(no subject)
I have probably had the worst month ever. Nothing is going right, nothing. But something hit me the other night, and not that it is anyone's fault that my life completely sucks butt hole, but I've realized, and yea, I'll admit it right here in this stupid ass journal that no one ever reads...I have no friends. None.
You graduate highschool thinking there are better things to come, yea, those things come if you actually LEAVE. For God's sake, don't fall in love either if you're planning on leaving. But the whole summer I spent most of my days stressing the fact that my best friend may have not been a friend at all. So that may have been true, but I was right, she wasn't my best friend...she had become my sister. Now she's gone. I never thought in a million years that I would miss her when our time was up as teenagers, when it was time to leave and move on, and I know it sounds a little crucial, but that was just the way it was.
but now she's gone.
I've spent my last month crying, shouting and fighting with the one person I love most in this world about how I don't have that FRIEND that every fucking person in this world has, HE'S not even that person, because she left me without saying good bye, she's no where to be found, and I'm so angry, I'm just so MAD.
Melissa was my 4th grade rebel friend, and where we were opposite with everything in ourselves, there was just that one connection that kept us sisters for 10 years straight. I've lost a big piece of me, and seriously, I've LOST it and it cannot be found.
All this time I thought it was the first guy to tear my heart apart that left me lonely, but I was never lonely then...I am now.
Like they said, boys come and go..but friends are forever.