Don't you ever stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome!
Moving week. Sad. Weird. Different. I don't think I'll really cry until about 2 weeks after moving...I don't think it's going to hit me until then.
I grew up in this house. I'm currently staying in the guest bedroom, which was my childhood bedroom. I had to clean everything out of the bedroom downstairs that I spent my teenage life in.
So many memories. A mobile over my head in this exact bed, in this exact position in the room. Then, changing the walls from pink. Dancing on my bed to the Now and Then soundtrack. Cutting in this room. Developing in this room. Spending hours at my desk drawing and writing.
And then downstairs...exercising for hours after eating an apple and a mediocre dinner all day, pictures of thin people all over my walls. Queer as Folk. My ratties. Senior year, where my bed was angled all weird. Coming back from Truman and watching Family Guy. Hiding diet pills and laxatives and lying in bed thinking I was dying from a heart attack after overdosing on them.
Bad memories, good memories, there are so many here. Winters with Steph, sledding. Autumns having bonfires, going camping with the fam, camping in the back yard! Raking leaves just to jump in them. The swingset. Grandfather tree, pretending to be Indians hiding in the woods from one another.
This has always been "Home Base". I've moved from state to state, trying to find myself. I've been to treatment centers. I've gone to college. But this has always been here.
It won't be anymore. It's not going to be my house, my shower, my bath, my yard, my closet, my life.
It's gone.
This is so hard.
to look forward to: Having mom around again. Joining a gym in Waco. Having a car out there. Eating healthier. Losing weight. A social life (hopefully, oh jeeze!). More church functions. A pond in our backyard! Buying new furniture and getting to decorate the way we want to. Applying to schools and moving on with my life.
Virginia, I love you, but you're holding me down. <3
I grew up in this house. I'm currently staying in the guest bedroom, which was my childhood bedroom. I had to clean everything out of the bedroom downstairs that I spent my teenage life in.
So many memories. A mobile over my head in this exact bed, in this exact position in the room. Then, changing the walls from pink. Dancing on my bed to the Now and Then soundtrack. Cutting in this room. Developing in this room. Spending hours at my desk drawing and writing.
And then downstairs...exercising for hours after eating an apple and a mediocre dinner all day, pictures of thin people all over my walls. Queer as Folk. My ratties. Senior year, where my bed was angled all weird. Coming back from Truman and watching Family Guy. Hiding diet pills and laxatives and lying in bed thinking I was dying from a heart attack after overdosing on them.
Bad memories, good memories, there are so many here. Winters with Steph, sledding. Autumns having bonfires, going camping with the fam, camping in the back yard! Raking leaves just to jump in them. The swingset. Grandfather tree, pretending to be Indians hiding in the woods from one another.
This has always been "Home Base". I've moved from state to state, trying to find myself. I've been to treatment centers. I've gone to college. But this has always been here.
It won't be anymore. It's not going to be my house, my shower, my bath, my yard, my closet, my life.
It's gone.
This is so hard.
to look forward to: Having mom around again. Joining a gym in Waco. Having a car out there. Eating healthier. Losing weight. A social life (hopefully, oh jeeze!). More church functions. A pond in our backyard! Buying new furniture and getting to decorate the way we want to. Applying to schools and moving on with my life.
Virginia, I love you, but you're holding me down. <3