Video #01

[talktothefinger]

[The video flicks on to show a young boy of ten, sitting across with his hands settled on his knees. A blue cap with a yellow puffball rests atop his head with flaps covering his ears and with a blue jacket to match. He looks rather frustrated and a sigh soon escapes him

Comments

[hat_and_dagger]

[Tries not to laugh at the hat and fails.]

Eh, don' get so worked up, kid. An' it's probably not deir fault dat ya here. Ya here on Isola di Sorte 'cause dere's problems wid ya timeline. An' nobdy from 'South Park' can hear ya.

[talktothefinger]

[Does not look amused by the random bout of laughter. He likes this hat.]

Timeline problems? Right. Okay. Compared to guinea pigs and Satan I suppose that's really nothing unusual.

So, dude, when can I get out of here?

[hat_and_dagger]

...Guinea pigs?
Don' know. Depends on when ya timeline gets fixed. Some event messed it up an' ya gotta find out what it is so da whole thing doesn' get destroyed.

[talktothefinger]

It's a really long story. Long and irritating.

[He has half a mind to look even more pissed off at the news and flops back in the chair he's seated at.]

Fucking wonderful. Well, at least I'm not as confused as I was. I'd still just rather be safe at home watching TV.

[hat_and_dagger]

Once ya get ova' bein' hmesick an' all, it's actually kinda fun. Lotsa innarestin' people ta meet.

Speakin' a dat, what's your name?

[talktothefinger]

Oh, right. Sorry about that, dude. My name is Craig Tucker.

[He manages to resist the urge to show his middle finger after that little introduction like a good boy.]

What about you?

[hat_and_dagger]

Nice ta meet'cha, Craig. I'm Firo Prochainezo. [Tips his hat out of habit.]

Where'd ya come from?

[talktothefinger]

[He relaxes a little when it seems he might be making friends with one sane person around this unfamiliar place.]

From Colorado. A town called South Park just like I mentioned before. It's a pretty small town where everyone knows each other.

[He gains a curious look about him.]

You have an interesting name, though. Are you even from America?

[hat_and_dagger]

Colorado, eh? Dat's pretty far out west, isn' it?

Heh, I get dat a lot. I am, I was born in N'Yawk. My fadda' was right off da boat from Italy an' my mudda' let him name me. 'Firo' actually isn' a real name it's taken from a word or somethin'.

[talktothefinger]

Yeah, real far out there. Snow all the time too and pretty shitty when there isn't.

[He gives a thoughtful hum to Firo's explanation.]

I could see how a lot of people get confused over such a thing. New York isn't really my kind of thing. I like my simple town despite how much chaos tends to go on weekly over there.

Although, that chaos seems to have followed me here I guess. Or at least some of it.

[hat_and_dagger]

I always thought a little town would be kinda peaceful.

Chaos? Like when ya mentioned Satan before?

[talktothefinger]

Yeah, but Satan is just one of the problems in that town.

[He can be seen frowning at just the memories.]

There was a huge Mecha-Streizand once. But, uh, that's kind of difficult to get into.

[hat_and_dagger]

...I neva' woulda' thought dat he actually was real...

...What's a Mecha-Streizand?

[talktothefinger]

Oh he's real alright. Real and very gay.

[He can be seen scratching at his hat in thought as he tries very hard to come up with an answer to a very hard question.]

Oh man, uh... well, it's Barbra Streisand only in robot form. She terrorized our town a long time ago.

[hat_and_dagger]

...Gay? As in happy? All dose church guys said he'd be mad...

[Long blank stare] Barbra Streisand? An' dere are robots dere?! Dat's amazin'!

[talktothefinger]

No, dude, gay as in...

[long sigh on his end]

Nevermind, another long story.

Yeah, there have been robots and tons of other crazy shit all around my town. It's kind of the norm. If crazy stuff doesn't happen then it just doesn't feel like South Park.