Something to ponder.
I'm ready for a change. I NEED a change. I don't think I'm ready to devote the time and energy needed into this, at least not until school is over. Come September, unless I change my mind again (as I frequently do), I think it's time to go through my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and everything that is a part of me, and re-evaluate it all. I've gained a lot of experience, and knowledge, and I like to think I've grown up over this past year and a half, so now it's time to apply all of what I've learned and try to change my core for the better.
It's a struggle looking back at everything I've posted; I'm tired of sounding like an immature, brooding teenager. It's been a real struggle for me to overcome this and become what people consider 'mature'. I'm not sure why it's such a hard thing for me to do. On the flip side, I'm afraid of losing the unique perspective I have on the world. I'm afraid that if I do indeed 'grow up', my inspiration and imagination will be quelled. I'm scared that I won't be able to create things like I used to; the 'adult' way of thinking limits you in ways that stifle your creativity.
Whatever I choose, I have to do something. Right now, my mental state is just not what it should be. I know I have the potential to be MUCH better than this, and I need to stop and figure out what's making me fall so short of my goals.
It's a struggle looking back at everything I've posted; I'm tired of sounding like an immature, brooding teenager. It's been a real struggle for me to overcome this and become what people consider 'mature'. I'm not sure why it's such a hard thing for me to do. On the flip side, I'm afraid of losing the unique perspective I have on the world. I'm afraid that if I do indeed 'grow up', my inspiration and imagination will be quelled. I'm scared that I won't be able to create things like I used to; the 'adult' way of thinking limits you in ways that stifle your creativity.
Whatever I choose, I have to do something. Right now, my mental state is just not what it should be. I know I have the potential to be MUCH better than this, and I need to stop and figure out what's making me fall so short of my goals.