Update
(ripped from my Jedi Training journal, so the end may not make a lot of sense since it pretains to the things Callisa is having me work on.)
*tunes in to the holonetwork, sets parameters....connection with the Jedi Temple established....*
That's how I feel ATM, lol. I'm a Jedi on active duty ^_-
Before the school year let out, my godmother got ahold of me and told me of a divorce between her and my godfather of sixteen years. She was having a hard time dealing, so despite already having summer plans, I dropped everything in my life....as per the Jedi Way....and made plans to spend the summer here in North Carolina.
Oh boy....what a summer it's been so far. To assess the situation when I arrived: my godmother has her own apartment with another lady, and a new boyfriend. The divorce is not finalized, and neither is the custody work for the two children involved. My godmom is a recovering alcoholic, which is what led to a lot of this, and was just returning to work because she'd been in the recovery home for a while.
Needless to say, it has been a storm of negative energy here, mostly coming from my godfather (no, I will [i]not[/i] stop calling him that. A few month's actions do not change 16 years of being more a dad to me then my own father). He was....and possibly still is, just being sneaky....stalking my godmother and her new bf. He snapped a picture about a week after I'd been here of my godmom's bf, and tried to bring him to court on a no-contact order....AGAINST my godmom! The judge tried to explain that he CANNOT do this and quickly dismissed the case. We haven't seen him since, but he has been being an ass about letting my godmom see the kids.
My godmom's car also broke down a few days ago, with terrible timing. It's just more stress on her and everyone in the household.
I think this Jedi assignment (lol, humor is my sanity. Leave me be ;p) is a bit more then I was ready for. It's difficult to see my family torn like this, the two people that for the longest time were the closest thing to real parents I ever had. I am, also, ultimately powerless to make any kind of constructive change around here....all I can do is help guide and advise my godmom, and comfort her as much as I can.
However, I feel like I'm breaking. I'm not sleeping too well, but I am resting and managing to meditate some. Father's Day is also approaching, which bothers me for other, more personal reasons.
I have to admit, I haven't been working as diligently on my Jedi training as I know I should be. I haven't practiced shielding at all, and meditating is a 50/50 deal. I did manage to feel a strong connection last night with Master Callista because of her strong emotions, and I believe my lack of sleep last night was an empathic syphon. I also (without Callisa's permission....I'm sorry, master) projected last week to keep an eye over a friend in Michigan who's father was being abusive. I know I couldn't have done anything, but....it made us both feel better. I also zeroed in on Master Callista for a bit, but had to resurface due to the sickening feeling I get when I'm out-of-body too long. I don't know if that's normal or not; it has only happened a few times.
So, there's my current life in a nutshell. A big release for me is my old hobby of wave jumping out here on the beach....waiting until dusk comes, when the sharks are feeding and the waves 10-12 feet, and just dive bombing into them and letting them try to drag you out.
There's nothing like being near-death to make you feel truly alive afterwards! *evil chuckle*