Happy Birthday Natalie (1 day late forgive me I had heart failure)
It's about time I got some fucking energy, I still wouldn't consider myself a full tank but at least I can make tea in a pot and hold it long enough to pour it (a feat I was incapable of less than 24 short hours ago) Every word I write in this godforsaken piece of shit journal not like I preach it everytime but in case you forgot it's for Natalie Reed my he-to-she-female-to-male-afro-farting-nappy-headed-twat-showing-cock-popping sorry excuse for a woman because she's a man stalker. If it wasn't for her I would never update this repetitive, banal, unoriginal journal.
I was @ BUMP (where else) with Christopher (who else) on Monday (when else)..fyi if you watch the Real World and saw the latest episode, the place I'm talking about is located 2 blocks away from my house and I attend bi-weekly for my favorite event Happy Hour aka $2 martinis..if you pay attention in the episode, it's the bar they go to (they actually show the name) with the orange and white circles all around it..very pretty, so pay attention! At any rate the reason I brought this up is because in the midst of our conversation (my brother was also there), we were discussing the singer/fake-songwriter thing also known as John Gayer (formally John Mayor) WE HATE HIM. I decided that I can't stand the sound of his fake-music 8 years ago but it's nice to finally have someone who couldn't agree with me more. I will provide three reasons why John Gayer should never open his mouth again unless it's to suck penis in a gayer porno than Michael Jackson & Margaret Cho.
1)"Your body is a wonderland" - How long did it take you to figure that out, tool.
2)"I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, so tonight I'm gonna rise above." - If it took you to the tender age of 17 to come to the conclusion that there's no such thing as the real world then you don't deserve to be here/you're gonna rise above? What's next?! The Black National Anthem!? Honestly that sounds like something a slave would say in the 1800s.
3)You look like a zoo animal/AIDS patient. Eat some collard greens..like 10 pounds of them.
Stay tuned for the next journal entry so you can hear me talk shit on who else I hate on this planet.
Oh and by the way, Natalie and Tom didn't know what a faghag was, and when I told them Natalie not only decided that she WAS one but she's so obsessed with the term that she put it in her profile. End of discussion.
True or false my boss just hired two new people that look/sound/smell like ex-convicts and everytime I work I fear for my life. What the hell? If I wanted to work at the Green Mile I would've gained 300 pounds and gotten a tan so I was blacker than the black fat thing also known as Michael Clark Duncan Donut I'll sit on ur ass but not before I eat it although if I sit on it you'll be a large pancake and I have plenty of Aunt Jemima under my bed thing.
I was @ BUMP (where else) with Christopher (who else) on Monday (when else)..fyi if you watch the Real World and saw the latest episode, the place I'm talking about is located 2 blocks away from my house and I attend bi-weekly for my favorite event Happy Hour aka $2 martinis..if you pay attention in the episode, it's the bar they go to (they actually show the name) with the orange and white circles all around it..very pretty, so pay attention! At any rate the reason I brought this up is because in the midst of our conversation (my brother was also there), we were discussing the singer/fake-songwriter thing also known as John Gayer (formally John Mayor) WE HATE HIM. I decided that I can't stand the sound of his fake-music 8 years ago but it's nice to finally have someone who couldn't agree with me more. I will provide three reasons why John Gayer should never open his mouth again unless it's to suck penis in a gayer porno than Michael Jackson & Margaret Cho.
1)"Your body is a wonderland" - How long did it take you to figure that out, tool.
2)"I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, so tonight I'm gonna rise above." - If it took you to the tender age of 17 to come to the conclusion that there's no such thing as the real world then you don't deserve to be here/you're gonna rise above? What's next?! The Black National Anthem!? Honestly that sounds like something a slave would say in the 1800s.
3)You look like a zoo animal/AIDS patient. Eat some collard greens..like 10 pounds of them.
Stay tuned for the next journal entry so you can hear me talk shit on who else I hate on this planet.
Oh and by the way, Natalie and Tom didn't know what a faghag was, and when I told them Natalie not only decided that she WAS one but she's so obsessed with the term that she put it in her profile. End of discussion.
True or false my boss just hired two new people that look/sound/smell like ex-convicts and everytime I work I fear for my life. What the hell? If I wanted to work at the Green Mile I would've gained 300 pounds and gotten a tan so I was blacker than the black fat thing also known as Michael Clark Duncan Donut I'll sit on ur ass but not before I eat it although if I sit on it you'll be a large pancake and I have plenty of Aunt Jemima under my bed thing.