FINE HERE'S A FUCKING UPDATE
You want me to update this god damn thing? fine i will. i'm stuck staying up anyway because i cant fucking sleep. i'm too shitty to sleep. i'm a scared little fuck. i'm sad. i'm lonely. it sounds pathetic but i havent gotten a fucking hug since i left Michigan about 3 months ago. i feel like such shit right now. i cried earlier today and then went and watched some stupid ass scary movie. then i came home and talked to Christina for a bit. earlier today amanda decided to message me. yay! fucking hell why did she have to do that? painful memories come flooding back everytime i have to talk to her. i'm such a stupid retarded fuck. yes i think i can swear a little more in this entry. i feel like just bawling my eyes out righ tnow. i dont want to feel any pain anymore. i've been fucking hurting on and off ever since my mom called me and informed me of some lovely ass news. love doesnt fucking last forever. it always gets fucked up and dies. i'm sick of all of the lies and deceit and hatred and pain. why the fuck do i have to keep feeling it all? why do i have to be hit with it? i'm so sick of going to school and being happy and shit and then coming home and feeling horrid. i hate it. i can't ever get anything done. i just want a fucking hug. god damnit thats all i want. i need something. i need to not hurt. i dont like this bull shit. i can't type anymore.