seeing as today is the last day i will probably ever see you
Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight, I'll
Put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light, just
Don't forget to
Think about me, and I
Won't forget you
"I'll write you once a week," she said
Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off?
And if young love is just a game, then
I must have missed the kick-off
Don't depend on me to
Ever follow through on
Anything but
I'd go through Hell for you and
I haven't been this scared
In a long time
And I'm so unprepared
So here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words
A simple melody
This world's an ugly place
But you're so beautiful to me
First and foremost welcome to brad’s fucking long entry because he hasn’t updated this summer nor has he had a solid computer to update with…
So now that I have my labtop back with Microsoft word hopefully I can get some thoughts out on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness because apparently those are the things that matter.
But first to the most important group of people of which I have spent the last 20 min. in vain looking for what Mathew Grulke god among men said to me when I was a senior
Instead this is what I found of what I said.
First and most important on the list:
1. KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE If you think that the senior year is going to suck then its going to suck monkey balls because you will notice everything bad that happens. So much of life is based on how you approach things. Think of Voldermornt’s self fulfilling prophecy that I used awhile ago. Voldermornt chose that harry was “the one” and harry became “the one.” Now you need to chose whether your senior year is going to rock or suck.
2. KEEP TO THE GOLDEN RULE treat others as you want to be treated or else you will be hurt also in an act of retaliation.
3. FORGIVE I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness (affirmation by savage garden)
4. DON’T PLACE YOUR HAPPYNESS IN OTHER PEOPLE’S HANDS don’t rely on a person to make you happy cause no one is happy all the time. Don’t let the fact that someone might hate you get in the way of your fun. As Fitztner says “that’s a personal problem” for them not you. If they are stuck on something fuck them because they definitely want to bring you down with them.
5. TAKE ACTION if your bored do something call someone don’t just let yourself be bored. You can’t expect others to always do things for you.
6. REALIZE what makes you happy, realize who your true friends are, realize what the fuck is going on around you and act accordingly.
7. WORRY ABOUT COLLEGE WHEN THE LETTER COMES at the very least there will be a one month period where you won’t know if you got into college or not, so which would be smarter, worrying that whole month and getting yourself more depressed then Andrew Keila watching the red wings kill the Colorado Avalanche 7 to 0 or letting the cards fall where they may and live life the way you want to for a month because you have no control over what happens and worrying won’t help. If you know who mitra daneshvar is then you know what kind of person I’m talking about (I’m sorry mitra but I don’t think you read this rule and I believe you would agree with me)
8. SPREAD SUNSHINE TO OTHERS when someone does good tell them good job, thank your friends for their friendship, let people know you appreciate them and they will appreciate you.
9. AND IF AFTER DOING EVERYTHING ON MY LIST YOU STILL DO NOT HAVE AN AMAZING SENIOR YEAR, THE BEST CLIMAX EVER, THEN
BLAME YOURSELVES BECAUSE YOU LET THE CLASS OF 08 STEAL THE CLASS PRESIDENCY FROM UNDER YOUR NOSES.
But I’m feelin like those rules can be used in college also I mean ok fuck college other than #7 all those are pretty much good for life (ok maybe not 9 either)
So here is my final rule after going through senior year
- ITS FUCKIN SENIOR YEAR if you want it then you should go for it. This is the one part in your life when work is going to take a break for a moment and give you a chance to focus on other things. So if you want to practice hokey instead of homework then you should but only if you want to.
For truly looking back on not just my senior year but pretty much my entire high school career (highlighted by my senior year) has been truly blessed. I mean I went from never having swam competitively in 9th grade to being honored with one of the nations highest awards if that’s not god looking down on someone then I don’t know what is; I made out with the girl I wanted to since like 2nd grade proving once again that no one says no to Brad Sloan. I got the school to pretty much love me and get one of my favorite stories of my life out to the school though I still don’t know if people really saw a lesson in mine (it was if you don’t like your life… suck it up because you made promises or fucking do something about it instead of just complaining about it to people who most likely don’t care). I got into the college of my choice although I still am a bit disinterested in moving away and going to college but we’ll talk about that later. I dated and found what I thought was love and then knew it wasn’t. and then I found what I still believe to be love though I’m not so absolutely sure anymore but needless to say I found what I wanted. I’ve had loyal friends and no one could have picked better ones.
and if I have any advice to those of you still in high school it is this. date in high school because I believe it was when I started dating Aubrey (hey see you soon if your reading this) that I started to gain a “stride” in high school, whether it was becoming funnier or becoming more relaxed around girls I don’t know what changed. Whatever it was I believe dating is something to at least get a taste of before going off to college where I hear there isn’t much of a dating scene but more of an “hey I just chugged a beer lets make out” scene (please correct me if I’m wrong those of you that know and read this). overall I wouldn’t change any of the relationships I’ve had although little things I would have changed like hooking up with certain people (no not you lol) and various little things but overall it has been a learning experience and to those of you I did hook up with I want you to know that you all are lucky, no not because you hooked up with an all American and no not because you taught me that all girls are stupid and so deserve to be taken advantage of but because you all ment something to me, except for patty sorry you didn’t mean anything to me it was just a night of hot bodies and bad decisions (I’m hoping someone is laughing right now other than me).
and now its time to go onto level 2 of the learning experience.
College.
If you didn’t pay attention to the last two big paragraphs you wouldn’t know that I am still a bit disinterested about going off to college but now you know. Mathew Grulke God among men said to me when I told him I wasn’t that psyched about going to college “I know I mean why would you ever want to leave Birmingham” and of course I immediately agreed I mean I don’t have any quarrels with my parents, I’m pretty much on my own, I don’t have to pay for anything or do any chores… ok maybe on my own was not the right choice of words but, I am pretty much free from responsibility. My parents have raised me well and still do take great care of me and when thinking of college I feel wrong to think that I should want to leave this place. Truthfully though the thought of wanting to leave doesn’t really even cross my mind, I don’t have all my friends abandoning me because they secretly hate me nor do I secretly hate my friends and wish to be as far away from them as possible. I am very loyal to those who are close to me and I am very good at forgiving those who are close to me because I believe they would do the same though I am sometimes mistaken. I can’t find a reason to want to leave.
Until I looked at boy meets world. Yes boy meets world teaches me yet another great lesson. Somewhere around the second to last episode where tapanga gets the internship at nyu in new york and cory asks her to stay again because he doesn’t want to leave and she says yes. Cory then goes to mr. feeny and asks him if he is right to make tapanga stay and mr. feeny starts to talk about a plant that used to live inside with him until one day he decided to bring it outside and plant it in the garden because the plant would not grow anymore if it was stuck in the pot symbolizing that tapanga must go new york because she must continue to grow. Then mr feeney said something else that intrigued me. He said when he tried to pull the plant out of the pot it’s roots resisted a little symbolizing that people do not like drastic changes even if it is for their own benefit. So I geuss though I don’t feel like I should want to go away to college I believe that it is the right thing to do in order to grow
So I geuss I’ve found my closure and am now ready to go to college and now all that’s left for this livejournal is my “throwin it out there” lesson
I’ve said many a time that my jokes are for my own entertainment only, if you get a kick out of them too then that’s just bonus points. I try and take a different approach to dating however and instead of making it about how far two people can go until one of us gets pissed off and instead of the relationship being for my entertainment only, I try and make it more about learning what I might want in marriage. Try is obviously highlighted because sometimes my plans go awry and a relationship starts crumble because the girl looses interest or I loose interest or the whole thing starts to focus way too much on sex but if there is one thing I’ve learned from everything it is what to hold precious in a relationship. That is why date early (except for my daughter in the future) because I might have been happy with Aubrey, cute, funny, a bit short but she was a good person above all and if I had known what to appreciate in a relationship I might not have broken up with her had she lived closer to me. Savage garden says that you can’t appreciate true love till you’ve been burned and I believe that’s true because much too often I feel that those around me don’t appreciate what they have.
I hope we all burn so that our loyalties may be realized and strengthened.
Date to marry
Or else it’s just dating with lust
And that is a deadly sin
So he's leavin' the life he's come to know,
He said he's goin' back to find
Ooh, what's left of his world,
The world he left behind
Not so long ago.
He's leaving,
On that midnight train to Georgia,
And he's goin' back
To a simpler place and time.
And I'll be with him
On that midnight train to Georgia,
I'd rather live in his world
Than live without him in mine.