and all was awesome and the conversation was good and I felt alot of the warmth from my freinds I've been looking for.
but today it's just not been there...I'm feeling alone more then ever now and part of me is wanting to go home more then ever while another part is wanting to stay put. I hope if I can plan things so El can come next I can get them in place.

feeling abandonned is always fun.