Long time no post
So its been quite a while since I posted publicly on here. Now this site seems a bit more anonymous with facebook/myspace etc...taking off. Over the last two years I have really been struggling with Depression. I had kind of a crash and went to a hospital wed/thur this week. I feel the need to kinda put this stuff down and if anyone sees it and wants to read or comment im cool with that. I had bleached and than dyed a small lock of hair bright red over the last 2 and half years or so...I called it my "power-stripe" as kind of a joke from when republicans all started wearing Bright-red ties. It started as kind of an experiment but also forced me from being a wall flower, when you have a lock of vibrant red hair people do not forget or not notice you. Anyway just kinda a foreword to explain a few obscure things and some history. Listed is a conversation I had with a friend on AIM...names changed to protect the sane.
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TALROG X: heyo
BestFriend01: hello
TALROG X: yea I was confuzed
BestFriend01: yeah I've got a little fever so everything is a little off today
TALROG X: have u been to the heavy petting zoo to see the swine recently?
BestFriend01: not recently, but one of mywife's campers this week was diagnosed with it so, believe it or not, I may actually have it
TALROG X: hmmmm...
BestFriend01: All I've got is a very low fever and aches and pains from that. it was 99.1 last night and 98.6 this morning so it cant be that bad
TALROG X: have you engaged with 4 or more adult feral swine in a glorious battle of mortal combat man against beast cutting down foe again and again and than wearing the boar's skins and making weapons of their bones in teeth to show your power
TALROG X: ?
BestFriend01: does on the Xbox count?
BestFriend01: 'cause they are everywhere in Sacred
TALROG X: no I do not believe swine flu is electronically transmittable at this current date
BestFriend01: it hasn’t jumped the swine/human/computer barrier yet then, that’s good
TALROG X: have you covered your naked human form in raw swine flesh in an attempt to gather the feral dogs and cats of your area up and lead them away into a river or perhaps a mountain that parts, revealing a secret cave
BestFriend01: not that I'm aware of, but I may have done it while sleeping
TALROG X: hmmmmm
BestFriend01: I did have sex with a pig though, does that count?
TALROG X: I'm stumped my degree in cryptomeditheocine is stumped
TALROG X: DOH... fergot to ask the 1st one .....ding ding, u gots da flu!!!!
BestFriend01: I gots the hini
BestFriend01: I'm gonna try and make that the cool new name for it
TALROG X: does it ryme w your but "hindy"/"hyney" or hi nigh
BestFriend01: hindy
TALROG X: race isues
BestFriend01: or mini
TALROG X: go with high-nigh
BestFriend01: nah too high brow
TALROG X: hin1
TALROG X: or h1ni
BestFriend01: I figiured H1N1, hini
TALROG X: honenone
TALROG X: honeni
TALROG X: I like high nigh more poetic
BestFriend01: nah, hini sounds like the street name
TALROG X: it does
BestFriend01: you cant say, "I gots me the highNigh"
BestFriend01: It sounds better "I gots da hini"
TALROG X:Woe..thine swine have dealt me a death blow for sooth, aye be afflicted with the pestilence of high-nigh, worms meat of me am aye made...darkness curtain closes
BestFriend01: aaaaaaanddd ..... Scene
TALROG X: yes
TALROG X: OMG
TALROG X: one of the robot chickens did wrath of khan as an opera
TALROG X: it was amazing, it was sad w spocks death the battles It was like a real classic opera just u know goofy sci trek I tght it was beutiful
BestFriend01: that’s funny
TALROG X: Emmy worthy
BestFriend01: did you see this? http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/bcdc/
TALROG X: it was but the last scene w a goofy spock doll and mcoy doll them singing in Italian w English subtitles and it still conjured those tghts of when I was a kid and cried at that scene
BestFriend01: I'll have to see if I can get it
TALROG X: that is soo cool yet to geeky for me to get
BestFriend01: I told Mywife to get it for me for our anniversary
TALROG X: man, I gotta a hankering to listen to all my They might b giants stuff. I get them, like the songs really make sense to me, which I think just proves its for crazy people
BestFriend01: specially since Mywife loves them too
TALROG X: yea her ADD and cluttered synapses gleaning the messages like I do
TALROG X: most peeps I know are like WTF when they here them but to me every line makes sense in some way...
BestFriend01: some of them are obscure references though, I don’t always get them, but it gives Mywife and I something to talk about
TALROG X: some of them are simple and like a history or science report made into a song, but I’m listening to ana ng and the lyrics and don’t don’t don’t lets start the 1st time I heard them and fell in love
BestFriend01: that was back when I was in college
TALROG X: they are so weird obscure references, non sequitor if just kinda read but in the end all make since to me
TALROG X: yea back when mtv played music
TALROG X: I saw that video w was awful and fell in love ,I’m weird w music I didnt get into it until 16-18ish that and bethovens 9th from clocwerk orange were my 1st loved songs that touched the soul or some inner place in ones self
TALROG X: w Roki it was buffet parrot muzak
BestFriend01: how poetic, I was never really into music, I liked it, but not to the extreme a lot of people are
TALROG X: Sparty gay leather metal
TALROG X: Nigel Hendrix, some iron maiden and queen
TALROG X: funny u being in choir and all
BestFriend01: yeah
TALROG X: I couldn’t c taking art and not having it touch my heart like it does/did
TALROG X: I nvr would have taken choir cuz I didnt really like music till after HS
BestFriend01: I dunno, I like just about everything, but nothing really stands out, I went through my 80s metal band phase, then billy joel, and so forth, but I never really was crazy about it
TALROG X: I think Bestfriend01
TALROG X: please don’t take offense
TALROG X: your are a highly intelligent and developed breed of the average sheeple. As Bestfriend4 would put it...u got fewer merits and flaw points than Sparty or Slappy, and I’m Mr. min max, true mad genius, excel at so much but always caught in some withering strife
BestFriend01: could be, if I knew what a sheeple was
BestFriend01: is that like sheep people, 'cause that could explain the swine flu
TALROG X: stand up and look 360º in the main part of your building
BestFriend01: ahh those guys
TALROG X: mundies. average joe's, c+'ers. Nigel is a C guy w a developed wit and imagination , ability to dream and see things, his quixotic quests for a store, his art...
BestFriend01: yeah they ARE sheeple
TALROG X: I know
BestFriend01: I just have no real ambition or drive, I like being comfortable, it makes it bad for job prospects, but I always do well at whatever I try
BestFriend01: except art
BestFriend01: apparently I’m not broken or tortured enough for that
TALROG X: they are the ones that when a guy pulls a gun and starts killing they go into tharn, freeze suddenly the unimaginable in front of them doesn’t compute...tharn.
BestFriend01: lol
TALROG X: like Roki says, Roki says merits and flaws...he really sees that
BestFriend01: he may have something there
TALROG X: I kinda agree, hard things build character and so forth and way crazy hard stuff can, but can break u too
TALROG X: I’m 35 and feel like a broken plate glass window trying to stretch back together while cars keep driving over me
TALROG X: and that looks to me like a crazy person quote
BestFriend01: yes, yes it does
BestFriend01: but very creative
TALROG X: mad genius
TALROG X: I say it w no pride
TALROG X: in all my tests I have been a genius, and the new emotional iq which is more of the art creative side I score even higher, sort of a savant in some areas
TALROG X: but where has it gotten me
TALROG X: I struggle w daily life
TALROG X: everything is harder for me most of the time
TALROG X: I see concepts for high tech devices/art concepts/stories/lyrics/ but rarely put them down for others
BestFriend01: you really need to get some kinda degree and get a scientific job where at least the company you work for could benefit from your weird ideas
BestFriend01: NS: This is an awesome quote "Every contingency plan should allow for zombies."
TALROG X: I got my hair cut short got rid of the stripe, saved it have an idea for an art piece, “Hair today, Heir tomorrow” about the last 2 years of my life and where that would correspond to points on my stripe, and how this art contains my genetic material and is in a way an heir potentially w cloning, w some comments on the possible future
BestFriend01: interesting so its like a art project/mad scientist back up plan
TALROG X: yes NS: Indeed I almost packed my anti zombie stuff when I went to the hospital but I was like that’s REALLY crazy...sure if terrorists or natural disaster strike and I MacGyver my way around saving and helping people w my flashlight and tools....still seemed to kooky. but c its what I wanted to do but my cognitive side analyzed it and goes kooky, weighed the odds and stopped my heart/gut
TALROG X: lol
BestFriend01: NS: that’s probably for the best and at least you have those governors. A lot of people there probably didnt
TALROG X: an army of clones for the future and the whole tortured artist thing at the same time
TALROG X: NS: I know, they don’t
TALROG X: I think its a neat concept piece but I have concept pieces from the 90s and early 00s that I never made or started but never finished
TALROG X: Salvador Dali was batty as hell and didnt let that stop him I wish I had that resolve
TALROG X: SOrry to lay all this on you man, not trying to freek u. Don’t want you stuck in tharn at your desk
BestFriend01: huh?! What?! Whats going on? Sorry I froze up for sec there
TALROG X: u know Roki’s brother Rockbottom
BestFriend01: nah its not a problem. I just keep hoping that your slowly getting better. It seemed that way to me, but I don’t talk to you much any more and now its usually, "yeah I was in the hospital yesterday" whenever I do so I’m not sure
BestFriend01: I know OF him, Ive never met him
TALROG X: he is bi polar and came over in his manic stage, he was having true psychotic thoughts, that he was like a super spy stealing cars and government people everywhere watching him helping him...Sparty was a lil freaked didnt get it but I could feel the madness it was palpable, I called Roki and he checked and Slappy eventual got arrested for "unlawful possession" of a vehicle...etc
BestFriend01: oh wait, somehow I saw that backwards and ive never met Slappys brother
TALROG X: 1st sign of Tharn
TALROG X: focus on calm field filled with other office werkers calmly eating lunch and grooming them selves as the sun rises
BestFriend01: go to my happy place
BestFriend01: ha ha happy place
TALROG X: yur sheeple hole
BestFriend01: ewwwwww
TALROG X: lol
TALROG X: I really feel like a madman trying to wear a sheeple costume, trying to think what would they do and follow instead of going my way. When I’m in a room I analyze in/egress points lighting furniture appliances potential weapons/ tools...etc.
BestFriend01: I rememebr your story from the airport about figuring how you could kill the wacko guy with a pencil , if u had to
TALROG X: or my plan when I was in the hospital about dealing with the man mountain, I had 5 yogurts freezing and a pillow case ready to take him down
TALROG X: in case things got bad
TALROG X: 1 nurse had a broken arm from last patient who had flipped
BestFriend01: yea
TALROG X: I saw myself as a defender of those around me, they were weaker caught up in their illnesses and I would have to rise above mine to defend them and maybe the staff
BestFriend01: I bet you were a breath of fresh air there, at least you were trying to help people
TALROG X: yea the staff loved me and I got so much special treatment, one chick ( cute effedup-chick probly got into psycke cuz of her own issues) got so comfortable w me she gave me the lighter for smoke breaks and forgot to get it back until I gave it to her next break...that’s like a major fire-able offense
JSchwab02: she probably forgot you were a patient
TALROG X: yea, bad for her if I was a badguy, or someone else got it from me, regardless massive no no
TALROG X: I had such potential to be a really dark force, I am so glad I found Christ and my heart was changed. I think of all the things I did before and how the trend could have gone.