3 Facts of Life
Last few weeks have been pretty.... well, not good any way. Still sleeping like crap... No nightmares, I think, but sleeping terribly. Been feeling trapped.... antsy. Not good combinations..... Still, this couples with other experiences, and a constant, non-stop chaotic mental noise.... I've concluded a couple facts of life.... Well my life anyway....
The first being.... life really is a game. a combination of such..... A game I think I've played far to long, past any meaning it once had for me..... But that's not the point I'm going for... No, There is one aspect of the game That on rare occasions I do enjoy, but typically don't. especially the to and from work. that's the first person driving portion.
I have found that there are spawn points along my path.... That these are mobile spawn points. these points are roughly around any highway entrance and exit points.... That even at 5am when no other car is on the road with me, these points activate when I get near.... At this point I figure I must have to roll some cosmic saving throw.... Possibly two. The first to see how badly I fail said throw, and the second to compound said failure.... Regardless, the basic failure has 1D3 Semi trucks spawn to block my path onto, or off of, any given highway or freeway. The second roll is to determine any other possible obstacles to spawn into the mix.....
On the rare occasions upon which I manage to roll a double 20 or 1, depending on which set of rules are being used on any given day.... That being the root cause of this particular problem, As I have no idea day to day which rules are being played, and make said saving throw.... I am rewarded with only a few cars, possibly not even in my way, and I'm sure some few skill points.... which i seem to place primarily into my delusion skill...... Alas......
The second thing...... Kids. And I believe this is only to do with girl children... Not just because they are mentally inferi.... ummm challan..... They're girls..... But because I have no male children in which to test this theory on, only dangly lacking ones.
Let me just say, I do encourage my girls to ask questions... You'll never learn anything if you never ask anything..... however as girls are prone to do..... there are times they begin to talk..... and talk incessantly..... you know... They talk a lot and say nothing.....
Well, on the last such occasion, I tried to curb their talking, get them to try to stay quite, if only for a short time.... I explained to them that every time a girl talks an angel dies..... this I found had the exact and quite drastic opposite effect.... As it seems they became quite agitated, and began to talk more, explaining how they weren't trying to kill angels.... I tried to tell them they were killing more as they kept talking....
And though I found this very funny, The resulting angel genocide, seemed on the verge of breaking their already tattered calm..... So I had to let them off the hook and tell them the truth..... Angles breed like bunnies.... And if girls talking, didn't cull them.... Well then soon they would over populate, either dying or damaging themselves, and bodies would be falling out of the sky, causing untold amounts of damage and deaths.... So not to worry, her talking was a good thing.....
The third and final..... Stems from my...... I dunno, need..... habit, or just plain predilection..... of doing something I know in the end will cause me pain. The problem is, when the opportunity presents itself, I know the truth, the end result.... yet with full knowledge, and eyes wide open, I walk right the fuck into it....
I equate it to being like fire. You look at a fire, it's warm, beautiful, it's alive. When you look into it, you can see... more. visions, dreams, a hunger. It's inviting...... dangerous, yes. Yet ultimately good, alive.
And though I've been burned before, badly..... When it presents itself, I still reach out, knowing the truth..... But hoping this time will be different. And again, the flesh is seared from my hand, leaving me a charred, bloody mass of pain....
And I can't help but figure, it's all I deserve... I know the truth, yet still try..... FUCK.
The first being.... life really is a game. a combination of such..... A game I think I've played far to long, past any meaning it once had for me..... But that's not the point I'm going for... No, There is one aspect of the game That on rare occasions I do enjoy, but typically don't. especially the to and from work. that's the first person driving portion.
I have found that there are spawn points along my path.... That these are mobile spawn points. these points are roughly around any highway entrance and exit points.... That even at 5am when no other car is on the road with me, these points activate when I get near.... At this point I figure I must have to roll some cosmic saving throw.... Possibly two. The first to see how badly I fail said throw, and the second to compound said failure.... Regardless, the basic failure has 1D3 Semi trucks spawn to block my path onto, or off of, any given highway or freeway. The second roll is to determine any other possible obstacles to spawn into the mix.....
On the rare occasions upon which I manage to roll a double 20 or 1, depending on which set of rules are being used on any given day.... That being the root cause of this particular problem, As I have no idea day to day which rules are being played, and make said saving throw.... I am rewarded with only a few cars, possibly not even in my way, and I'm sure some few skill points.... which i seem to place primarily into my delusion skill...... Alas......
The second thing...... Kids. And I believe this is only to do with girl children... Not just because they are mentally inferi.... ummm challan..... They're girls..... But because I have no male children in which to test this theory on, only dangly lacking ones.
Let me just say, I do encourage my girls to ask questions... You'll never learn anything if you never ask anything..... however as girls are prone to do..... there are times they begin to talk..... and talk incessantly..... you know... They talk a lot and say nothing.....
Well, on the last such occasion, I tried to curb their talking, get them to try to stay quite, if only for a short time.... I explained to them that every time a girl talks an angel dies..... this I found had the exact and quite drastic opposite effect.... As it seems they became quite agitated, and began to talk more, explaining how they weren't trying to kill angels.... I tried to tell them they were killing more as they kept talking....
And though I found this very funny, The resulting angel genocide, seemed on the verge of breaking their already tattered calm..... So I had to let them off the hook and tell them the truth..... Angles breed like bunnies.... And if girls talking, didn't cull them.... Well then soon they would over populate, either dying or damaging themselves, and bodies would be falling out of the sky, causing untold amounts of damage and deaths.... So not to worry, her talking was a good thing.....
The third and final..... Stems from my...... I dunno, need..... habit, or just plain predilection..... of doing something I know in the end will cause me pain. The problem is, when the opportunity presents itself, I know the truth, the end result.... yet with full knowledge, and eyes wide open, I walk right the fuck into it....
I equate it to being like fire. You look at a fire, it's warm, beautiful, it's alive. When you look into it, you can see... more. visions, dreams, a hunger. It's inviting...... dangerous, yes. Yet ultimately good, alive.
And though I've been burned before, badly..... When it presents itself, I still reach out, knowing the truth..... But hoping this time will be different. And again, the flesh is seared from my hand, leaving me a charred, bloody mass of pain....
And I can't help but figure, it's all I deserve... I know the truth, yet still try..... FUCK.