My idealistic grammatical heart lies bleeding...
As I grade the first quizzes from my 11th grade class, the following sentiment creeps to mind:
"O, America, I weep for you!"
Please, dear readers, allow me to share with you exactly what this first quiz entailed: on the second day of classes, we continued to talk about American folklore. I proceeded in somewhat of a lecture/Q&A format, telling them stories about different American folk heroes and letting them talk back and forth about them. I also told them at the beginning of class that there'd be a quiz at the end. We talked for about 25 minutes on the various folktales, then I gave them a quiz composed thusly:
American Folklore Quiz #1
Name: _______________________________________________________________
Please correctly identify the following by putting the appropriate letter in the blank before the correct number.
A. Paul Bunyan
B. Davy Crockett
C. Jersey Devil
D. Pecos Bill
E. Johnny Appleseed
F. Slue-Foot Sue
G. John Henry
H. Mike Fink
I. Emperor Norton I
J. Casey Jones
___ 1. I’ve been described as “half horse and half alligator.”
___ 2. In the War of 1812, I walked the forest and warned settlers of impending attacks.
___ 3. I had to be shot after my wedding due to a “wardrobe malfunction.”
___ 4. I ruled America from 1859 to 1880, during which I abolished the Democratic and Republican parties.
___ 5. I once jump-started the frozen sun and, later, married Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind.
___ 6. I wielded a 14-pound hammer and no one could match how fast I could go.
___ 7. I was born a normal child, but my demonic nature soon emerged.
___ 8. I failed as a train-driver, going too fast and fatally crashing into fame.
___ 9. I dug Lake Michigan as a watering hole and had a friend as big as me.
___ 10. My favorite companion was Widow-maker, though he cost me my bride.
Summarize one of the stories we discussed in class either today or yesterday. Use the back of this page as necessary.
Everything on this quiz, we talked about in class just before I gave it to them. Each of the matching questions counted as 9 points each and the summary counted as 10 points.
Do you think anyone got a perfect score?
... ... ... I admit, I kinda expected someone would. Here are the scores I actually got, though:
82, 56, 64, 64, 73, 64, 82, 86, 41
Yes. Most of the summaries were alright, though most had several grammatical errors. And then a couple of them looked like this:
"Johnt apple sead he plants apple seads and told on the indians attark"
and
"Davy Crockett was afruteir man and he killed a bear and sow tthe son was frozin so he beted it with the bear and then he kick start it took some of it's shine with him."
To be fair, I think the first child may be one of my special needs students and I just haven't gotten the memo yet. And I was aware that the second child spelled on about a 4th grade level, but not about how atrocious his grammar is.
But, dude, 11th graders. As Jamelle says, this makes the baby Jesus cry.
"O, America, I weep for you!"
Please, dear readers, allow me to share with you exactly what this first quiz entailed: on the second day of classes, we continued to talk about American folklore. I proceeded in somewhat of a lecture/Q&A format, telling them stories about different American folk heroes and letting them talk back and forth about them. I also told them at the beginning of class that there'd be a quiz at the end. We talked for about 25 minutes on the various folktales, then I gave them a quiz composed thusly:
American Folklore Quiz #1
Name: _______________________________________________________________
Please correctly identify the following by putting the appropriate letter in the blank before the correct number.
A. Paul Bunyan
B. Davy Crockett
C. Jersey Devil
D. Pecos Bill
E. Johnny Appleseed
F. Slue-Foot Sue
G. John Henry
H. Mike Fink
I. Emperor Norton I
J. Casey Jones
___ 1. I’ve been described as “half horse and half alligator.”
___ 2. In the War of 1812, I walked the forest and warned settlers of impending attacks.
___ 3. I had to be shot after my wedding due to a “wardrobe malfunction.”
___ 4. I ruled America from 1859 to 1880, during which I abolished the Democratic and Republican parties.
___ 5. I once jump-started the frozen sun and, later, married Sally Ann Thunder Ann Whirlwind.
___ 6. I wielded a 14-pound hammer and no one could match how fast I could go.
___ 7. I was born a normal child, but my demonic nature soon emerged.
___ 8. I failed as a train-driver, going too fast and fatally crashing into fame.
___ 9. I dug Lake Michigan as a watering hole and had a friend as big as me.
___ 10. My favorite companion was Widow-maker, though he cost me my bride.
Summarize one of the stories we discussed in class either today or yesterday. Use the back of this page as necessary.
Everything on this quiz, we talked about in class just before I gave it to them. Each of the matching questions counted as 9 points each and the summary counted as 10 points.
Do you think anyone got a perfect score?
... ... ... I admit, I kinda expected someone would. Here are the scores I actually got, though:
82, 56, 64, 64, 73, 64, 82, 86, 41
Yes. Most of the summaries were alright, though most had several grammatical errors. And then a couple of them looked like this:
"Johnt apple sead he plants apple seads and told on the indians attark"
and
"Davy Crockett was afruteir man and he killed a bear and sow tthe son was frozin so he beted it with the bear and then he kick start it took some of it's shine with him."
To be fair, I think the first child may be one of my special needs students and I just haven't gotten the memo yet. And I was aware that the second child spelled on about a 4th grade level, but not about how atrocious his grammar is.
But, dude, 11th graders. As Jamelle says, this makes the baby Jesus cry.