(no subject)
It sucks that life changes people so drastically, especially if the person he was before was actually greater than what he is now.
Sometimes I don't know who Roy is anymore, and that is frustrating because on the outside he looks the same. His hair sometimes changes colors and he loses and gains weight but overall he looks like the kid I knew... got the same scars on his lip and cheek and he's got the same mouth and nose...
His eyes change though...Sometimes when he talks to me (a rarity) his blue eyes sparkle with his sarcastic smile... Other times he's so cold and ignores me altogether.
My heart gets nervous when he walks into a room or when I hear footsteps I try to guess if they are his.
Actually, when I hear footsteps I fix my hair............lol sad.
I'm trying my hardest not to care, and not to chase after him in any way.
Yesterday he helped me look for apartments, his friend Frank came along though and sat next to Roy in the car. That sucked. But at the end we went to the grocery store and I got some stuff and headed back to the car and txted him saying I would be in the car waiting... Frank came out to tell me that Roy said they'd be a while. Ten minutes later Roy came out alone... he just looked at me and asked if I wanted to go to Subway...I said no.
We drove back home in silence and when we got to his street he said "Em? Do you know how to sew?"
His button fell off of his wool coat. I sewed it back on, he never said thank you.
Stuff like that makes me sad. When he doesn't recognize nice things i do for him.
He does say to me "Why are you so nice?" when I say "Why are you so mean?"
................
But still my heart goes crazy around him...and I always smile. I always try to impress him... I dress better around him, I make myself look nice...I do my hair... and sometimes he says "Hey, Your hair looks nice..." and that makes it worth it...
but in the end it's a DEAD end.
Sometimes I don't know who Roy is anymore, and that is frustrating because on the outside he looks the same. His hair sometimes changes colors and he loses and gains weight but overall he looks like the kid I knew... got the same scars on his lip and cheek and he's got the same mouth and nose...
His eyes change though...Sometimes when he talks to me (a rarity) his blue eyes sparkle with his sarcastic smile... Other times he's so cold and ignores me altogether.
My heart gets nervous when he walks into a room or when I hear footsteps I try to guess if they are his.
Actually, when I hear footsteps I fix my hair............lol sad.
I'm trying my hardest not to care, and not to chase after him in any way.
Yesterday he helped me look for apartments, his friend Frank came along though and sat next to Roy in the car. That sucked. But at the end we went to the grocery store and I got some stuff and headed back to the car and txted him saying I would be in the car waiting... Frank came out to tell me that Roy said they'd be a while. Ten minutes later Roy came out alone... he just looked at me and asked if I wanted to go to Subway...I said no.
We drove back home in silence and when we got to his street he said "Em? Do you know how to sew?"
His button fell off of his wool coat. I sewed it back on, he never said thank you.
Stuff like that makes me sad. When he doesn't recognize nice things i do for him.
He does say to me "Why are you so nice?" when I say "Why are you so mean?"
................
But still my heart goes crazy around him...and I always smile. I always try to impress him... I dress better around him, I make myself look nice...I do my hair... and sometimes he says "Hey, Your hair looks nice..." and that makes it worth it...
but in the end it's a DEAD end.