On the verge...
of a nervous breakdown.
The out of control feeling is spiraling...big time. I feel like I can't handle it. Helga called me back to tell me about how Lou finally called from the company I interviewed with like a month and a half ago. ABOUT TIME! The downside is, she had to tell Chris and Jody because they were right there when he called. So yeah, they know I am looking elsewhere for employment opportunities. Chris isn't mad, Helga said, he understands, but he was kinda mad that Helga knew and didn't say anything. What was she to say???! That I was looking at other jobs?! Your current employer doesn't need to know that. Plus, I had Helga be my reference since I, frankly, don't trust Chris. In the end, he understands, knows I want to stay at the winery, but need something to supplement my income. I can't live on the winery salary alone. Helga explained everything to him and Jody. There are other work politics that go into this situation that stress me out....but I don't want to get into it. All in all, I know I haven't done anything wrong...I just wish I knew exactly where I stand with the company.
I also gave my resume to Bethy. She forwarded it to the traffic department and they said once the new supervisor starts, they will start interviews and stuff. Hopefully, something will happen there. It's in Detroit. Which obviously isn't Berrien. But maybe I need to make a change. A big change. Take a chance.
I don't know.
I talked to Sarah forever as well because she is bored at work and I needed to vent. I felt like crying at least five times while on the phone with her. I just feel so overwhelmed and lost.
When I got off the phone, I saw that my mom had slipped a card under my door for me...
"There are points in our lives where we must step back and take a deep breath and realize we do have the power to change things- it may feel scary- but you have the inner strength to push yourself forward. Sometimes you just have to do it! Whatever IT is and where ever IT may take you. I believe in you. Just believe in yourself. Pick yourself up adn move forwards. Maybe baby steps...but go forward and soon you will be leaping...... Love ya always, Mom P.S. I'm here for you. P.P.S. Did I do it right!?"
The last part made me laugh because my mom knows my P.S. pet peeve.
I need to stop playing it so safe and living for other people. Period. End of sentence.
The out of control feeling is spiraling...big time. I feel like I can't handle it. Helga called me back to tell me about how Lou finally called from the company I interviewed with like a month and a half ago. ABOUT TIME! The downside is, she had to tell Chris and Jody because they were right there when he called. So yeah, they know I am looking elsewhere for employment opportunities. Chris isn't mad, Helga said, he understands, but he was kinda mad that Helga knew and didn't say anything. What was she to say???! That I was looking at other jobs?! Your current employer doesn't need to know that. Plus, I had Helga be my reference since I, frankly, don't trust Chris. In the end, he understands, knows I want to stay at the winery, but need something to supplement my income. I can't live on the winery salary alone. Helga explained everything to him and Jody. There are other work politics that go into this situation that stress me out....but I don't want to get into it. All in all, I know I haven't done anything wrong...I just wish I knew exactly where I stand with the company.
I also gave my resume to Bethy. She forwarded it to the traffic department and they said once the new supervisor starts, they will start interviews and stuff. Hopefully, something will happen there. It's in Detroit. Which obviously isn't Berrien. But maybe I need to make a change. A big change. Take a chance.
I don't know.
I talked to Sarah forever as well because she is bored at work and I needed to vent. I felt like crying at least five times while on the phone with her. I just feel so overwhelmed and lost.
When I got off the phone, I saw that my mom had slipped a card under my door for me...
"There are points in our lives where we must step back and take a deep breath and realize we do have the power to change things- it may feel scary- but you have the inner strength to push yourself forward. Sometimes you just have to do it! Whatever IT is and where ever IT may take you. I believe in you. Just believe in yourself. Pick yourself up adn move forwards. Maybe baby steps...but go forward and soon you will be leaping...... Love ya always, Mom P.S. I'm here for you. P.P.S. Did I do it right!?"
The last part made me laugh because my mom knows my P.S. pet peeve.
I need to stop playing it so safe and living for other people. Period. End of sentence.