Chapter 16

[talkstocoyotes]

Jack’s world

At least Jack was past those doubts that it was worth it.

The end of his physical life had come so unexpectedly and in such confusion. The truck had pulled up only a few moments after he realized that the flat tire hadn’t been accidental. He’d fought like hell, hit one of them in the mouth hard and kicked another in the crotch, he knew;

Comments

excellent

[coffeecat33]

These chapters are great. I love a little spiritual mystery added to a story. I feel teary but couldn't say if it's sadness or happiness. Moving on is so difficult yet necessary for us. I know Ennis is going kicking and screaming (lol) but at least he's moving forward. Thanks for this.
cc33 / Leslie

Moving on

[wayne1932]

This is good story telling. As soon as your new chapters showed up I had to go back and read it from the beginning. Just when I thought I was getting over the devastation of the original story, reading your take on Ennis just blew me away again. Surely a year is enough for me to get over this, Ennis is moving on, time for me to move on too.

Thanks for writing.

Re: Moving on

[talkstocoyotes]

Wayne, I'm not sure if I've told you adequately how much I've appreciated your very touching comments and your encouragement.

I'm not sure if by "moving on" you mean in your personal life, in reading the rest of this story, or both. Regardless, I do wish you all the best and know that you deserve the best. God bless.

Re: Moving on

[wayne1932]

I assume you have read my story on my live journal. You are my mutual friend

Re: Moving on

[talkstocoyotes]

No, it's not the end of this particular fic. The chapters immediately following will be detailed but some of them after that might mimic the film's "snapshot" approach to passing years.

I understand that you've had some heavy things to deal with and that there's no one-size-fits-all approach. For me, the fictional involvement with Ennis and Jack has been a stressful but very rewarding growth experience that came along at just the right point in life.

((( Good luck to you! )))

I'm really wondering

[jennydcf]

who these friends are. I thought the first one was Randall, but then he made that remark about looking after both of them, and I wondered if he might be Nathan. Whoever he was, it sounded to me like he killed himself--that's why he didn't get to wait and was under review. Just a guess, of course. And his mentor--somebody straight, I'm supposing, since he's got a woman--I have no idea who that might be. Sounds like Jack is gonna have to stop being as present for Ennis, which is probably just as well, given where Ennis is going.

I'm enjoying both the mundane and the metaphysical sides of this story. I'll be waiting eagerly for your next update.

Re: I'm really wondering

[talkstocoyotes]

You're right with the guess as to who Jack's friend is. The reference to David's and Nathan's parents being close and longtime friends in Chapter 5 is intended to mirror two sets of paired souls

Re: I'm really wondering

[talkstocoyotes]

Oh, forgot to add --

There will be more info about Nathan later on. The story is told in terms of Ennis' experience and that tentative stage of his relationship with David, the phone conversations wouldn't have been the right time to hear it.

I'm loving this story.

[jackien1968]

It's hard for me to critique a work in progress, but I can say this: Out of the perhaps dozen stories at most that I check daily for updates... out of the 2 or at most 3 that I check more than once a day... this is the one that makes my heart skip a beat the hardest when I see that there's more. It's riveting, touching, beautiful, and free of the endless distracting language mistakes which plague so much of the conceptually-good fanfiction out there. Keep it coming; it's always well worth the wait; and yet the wait is sweet torture.

Best regards,
Jackie

[talkstocoyotes]

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I know I've repeated this in other message replies, but both the praise and the criticism I've received has meant so much - this is my first attempt at fiction and my first serious writing project after a writer's block that lasted for years. And just about all the criticism has been useful and constructive, which hasn't been true of all the fanfic writers.

Believe me, I'd be posting chapters faster if I could! These three actually went very quickly, three in about five weeks. They seem to be a bit like a stew cooking in a crockpot, and the pot is full of little notes and paragraphs that I jot down and stick in my pocket or purse or even lunch bag! Writing fiction is both harder and more rewarding than I expected.

The writing process

[milomorris]

I applaud you and all the other authors out there for being brave enough to write these stories. It can't be easy: staying true to the essence of the characters and Proulx, while at the same time moving into new and uncharted territory to make something new emerge. I don't write. I'm a singer. Sometimes I'll work on an aria for a year or more before it is ready to be offered to an audience or at an audition. Creating takes time. Don't feel pressured by the readers to churn out your chapters before they are ready. Take your time. Yes, weeks go by and we all keep looking for more of your story. But it is always worth the wait.

Peace,
Milo