From the archives of the stuff I found in my room while cleaning, #2
2 issues of the 2004 class newsletter. I will now review pieces/articles from them for your reading pleasure.
Disclaimer: Things may sound negative, but it's not meant to be offensive, and is all in good, comedic, sarcastic fun now that I have perspective.
Tiger Times: Hear Us Roar, January issue 2002
Hello my favorite students,
I hope you are studying hard and getting ready for the end of first semester. I know many of you are. Keep up the good work!!!
So, who's planning to come to the Talent Show on March 2? Our class presentation in [sic] GREAT, and I hope you will all come to cheer them on. Ben is an excellent "boy", Quincy is very entertaining, Lasandra [sic] and Mary sing beautifully, Lauren is the best jester ever (guaranteed laughs), Verunda [sic] has the "mom" character perfect, and Figge is the evil character, (you gotta come to see Figge get mad!!), Chris does a pretty good job sitting on the john, Gary shows some paranoia, and Danielle saves the day. SO GREAT!!!! All of the dancers were AWESOME, and the choreographing was very original and I really liked it. (I think that was Ashley, Lisa, and Gary who pulled that off) But it took a real team effort to put it all together. GO 2004! AND GO TO THE TALENT SHOW!
Many of you can [sic] by to wish me Happy Birthday. Thank you, that made the day just that much better, and I truly enjoyed my special day! I had a great weekend and I thought about how lucky I am to be Advisor for such a great class. My birthday was also the day of homecoming, and I saw some former Tigers at Homecoming on Friday night. Diana, Raymond, and Danny I know I saw for sure, and I think I saw Daniel, too. It's great they come back to visit, I know many of you are still in touch with them. I know many of you keep in touch with others who are no longer students at our school, like Arnold, who has moved to Utah. Sometimes it happens, that people move away for one reason or another. This is often sad news, but the good news is we will probably be adding a few more students in our class at the semester.(Maybe some new "main things") Let's keep our fingers crossed. I know you will all be welcoming. Study hard for COMPS>>>>>>>>>>>>GOOD LUCK<<<<<<<<<<<<
Love, Miss Shellhamer
So, in hindsight, it turns out that the talent show thing didn't turn out so well. Who could've seen that coming, with nonsensical writing and the days of Gary "TRUST ME" Tse leading the act. But I was praised, so all is forgiven. We went on to show 'em our junior senior year by winning! Go 04! (remember, this issue predates the "sexy" chant that was used from talentshow 03 to talentshow 04, and the "04 sho" we used from after talentshow 04 on.)
It's also a refreshing look to see what Shellhamer's letters were like before her personal life came into the spotlight of our newsletters. Mentioning names from homecoming is alright, except that for the longest time, we had like a gazillion (read: five or so) Dan/Danny/Daniels in our class, so it doesn't really help to name more than one at a time. But at least we finally got closure on where Arnold ended up. He just kind of didn't show up to geography class one day, from my viewpoint. Crissman was annoyed because Arnold had assignments due that weren't turned in when he left. And I think the new students we added at the semester were Ratana and Ipsheeta...and maybe someone else, I can't remember. After senior year, the class is the class is the class, and it doesn't really matter when they entered. So, overall, a decent look back, despite multiple spelling errors, mainly on names, and the use of the phrase, in quotation marks, "main things," which I have no idea is supposed to refer to. Oh well. Also reminds us that '04 experienced every single "Shellhamer" year at whitney, since she's Verret now or something of the sort. My regards to the couple.
Roar: The Tiger Tribune, April issue 2004, Prom edition
(Incidentally, I was supposed to do the cover for this issue, but I totally missed that deadline, so they have a charming simple drawing of a boat in the water, complete with 3 smokestacks, spirally smoke, a stick figure couple, and a dolphin.)
Top Ten Reasons to go to prom...
(AKA, some subtle propaganda...)
10. It beats a Saturday night by your lonesome, watching old reruns of America's Funniest Videos...
Q: yes, but so does a Saturday night by your lonesome, watching the tv movie of the night, followed by 2ndrate sketch comedies.
9. The Matrix: Reloaded is probably sold out anyways...
Q: despite it's "rave" reviews. It didn't even spawn any good "Gaytrix" jokes.
8. What other opportunity do you have to see hot chicks in really cool dresses?
Q: At the time, none, granted. But then there was prom 2004, presented by c/o 2005. A very classy affair.
7. You can feel like a princes wearing your way cool dress...(not just for girls, we're pretty liberal around here...)
Q: you're telling me. I believe a significant portion of all candidates to ASB has worn a "way cool dress" at some point, guy OR girl.
6. You can make like Leonardo Dicaprio and pretend you're the king of the world.
Q: I guess, but I chose to make lame references to The Great Gatsby instead. Besides, we all know the king of the world is Chris Jericho, junior.
5. You have yet another opportunity to hang out with the coolest people in the world. (That's our class, just in case you didn't know...)
Q: Well, despite the Tiger-centric attitude there, the mix of people from '03 and '04 do make for good company. And I think Wilford was there too, on his 3rd out of 4th prom. He and Ashley coordinated in seafoam green.
4. You want to live out the drama that is going on with the prom whittles...
Q: Not if I've learned anything from all the stereotypes about Korean dramas 2Trick has taught me.
3. It's better than celebrating Memorial Day early by going to the cemetery.
Q: I don't think there's a tasteful way out of this one.
2. If dancing isn't your thing, not to worry, you can go fishing as we cruise around the harbor. For an added plus, attach roses and give it to your date.
Q: Well, if dancing was your thing, then you'd be out of luck, because that dance floor was crowded and hot. But I do believe cha-cha slide was played, making it all better. But fishing for anything other than the supposed beer-bottles from the neighboring ship was an impossibility.
1. Come on people, it's on a friggin' yacht. What more can you want?
Q: It was really nice at the time, but looking back on it, to quote a fun movie, "We need a bigger boat."
Q: And they weren't done, folks.
Top Four Reasons not to go to prom...
(and reasons for ignoring them)
(AKA, some more propaganda...)
4. You might fall into the water and drown...
Not to worry, our very own half fish, half-man Daniel Chen will be there to save you.
Q: Damn straight he would. Except he's all man. All IRONman, 5 years straight. IRONMAN! IRONMAN! (continue ironman chants for several minutes)
3. It's too much money...
How much does a magical night cost you? Check out Wal-mart for that one. Even with the rollback prices, I'm sure prom is cheaper.
Q: not that I'd buy some third-rate sweatshop labor created magical night from Walmart, but prom was pretty expensive. I had to start saving since September, eating very little to nothing until I got home. A nifty $200-ish was available to spend by that time, though.
2. You don't have a date...
Not to worry...you can go hang out on the yacht with future class President Casey Chan, and future class Vice President Roy chung, who also couldn't scrounge up a date...otherwise, well, I'm pretty sure your mom or dad is available...and if not, there are always cousins...and aunts and uncles...and grandmas and grandpas...the possibilities are endless.
Q: So either hang out with the Cabinet-elect or resort to the "West Virginia" solution. I think I'll pass on those and just struggle to get a date, thanks. Incidentally, my asking record was 2 rejections, 1 turnover into a yes that year. My total asking record is 2 rejections, 1 immediate yes, and 1 turnover yes, 4 girls asked total. so in the Wins-Losses-Draw format, that's 1-2-1. If you multiplied that ratio into something comparable to a season of baseball or basketball, I'd say that's not a very good team. But I had fun both times, and that's what really matters. Unlike in basketball. Lousy team.
1. Frankly, I can't think of anymore reasons why a person would not go to prom. I guess it's settled then. I expect to see all of you people there! Remember...stay away from the sharks.
Q: So, the story goes: The prom sells out. And it sells out before everyone that wanted to go could get a ticket. So all lower-priority tickets were recalled, so that underclassmen looking to figure out how prom is run, and non-whitneyites are no longer attending, and a few tickets are voluntarily returned...but 1 girl still doesn't get a ticket. And also, sadly, Lewis had a mixup, ended up not being on the list, and was unable to board.
Overall, a decent prom, but admittedly, crowded, bland food, and inferior to the very classy 2004 prom, "Una Noche". The list has mediocre comedy at best. But so do I. The list uses a lot of ellipses in the piece. I used a lot of italicization in my review. So all's fair. But that's just another tie to add to my record. Lousy team.
And yes, I realized making 2 LJ-cuts is pointless, as it brings you to the same page. But it makes me feel more organized. And now I should head to sleep. Till the next stolen article off of someone else's humor, or the next random thing I found that I want to write about...
That's the Quincetessential answer.
Disclaimer: Things may sound negative, but it's not meant to be offensive, and is all in good, comedic, sarcastic fun now that I have perspective.
Tiger Times: Hear Us Roar, January issue 2002
Hello my favorite students,
I hope you are studying hard and getting ready for the end of first semester. I know many of you are. Keep up the good work!!!
So, who's planning to come to the Talent Show on March 2? Our class presentation in [sic] GREAT, and I hope you will all come to cheer them on. Ben is an excellent "boy", Quincy is very entertaining, Lasandra [sic] and Mary sing beautifully, Lauren is the best jester ever (guaranteed laughs), Verunda [sic] has the "mom" character perfect, and Figge is the evil character, (you gotta come to see Figge get mad!!), Chris does a pretty good job sitting on the john, Gary shows some paranoia, and Danielle saves the day. SO GREAT!!!! All of the dancers were AWESOME, and the choreographing was very original and I really liked it. (I think that was Ashley, Lisa, and Gary who pulled that off) But it took a real team effort to put it all together. GO 2004! AND GO TO THE TALENT SHOW!
Many of you can [sic] by to wish me Happy Birthday. Thank you, that made the day just that much better, and I truly enjoyed my special day! I had a great weekend and I thought about how lucky I am to be Advisor for such a great class. My birthday was also the day of homecoming, and I saw some former Tigers at Homecoming on Friday night. Diana, Raymond, and Danny I know I saw for sure, and I think I saw Daniel, too. It's great they come back to visit, I know many of you are still in touch with them. I know many of you keep in touch with others who are no longer students at our school, like Arnold, who has moved to Utah. Sometimes it happens, that people move away for one reason or another. This is often sad news, but the good news is we will probably be adding a few more students in our class at the semester.(Maybe some new "main things") Let's keep our fingers crossed. I know you will all be welcoming. Study hard for COMPS>>>>>>>>>>>>GOOD LUCK<<<<<<<<<<<<
Love, Miss Shellhamer
So, in hindsight, it turns out that the talent show thing didn't turn out so well. Who could've seen that coming, with nonsensical writing and the days of Gary "TRUST ME" Tse leading the act. But I was praised, so all is forgiven. We went on to show 'em our junior senior year by winning! Go 04! (remember, this issue predates the "sexy" chant that was used from talentshow 03 to talentshow 04, and the "04 sho" we used from after talentshow 04 on.)
It's also a refreshing look to see what Shellhamer's letters were like before her personal life came into the spotlight of our newsletters. Mentioning names from homecoming is alright, except that for the longest time, we had like a gazillion (read: five or so) Dan/Danny/Daniels in our class, so it doesn't really help to name more than one at a time. But at least we finally got closure on where Arnold ended up. He just kind of didn't show up to geography class one day, from my viewpoint. Crissman was annoyed because Arnold had assignments due that weren't turned in when he left. And I think the new students we added at the semester were Ratana and Ipsheeta...and maybe someone else, I can't remember. After senior year, the class is the class is the class, and it doesn't really matter when they entered. So, overall, a decent look back, despite multiple spelling errors, mainly on names, and the use of the phrase, in quotation marks, "main things," which I have no idea is supposed to refer to. Oh well. Also reminds us that '04 experienced every single "Shellhamer" year at whitney, since she's Verret now or something of the sort. My regards to the couple.
Roar: The Tiger Tribune, April issue 2004, Prom edition
(Incidentally, I was supposed to do the cover for this issue, but I totally missed that deadline, so they have a charming simple drawing of a boat in the water, complete with 3 smokestacks, spirally smoke, a stick figure couple, and a dolphin.)
Top Ten Reasons to go to prom...
(AKA, some subtle propaganda...)
10. It beats a Saturday night by your lonesome, watching old reruns of America's Funniest Videos...
Q: yes, but so does a Saturday night by your lonesome, watching the tv movie of the night, followed by 2ndrate sketch comedies.
9. The Matrix: Reloaded is probably sold out anyways...
Q: despite it's "rave" reviews. It didn't even spawn any good "Gaytrix" jokes.
8. What other opportunity do you have to see hot chicks in really cool dresses?
Q: At the time, none, granted. But then there was prom 2004, presented by c/o 2005. A very classy affair.
7. You can feel like a princes wearing your way cool dress...(not just for girls, we're pretty liberal around here...)
Q: you're telling me. I believe a significant portion of all candidates to ASB has worn a "way cool dress" at some point, guy OR girl.
6. You can make like Leonardo Dicaprio and pretend you're the king of the world.
Q: I guess, but I chose to make lame references to The Great Gatsby instead. Besides, we all know the king of the world is Chris Jericho, junior.
5. You have yet another opportunity to hang out with the coolest people in the world. (That's our class, just in case you didn't know...)
Q: Well, despite the Tiger-centric attitude there, the mix of people from '03 and '04 do make for good company. And I think Wilford was there too, on his 3rd out of 4th prom. He and Ashley coordinated in seafoam green.
4. You want to live out the drama that is going on with the prom whittles...
Q: Not if I've learned anything from all the stereotypes about Korean dramas 2Trick has taught me.
3. It's better than celebrating Memorial Day early by going to the cemetery.
Q: I don't think there's a tasteful way out of this one.
2. If dancing isn't your thing, not to worry, you can go fishing as we cruise around the harbor. For an added plus, attach roses and give it to your date.
Q: Well, if dancing was your thing, then you'd be out of luck, because that dance floor was crowded and hot. But I do believe cha-cha slide was played, making it all better. But fishing for anything other than the supposed beer-bottles from the neighboring ship was an impossibility.
1. Come on people, it's on a friggin' yacht. What more can you want?
Q: It was really nice at the time, but looking back on it, to quote a fun movie, "We need a bigger boat."
Q: And they weren't done, folks.
Top Four Reasons not to go to prom...
(and reasons for ignoring them)
(AKA, some more propaganda...)
4. You might fall into the water and drown...
Not to worry, our very own half fish, half-man Daniel Chen will be there to save you.
Q: Damn straight he would. Except he's all man. All IRONman, 5 years straight. IRONMAN! IRONMAN! (continue ironman chants for several minutes)
3. It's too much money...
How much does a magical night cost you? Check out Wal-mart for that one. Even with the rollback prices, I'm sure prom is cheaper.
Q: not that I'd buy some third-rate sweatshop labor created magical night from Walmart, but prom was pretty expensive. I had to start saving since September, eating very little to nothing until I got home. A nifty $200-ish was available to spend by that time, though.
2. You don't have a date...
Not to worry...you can go hang out on the yacht with future class President Casey Chan, and future class Vice President Roy chung, who also couldn't scrounge up a date...otherwise, well, I'm pretty sure your mom or dad is available...and if not, there are always cousins...and aunts and uncles...and grandmas and grandpas...the possibilities are endless.
Q: So either hang out with the Cabinet-elect or resort to the "West Virginia" solution. I think I'll pass on those and just struggle to get a date, thanks. Incidentally, my asking record was 2 rejections, 1 turnover into a yes that year. My total asking record is 2 rejections, 1 immediate yes, and 1 turnover yes, 4 girls asked total. so in the Wins-Losses-Draw format, that's 1-2-1. If you multiplied that ratio into something comparable to a season of baseball or basketball, I'd say that's not a very good team. But I had fun both times, and that's what really matters. Unlike in basketball. Lousy team.
1. Frankly, I can't think of anymore reasons why a person would not go to prom. I guess it's settled then. I expect to see all of you people there! Remember...stay away from the sharks.
Q: So, the story goes: The prom sells out. And it sells out before everyone that wanted to go could get a ticket. So all lower-priority tickets were recalled, so that underclassmen looking to figure out how prom is run, and non-whitneyites are no longer attending, and a few tickets are voluntarily returned...but 1 girl still doesn't get a ticket. And also, sadly, Lewis had a mixup, ended up not being on the list, and was unable to board.
Overall, a decent prom, but admittedly, crowded, bland food, and inferior to the very classy 2004 prom, "Una Noche". The list has mediocre comedy at best. But so do I. The list uses a lot of ellipses in the piece. I used a lot of italicization in my review. So all's fair. But that's just another tie to add to my record. Lousy team.
And yes, I realized making 2 LJ-cuts is pointless, as it brings you to the same page. But it makes me feel more organized. And now I should head to sleep. Till the next stolen article off of someone else's humor, or the next random thing I found that I want to write about...
That's the Quincetessential answer.