Speaking of my brother...
Def Comedy Jam is coming back to HBO. That shit is awesome. I remember how much I used to LOVE it when I was in like eighth grade and it was still a thrill to be able to watch TV that said the word "fuck." But it reminds me of a story....
So like, there was this kid named Jovan I knew in 10th grade. He had this videocassette of all these old Def Comedy Jam bits that he let me borrow. I used to watch it with my brother over and over and over again, like seriously at least once a day. He kept asking for it back but I really had it for a hell of a long time, until he finally stopped asking about it. So finally one day near the end of the school year, he asked me for it again. Well once it had been sitting around for a while, my brother did with it what he does with all videos...he recorded porn onto it. I mean, that's just the way it was. He would rent porn, then record it onto blank tapes, and sometimes even if they weren't blank, he'd record over them anyway.
So I told the kid that I didn't have it anymore, that my brother recorded porn over it, and he was adament that he get that tape back. I mean, let's be honest, it's not like the tape itself had some kind of sentimental value to him, but it was probably more valuable to him as porn than as old comedy bits. SO EVERYDAY it was like "i need that tape, i need that tape, man........HEY, i need that tape." Everyday. So I went to my brother and I told him I needed the tape, that the kid wanted it back. My brother values porn the way most nerds value action figures or comic books. Asking him to give up one of his collection was like...well, let's just say I already knew the answer before I even asked. He tried to play it up like it was gonna destroy his character to give it up. "You think I'm giving you a tape full of porn to give to a 15 year old kid? You're gonna get me arrested. Get outta my room."
This kid wouldn't take no for an answer, even resorting to such measures as threatening to break into my house to get it. I was just like "well, whatever you have to do, but I can't get it." I told him to call my brother and talk to him about it, but he never did. Needless to say, he ended up hating me.
Well, in actuality, he already hated me because me and Lashondra got him in trouble like a month before that. We went on a field trip to Astroworld and my sister was a chaperone, so when the park closed at 8, instead of going home with the other kids on the bus, me, lashondra and him went with my sister in her truck. We ended up going to some pool hall across town and hanging out and they were smoking pot with my sister and he was FUCKED up. We dropped him off at home finally at like 1 in the morning and the WHOLE NITE he kept saying it was cool and that he was allowed to be out as late as he wanted and playing it up all tough and shit. So when he got out of the truck and went in the house, like AS he was opening the door, his mom was there like beating the holy shit out of him just in front of everybody. Haha, oh man, he got that ass tore up! Oh man, I shouldn't laugh, but Lashondra fucking lost it and then we couldn't stop laughing about it for shit after that.
The next day at school, she fucking told EVERYBODY. He got all mad at ME like it was my fault he lied then got beat like a stepchild. I told them not to get high, they don't listen to me. Oh well, the moral of the story is, don't ever lend me shit because I'll probably end up keeping it and someone in my family will fuck it up and somewhere along the way you might get your ass whipped in front of your peers.
The end.
So like, there was this kid named Jovan I knew in 10th grade. He had this videocassette of all these old Def Comedy Jam bits that he let me borrow. I used to watch it with my brother over and over and over again, like seriously at least once a day. He kept asking for it back but I really had it for a hell of a long time, until he finally stopped asking about it. So finally one day near the end of the school year, he asked me for it again. Well once it had been sitting around for a while, my brother did with it what he does with all videos...he recorded porn onto it. I mean, that's just the way it was. He would rent porn, then record it onto blank tapes, and sometimes even if they weren't blank, he'd record over them anyway.
So I told the kid that I didn't have it anymore, that my brother recorded porn over it, and he was adament that he get that tape back. I mean, let's be honest, it's not like the tape itself had some kind of sentimental value to him, but it was probably more valuable to him as porn than as old comedy bits. SO EVERYDAY it was like "i need that tape, i need that tape, man........HEY, i need that tape." Everyday. So I went to my brother and I told him I needed the tape, that the kid wanted it back. My brother values porn the way most nerds value action figures or comic books. Asking him to give up one of his collection was like...well, let's just say I already knew the answer before I even asked. He tried to play it up like it was gonna destroy his character to give it up. "You think I'm giving you a tape full of porn to give to a 15 year old kid? You're gonna get me arrested. Get outta my room."
This kid wouldn't take no for an answer, even resorting to such measures as threatening to break into my house to get it. I was just like "well, whatever you have to do, but I can't get it." I told him to call my brother and talk to him about it, but he never did. Needless to say, he ended up hating me.
Well, in actuality, he already hated me because me and Lashondra got him in trouble like a month before that. We went on a field trip to Astroworld and my sister was a chaperone, so when the park closed at 8, instead of going home with the other kids on the bus, me, lashondra and him went with my sister in her truck. We ended up going to some pool hall across town and hanging out and they were smoking pot with my sister and he was FUCKED up. We dropped him off at home finally at like 1 in the morning and the WHOLE NITE he kept saying it was cool and that he was allowed to be out as late as he wanted and playing it up all tough and shit. So when he got out of the truck and went in the house, like AS he was opening the door, his mom was there like beating the holy shit out of him just in front of everybody. Haha, oh man, he got that ass tore up! Oh man, I shouldn't laugh, but Lashondra fucking lost it and then we couldn't stop laughing about it for shit after that.
The next day at school, she fucking told EVERYBODY. He got all mad at ME like it was my fault he lied then got beat like a stepchild. I told them not to get high, they don't listen to me. Oh well, the moral of the story is, don't ever lend me shit because I'll probably end up keeping it and someone in my family will fuck it up and somewhere along the way you might get your ass whipped in front of your peers.
The end.