Gift of Exile Part 1, Chapter 3
Chapter 3
The photographer peered through the camera lens long enough that any of the wedding party might have thought he was meditating, or had fallen asleep on his feet. “Jenny, we need you to get up on the steps,” he said. And after another endless pause, “Mr. Del Mar, please move a bit to your right. There’s a glare on you from the window.” ( Read more... )
A lot of this story is built on religious beliefs I have about relationships developing over a series of lifetimes although there are NO flashbacks to past lives. (I'm new to fiction writing and know my limitations!) Also, David's earlier relationship that's mentioned in this chapter was to someone with a very different background from Ennis but with some of the same self-acceptance problems that in this case became violently self-destructive. Actually, Ennis and David for that matter have sharply contrasting backgrounds but to some extent their experiences reflect each other's.
I'm familiar with the other story you mentioned and Jack has made certain post-mortem choices but the similarity pretty much ends there. I'd like it if you were willing to evaluate this story on its own merits/demerits and not in comparison to someone else's; but of course it's your choice if you want to do that.
BTW, I'm not sure what an opening line like "well, you owe me one" was so horrifying. This is a stranger at a family event that he's talking to, and he's basically just making a wry comment about some of his relatives.
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I'm honestly not trying to compare your story to another. But none of us come to literature without baggage, just like we don't come to relationships without baggage. We've all read something before, and in this case that something really tore me apart. I haven't gotten over that something, and seeing anything to remind me of it puts me in a very unpleasant and unstable emotional place (although what this means about my personal beliefs about the afterlife is a lot harder to determine).
I would love to evaluate your fic based on its merits, as I would love Ennis to evaluate David based on his, but I haven't moved on yet. I may stick around for a while to see what I can handle, because I adore your writing style (I don't believe burrying my head in the sand ever makes these things better, but we all distance ourselves from painful situations from time to time).
I'm not totally sure what you mean about the "well, you owe me one" bit of your comment *scratches head* All I can say is that any horrified I feel comes from within me, and not your story, and I recognize that, but that doesn't change that it exists there.
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I'd be glad to explain it to you but don't want to do that here as it would involve too many spoilers. If you want to message me at www.davecullen.com/forums registration there is free & takes just a few minutes, if you're not already a member.
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I am beginning to see that you have a good point. I made assumptions about the plot direction of your story based on the plot of another, and that's not exactly fair. I'm just trying to protect myself! But since it seems you're headed someplace else entirely (and why shouldn't you be, right? I think this was your point), I'm in. It was simply that assurance that I craved.
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