weeeoooweeeoooweeeoooo
gah, looks like i'm going to have issues sleeping tonight just like last night. Though we have AC now so it shouldnt be that big of a deal. been running around the apartment like a damn psycho for the past hour or so. watched an interesting show on tv, Have a Beer With Mike. very strange show...i've also been thinking about my future a bit. i'd like to spend quite a bit of it with ma woman. damn carnie has my heart in a death grip ;). kinda sucks that we're going to have to wait so long to be together, but i suppose it will be worth it. i'm just scared that i wont be what she wants when we do finally get together....that or she'll have a change of heart while she's at college. lots of new experiences happen in college. lots of new people to meet. she'll most likely meet some awesome guy while she's there. then it will come down to waiting a couple of years to be with me, or dont wait at all and be with the awesome guy at college. i'm thinkin that i would lose out on that one ;). i really love you Christina...i know yer readin this. i want you to be happy in life. i hope i'm able to do that for you. just have this nagging feeling that ill be left though...seems to like to happen to me ;). it would seem fitting...find an awesome girl, love her, dream of her and want to be with her so bad i can feel it. and then lose her....i hope that that doesnt happen. i dont really feel that it could, like i said i feel pretty well at ease about everything with you. just today felt kind of werd, i didnt really get to talk to you all that much during the day. when i did talk to you earlier in the day it wasnt a very good conversation...both of us were doing shitty. after that i sorta moped around a bit. then i went for a drive and felt better. i wish i would have done more for you =(. i was just not doing good at all....i couldnt fight my hurt off enough to be able to help you....but later on i got to talk to you! and it was real good. i knew you were still doing sorta crappy, could feel it. so i put ma game face on and got to work ;). we do pretty good together...and thats awesome. we are a lot alike but yet we have subtle differences. and i think that is a very good thing. having two people that are completely different together can cause conflict. we both give eachother happiness, we pick eachother up when one of us is down. its great....i love you Christina, i wants ta be with you for long long time ;) and i can't wait to actually have you in my arms....i love you