Compulsion (Simon/Wash/Mal) NC17
Title: Compulsion
Author/Artist: Ann
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Joss owns, but it’s fun to play…
Summary: It was over too fast and quick for Wash’s liking, the best part of their meeting missed, leaving him crouched low behind the grille, suddenly realizing how constricting his normally-loose flight suit was as his half hard cock pressed against the buttons
Written for the talkcrazy Simon Tam kinkathon, for thunder_nari, who wanted Simon/Wash/Mal with subby virgin Mal and voyeurism (or darker). Translations are in mouseover.
Thanks to lvs2read and woodsong_1978, for both betaing for me and putting up with my comments and angsts. *hugs*
The first time
The first time Wash happened upon them, it had been purely coincidental. Just a sudden stroke of luck, a temptation from out of the blue. He’d caught the faintest of sounds on the edge of his hearing, unfamiliar enough to make him curious, his fingers paused in untangling the burnt-out wiring Kaylee had cajoled him into helping repair. It was lucky that it wasn’t Kaylee who caught the sounds, wasn’t Kaylee that half-crawled, half-pulled herself through the small service duct to catch the louder echoed noise; that instead she’d chosen to work from the top of the ship down, while Wash took the bottom.
It wouldn’t have been good for her to set eyes upon what Wash had; still mooning after the doctor, even if her eyes were slowly beginning to fall upon the person she rightly deserved, the person whose eyes never wandered from her. He probably should have moved away there and then, just kept himself to himself instead of hovering at the stippled grille. But he found himself unable to tear his eyes away.
Since when is Mal crushing on Simon?
It had been obvious right from the start Simon was more than just hero worshipping Mal, at least to Wash’s eyes, though he’d not thought Mal had seen it. Or that Mal had but had written it off as something a good rut with another wouldn’t cure, just as Wash had. Especially when he’d never seen the captain cross that line, always sticking to his vow not to mess around with his crew. Something that had once given Wash reassurance that he’d have little in the way of problems when he made a play for Zoe, save the odd weapon pulled on him and death threats, but now seemed not all that true.
More than not just true, to Wash’s eyes anyhow. Wash strained forward as much as he could, trying not shuffle, his eyes on the two men. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, try as he might, but their postures left little to the imagination and had him wondering just which one of them had been making all the noises. Both Mal and Simon’s clothes were mussed enough to have been hastily pulled on, both men sporting smiles of a kind which was unfamiliar enough, but not unsettling.
Nice to see Mal looking less like he wants to hurt something and more like he’s…happy, I guess. And Simon…can’t say I’ve ever seen him smile like that, seems too worried and serious all the time. He should do it more often, makes him look younger. I can almost see why Zoe gets so het up over Mal at times too, the man does have a great smile. Just as well it doesn’t come out too often, especially when all he‘s looking at is Simon.
It almost felt like he’d interrupted a private moment, even if they were unaware that he was there, like he was intruding. Wash moved to shuffle backwards, to go back to helping Kaylee with the rewiring, to mulling over just what kept him so bound to Serenity when he’d had waves of job offers only a dai zi would have turned down. Things had never really taken off with Zoe, even if he had wooed her around into grudgingly respecting and then liking him. Though he held himself a good part to blame for that, what kind of person would want a man whose eyes kept drifting to another person?
Especially when said person was a good friend of hers and their captain. Captain… A description that had held Wash back from actually ever making a move, from making more than flirtatious remarks and joking comments. Hadn’t held Simon back though, hadn’t held Mal back either from the looks of it. He felt something stir in his chest at that. Jealousy maybe? Wash wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t moving away either, was keeping his eyes on the couple as Simon pulled Mal forward, capturing his lips in a kiss.
Ai ya, he almost breathed out the words, the quick kiss he’d been expecting becoming something different, something he didn’t want to look away from.
Simon’s hand was fisted in Mal’s shirt, pulling him closer, his other hand resting lightly on buttocks that Wash could never help but sneak more than one peek at. The doctor claimed Mal’s mouth, making him close to groaning as he deepened the kiss and kneaded the taut buttock beneath his hand. Wash wet his own lips at the rush of heat that raced through him, watching Simon nip lightly at Mal’s lips, teasing him into the kiss before suddenly breaking it off, and making the captain murmur disgruntled words that had Simon chuckling as they walked out of the room together.
It was over too fast and quick for Wash’s liking, the best part of their meeting missed, leaving him crouched low behind the grille, suddenly realizing how constricting his normally-loose flight suit was as his half hard cock pressed against the buttons. His mind was on what he’d seen, not what he’d agreed to do as he crawled back along the duct, his cock throbbing at every motion, and sent a garbled message to a very confused Kaylee, before heading back to his bunk.
To let his imagination fill in where he’d missed.
The next time
What did I expect? Them to be fawning over each other making goo goo eyes?
Normal. Everything was normal, or near enough. Mal and Simon were no closer in public than they ever appeared to be, not that Wash had expected them to be, especially with Kaylee still very much in the dark about their relationship. With the crew clueless in fact, only Wash knowing just what had changed and yet, despite seeing with his own eyes, finding it a struggle to believe and to remember the passion with which the two men had kissed. He wouldn’t have figured Mal as being one to keep it a secret, especially not with Kaylee all over the doctor and Jayne still ribbing him every few minutes.
Would be none-the-wiser if they hadn’t chosen that time to be all over each other.
Wash was well aware he kept staring, kept catching their eyes inadvertently when they turned, somehow feeling his gaze upon them. He’d found himself lingering at the infirmary, gaining a somewhat subtle questioning from Simon, who obviously thought he had some kind of personal ailment, and odd looks from Mal when he wandered down from the cockpit more often than usual. He was jumpy and ill at ease, just waiting for accusations. Waiting to be found out.
But he wasn‘t.
And it was only a few days after Wash started to relax, started to settle into the notion that he wouldn’t be found out, that he noticed. Spent so long staring and watching, waiting and on edge, that it wasn’t hard to suddenly see the subtle looks between the two men. The feigning as they bantered over money and jobs, the way Simon casually mentioned Mal spending some time going over the list of medical supplies they needed, and the disgruntled look on Mal‘s face that didn’t quite cover the glee in his eyes, more than just lust--something else.
Wash should have just stayed in his bunk. He shouldn’t have waited until everyone was asleep and slipped out of his own bunk. It was the same small storage room again, not Simon’s bunk or the crew quarters.
Tamade, I really shouldn’t be doing this…again.
It was just a happy coincidence that his good fortune had had the opportunity to repeat itself. A gamble that had paid off from watching and listening to Simon and Mal, rather than drag himself back to the loneliness of his own bunk.
He didn’t go too close this time, didn’t press himself against the grille just in case. Instead Wash listened, thankful that they were being more vocal this time, less stifled. He couldn’t see them, could only imagine what was happening as he listened to Simon. The man’s voice was firm but surprisingly different to the doctor-tone he used, though his words were interrupted by harsh breaths and low groans as he led Mal, telling him where to bite and suck, where to kiss. The captain hadn’t played games before, not like Simon looked to, his words of reassurance--“We’ll go slowly Mal, since you’re not used to this.”-- giving Wash an idea that was only half right.
And I’ve just stepped into a world of weird where Simon’s the one in charge.
Wash couldn’t help listening, more intently at first, hearing the noises he expected, Mal’s garbled replies and Simon’s gasps. But taken aback by it being Simon who was taking more of the lead, calling the shots and seeming more in the know. Simon telling Mal to touch himself, but making it clear the captain’s not to take all his pleasure, that he won’t be touched or stroked or licked by Simon yet, but instead to merely palm his own cock as he pleasures the doctor.
Mal only says he leans towards women…
That made him wonder, made Wash draw a little closer, needing to see with his own eyes but shying back at the last minute. He didn’t dare go closer, not yet, not this time. And by that he’d already confirmed he wanted a next time, wanted to be looking as well as hearing. But despite reckoning on that, for that moment Wash couldn’t shake the worry, could only appease himself enough by compromising and listening only.
Listening and touching himself as he closed his eyes, imagination filling in the blanks. Fingers slipping into his opened fly, Wash bit back a moan as he palmed his hard cock, seeing himself cuffing Mal’s hands behind him, stopping him from touching rather than allowing, as Simon told the captain to kneel. The doctor’s voice was loud enough to encroach into his fantasies, except in his fantasy Wash was right there with Mal; knelt alongside him and pulling Mal into a deep kiss before they both turned their attention to Simon’s crotch, to his demanding cock, which curved upward, poking out from between his opened pants.
He’d never thought much on games like this until now, just thought of sex as sex and taken it where he chose. It should have been seedy, should be wrong to be listening and touching himself, biting his lip as Simon gasped his release and Wash joined him, warmth spilling over his hand. But instead it made Wash all the more aroused, leisurely stroking his half-hard cock, hearing Mal groan as Simon then pleasured him.
Letting fantasy intermingle with reality, he lounged against the wall, wetting his lips and wanting more.
The worst time
For the first few weeks, Wash had kept himself as occupied as he could, not wanting to think on what he‘d heard and seen, not wanting to listen too close to snatches of conversation he kept overhearing. He was still keeping up his usual jokes and banter, unable to resist flirting with Zoe even if she only smiled good-naturedly and rolled her eyes, making Kaylee laugh and River giggle. Flirting that little bit with Simon and Mal too, not that he thought either of them noticed, they both only had eyes for each other even if the doctor was polite and the captain happy to talk about anything that wasn’t to do with the Alliance.
Now, he played with his fingers, the familiar reassuring feel of plastic missing from his hands when he sat in the galley. The unconscious habit which could be soothing at times was missing, his dinosaurs scattered over his console rather than the constant companion that right at that moment his hand wanted them to be. Especially when jealousy and the faintest tinge of resentment set in, like when he enacted the great hidden romance between the herbivores and carnivores, alone in the cockpit rearranging the toys and occasionally slipping in a sarcastic, “And this is how we don‘t mess with crew.”
The signs were easy to recognize by now, something that should have given him cause to pause and think some more, but was ignored; it was easy to read both Mal and Simon, came almost as naturally as flying, especially with spending so much time with them. Wash wasn’t sure if he was masochistic or simply a glutton for punishment but in the recent weeks he’d spent more time with the captain and Simon--both alone and together--than he had with anyone else on board. Including Zoe.
He’d spent an equal amount of time watching them too, taking his own cock to hand as they enjoyed each other, the dynamic of their relationship surprising him the first time but making him all the more aroused the second. It was Simon who called all the shots in the room, the captain showing a fairly docile side when it came to being with the doctor, a stark contrast to his usual stubborn, decisive and slightly insane nature when outside of it. Simon kept Mal waiting for him occasionally, but never once was the captain late, and never once did he do more than hold himself still, resting against a box rather than letting impatience rule and touching himself. It had taken Wash a while to understand the kiss that Simon gave Mal, the hot, sweet, rewarding kiss, had nothing to do with controlling Mal and everything to do with testing him. Pushing subtly and growing more bold each time as new limits were set.
It had taken Wash a while to push aside his own impatience and annoyance at the slowness of them both, the barest of pleasure seeming to satisfy both as each and every time they got that little bit closer to penetration. Not that touching wasn’t good, that Mal and Simon rubbing and grinding together wasn’t hot or that that nipple play didn’t hit one of Wash’s biggest kinks and have him running his fingers over his own, letting nails scrape the large nubs. But it was a while before he learnt to keep their pace, appreciating each time and trying not to make comment as they finished without completely undressing.
A while to realize Simon was romancing Mal,, The ‘new to this’ taking on a whole new wealth of meaning as Wash watched, unseen, as the two of them explored their relationship. As Mal grew more confident in giving, touching Simon, in giving himself over to the doctor, knowing he wouldn’t regret it when Simon took him to new pleasures, brought forth new desires as the games grew more diverse and Mal was soon offering himself up to be bound, light leather encircling his wrists and keeping him in place as Simon traced his tongue up and down his body, working lightly over his cock. Wash found himself trembling along with Mal as the man’s hands caught in the bindings, unable to hold himself back without them, unable to resist the urges that naturally came. A resistance that slowly grew.
Just as Wash’s boldness grew every time he watched them, growing less careful about hiding his own groans as he touched himself and struggled to slip fingers into his own body in time to Simon’s, which teased and twisted making Mal groan and buck up against him. Slowly but surely, hopefully to Wash’s mind, preparing Mal though each time he was left with that edge of frustration, when they found their release and would just lie together--embracing. His own cock was spent and half hard, yet his body craved something more, something he couldn’t think on or name.
In some ways, Wash was glad just to have spent the moments with them, to watch as they almost played up and teased him with their games. Letting him share in an intimate moment and seducing him into joining it, acting upon it, even if he was still on the outside each time. A feeling that he had no way of knowing would grow all the stronger as he eagerly made his way to hide outside the room, Simon’s, “Come with me, Mal.” echoing in his ears.
Mal really needs to think about widening these crawl ways… And wouldn’t that be a thing to ask the captain? Wash could only imagine the suspicion he would attract if he suggested that.
He kept hoping not to bump into River. It hadn’t happened so far but Wash was in no doubt that Simon’s sister was a strange one, had an uncanny sense about her. It was almost like, sometimes, when she watched them, she could see inside them, see everything personal and tightly held, like she was a voyeur herself--albeit unwilling--into what made each and every one of them tick. And she does go all over Serenity, almost like she‘s part of it. Which brought up some very interesting and inappropriate images which he shouldn’t be thinking with River’s brother about to be so close and so delectably unclothed. He snorted and then tried to swallow back the sound by jamming his mouth into his sleeve. The snort came out as a wheeze, Wash almost choking on his own tongue as he heard the storage door being slid open.
Perched in the tunnel, scooting as close to the grill as he dared (which nowadays was almost with his nose pressed to it) Wash tried to keep his breathing steady, his eyes fixed to the two men. He was touching himself again, sharing in the intimate moment, but it was almost frustrating that it was only as an outlooker could--never a lover, just a watcher.
They were both naked this time, Mal was on his knees on the makeshift mattress in front of Simon, as his fingers lightly traced over the man’s hips. Simon was all smooth, well-muscled limbs, cock jutting out toward Mal and looking more shuai each time Wash saw him. The thought of pushing at Simon, seeing how far he would keep up the leading, keep up the teasing, did appeal. Just as much as the fantasy of pulling the man atop him, getting rutted into the mattress, did.
Just as the fantasy of pounding into the man currently fellating Simon did. Mal wasn’t as lean as Simon, not showing such rigidly defined muscles, but had fine shoulders and buttocks which begged biting. Wash couldn’t see Mal’s face but he wasn’t drawing his eyes away from the rest of him to strain and catch a glimpse as Mal half turned towards him. His eyes were devouring Mal instead, not content with just Simon, never content with just Simon or Mal singly anymore, spoilt by the vision of both of them so now all he could see was both.
All he wanted was both.
Simon’s head tilted down, his hands caressing Mal’s hair, leading him on as the captain worked his mouth around his cock. Not needing any instruction, Mal growing bolder in moves and motions as time had gone on. From uncertain and trying, to enthused and inventive. Their passion sorely tested Wash’s staying power, as well as his attempts to muffle his own noises, when Simon eased Mal away, before pulling him up to share a deep kiss.
Now Wash could see Mal’s face, there was no doubt the man was as hard and close to release as Simon when the doctor took both of their cocks in hand and thrust up against Mal eliciting a choked groan.
I wish I’d never started this.
The thought wasn’t new, but sobering enough to have Wash working to push it away, fixing his eyes on the men and trying to recall the arousal which had now faded. Leaving him hard and wanting, but not knowing how to find release. Watching the tentative touches and kisses, the way Mal moved behind Simon and spooned up against him.
Guilt and frustration gnawing at him, Wash crept away--aware of how his lust had so quickly turned to something more and how that was now deepening to obsession.
The last time
His birthday would be the last time, Wash vowed to himself. No longer able to ignore and just smile through Mal and Simon’s antics, now becoming all the more annoyed at the subtle glances between the couple, the fake banter which always led to sex of some kind or the other. The romance and intimacy that were becoming too blatant to miss. They are obviously well on the way to falling for each other. At least that was something he could admit to understanding, since he’d found himself feeling that same way for both men. Wanting to rip them both apart and hold each one jealously to him, as his own, and yet wanting to push them together and watch, even join.
Crawling, knowing he looked ludicrous in doing so, up the small space towards the grill. Curiosity driving him faster at first as he heard Mal gasping, only the realization that this was the last time sobering his arousal. The captain had been a fetching shade of pink at dinner, fidgeting too, which was unlike him, and every time Simon had turned eyes in his direction Wash could have sworn he saw raw need flick across Mal’s face. The captain hid it well enough, but when a person observed for as long as Wash had, he started picking up on the little things. The hidden things and subtleties.
Tzao gao! If that doesn’t beat it all.
He wasn’t sure how he managed to bite the words back, eyes widening, fingers clutching at the grill as he stared at the men. Mal was astride Simon, a position new enough to have Wash wondering if perhaps this time, the last time, he’d get to see Simon take Mal, slide inside the captain as they‘d been working up to doing.
But it was what Simon was doing to draw out those groans that had Wash spellbound. No wonder he kept wriggling at dinner, ma de wish I’d known…
Simon’s fingers traced up and down the cleft of Mal’s buttocks, before slipping between to grip the shiny base that protruded slightly, manipulating and drawing the plug out smoothly before pushing it back inside Mal. Taking his time and teasing Mal, nudging the plug against his prostate and making the captain jerk ever so slightly, a moan on his lips, before he managed to hold himself still. A moan that Wash echoed and just about managed to swallow as his own fingers stroked at his cock and cupped at his balls, his eyes fixed on the two men.
Sweat-shined, with knees either side of his lover’s hips and legs trembling slightly as his hand gripped Simon’s shoulders, the captain had to balance awkwardly with his wrist pressed to his mouth hiding his groans. The doctor was murmuring to Mal, low and sweet as his fingers worked, his free hand gently stroking over his own cock to lube it, making Wash dry-mouthed in anticipation, the thought of touching himself lost in the moment.
Heat flushing through him, sweat beading on his brow and lip, Wash ignored the cramping in his legs, his eyes glued to Mal as the captain pushed back against the plug, making him moan though he attempted to muffle it.
“Shun-sheng duh gao-wahn.” Wash breathed the words out, not noticing they’d passed his lips as Simon pulled the plug gently out and lined himself up, sliding up inside Mal at the same moment the captain slid downwards onto him.
Mal was panting, fingers now clutching at Simon’s shoulders as the doctor ran a hand up his side and curled it around his back urging him to lean forward, to claim his lips in a deep kiss that made Wash’s cock throb as his eyes prickled in irritation.
Last time.
The thought sobered him, waned the arousal inside him, had his fingers reaching to coax his cock back to full hardness as Simon thrust gently into Mal, never once breaking the kiss in their slow rhythm. Except this time it wouldn’t happen, as Simon shuddered and Mal let out a strangled cry of pleasure, Wash found himself all the more flaccid and unaroused. All the more jealous and wanting, itching to be the one held in Mal’s arms, or the one holding Simon. Craving the idea of being with both. His vision a little blurry, it took Wash a moment to realize Simon was staring directly at the grill, at him.
“Is it everything you hoped for?”
He shrunk back against the wall, panic flooding him. Did Simon say that or did Wash just think it? He wasn’t sure anymore, fingers trembling at the thought, moving himself cautiously towards the grill once more. Even if he knew there was no way Simon could see him.
Simon was still staring, held against Mal who started to follow his gaze. And then Wash was really panicked, feeling anxiety rush through him as he pushed himself back suddenly, ridiculously afraid they could see him through the minute gap. Slamming his head back against the small passageway, Wash tasted blood, feeling dizziness overcome him for a moment as he slumped against the metal grid.
He wasn’t sure how long he remained like that, head pounding with a ringing in his ears that didn’t want to abate. When the headiness passed and the ache tempered, Wash let his gaze sweep back in to find the storage room empty and only a hurriedly gathered pile of sheets to show what had happened there.
Quietly crawling back out, Wash rested against the side of the corridor, his hand pressed to his head, finding a hefty lump but no blood upon inspection. “Not bad enough to go to the infirmary, can’t say I want to face Simon anyway. Mind you, Mal might be in the cockpit…not sure which one’s worse.” Murmuring to himself, Wash ignored the pain, focusing instead on the embarrassment that shot through him.
“Cao!” He spat the word out, eyes closing even as his feet made the choice for him. Choosing to wait out until the next day and hope not to wake with a gun in his face.
Except things didn’t go the way he planned. The relief Wash felt at encountering no one on his short trip back lured him into a false sense of security, which lasted until he kicked open his own bunk, stepping down it enough to pull the hatch securely closed and lock it before lightly dropping down the ladder to get what he figured would probably be disturbed sleep.
That changed the moment he reached the last step, his eyes not needing to adjust to darkness since the images were clear and looking back at him. His mind freezing, caught in a cacophony of curses which both berated him and raged against it all, his body still moving and making him stumble just enough to snap Wash out of his reverie.
Both of them were there. Looking surreal enough for standing in Wash’s bunk, but all the more so for the smiles that curved both their lips, Mal’s sheepish more than anything but disturbing enough given everything Wash had seen. Survival instinct or perhaps just knowing the both of them better than he once had, Wash’s eyes automatically, uneasily, flicked to Mal’s empty gun belt.
“Ain’t nothing there. Can’t say there’s anythin’ that kills passion more than a bullet to the thigh. Easier to leave them off at times.”
Mal spoke the words, drew Wash’s attention to him, but it was Simon who moved closer. Almost on top of him and touching Wash’s head, making him wince as the other man probed the bump. Simon’s touch was light, and despite the pain, Wash didn’t draw back
“Mal, sit down.“ Simon’s gaze didn’t turn to the other man, not needing to look and confirm that Mal would do as he was asked. “I should look at that for you.” Almost musing, like his attention was diverted but he wanted to appease the doctor within him, Simon fixed an intense gaze on Wash making him fidget slightly.
“No, thanks, it’s fine, honestly. I’m good.” This was more than strange, it was bizarre, especially now Mal had taken to sitting on the edge of his bed, being a distraction in himself by kicking off his boots and laying back with a contented sigh. Though Wash couldn’t help noticing he’d sat down gingerly, which brought back even more distracting images.
“Somehow I doubt that.” Simon was still smiling, making Wash want to demand, to ask, even though he was worried about the answer. And suddenly he was tired, too tired to be playing games anymore, and even more oddly Simon must have seen it, must have seen something in his face because he was stepping even closer, pressing his lips to Wash’s in a firm kiss.
It caught Wash off guard, made him stumble back slightly, breaking the kiss to his disappointment. The barest hint of Simon on his lips as he licked them wasn’t enough and he couldn’t stop himself leaning forward, albeit hesitantly, having his kiss met halfway. He’d dreamed of this, fantasized on it and wanted it and yet it wasn’t enough. Lips parting, Simon’s tongue slipping skillfully into his mouth to tease at his own, Wash bit back a groan as equally skilled hands ran up and down his sides, touching, stroking and very lightly pinching, enough to make him squirm. Make him as hard as he had been earlier, except this time the release he craved wasn’t through dreaming but through reality.
And still it wasn’t enough.
“Mal.” Simon broke the kiss, his hands still leisurely moving over Wash, his gaze never wavering from the man’s face as he called the captain over. Ignoring the muttered noises and feigned sigh as Mal dragged himself up, the eagerness in his step barely hidden as he moved behind Wash, tongue darting out to lightly trace up Wash’s neck.
“Mal likes to be watched as do I, and we both enjoyed playing to a captivated audience.”
Simon was staring at him, slight smile back on his lips. A shiver ran through Wash, both arousal and anticipation, hands clutching behind him at Mal as the captain nipped lightly at his ear, his eyes fixed desperately to Simon’s, speechless and lost for thoughts as Simon spoke words that had him glad to have had all those times watching.
“There’s been three in this relationship for a while now, Wash. You just didn't know it.”
Author/Artist: Ann
Fandom: Firefly
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Joss owns, but it’s fun to play…
Summary: It was over too fast and quick for Wash’s liking, the best part of their meeting missed, leaving him crouched low behind the grille, suddenly realizing how constricting his normally-loose flight suit was as his half hard cock pressed against the buttons
Written for the talkcrazy Simon Tam kinkathon, for thunder_nari, who wanted Simon/Wash/Mal with subby virgin Mal and voyeurism (or darker). Translations are in mouseover.
Thanks to lvs2read and woodsong_1978, for both betaing for me and putting up with my comments and angsts. *hugs*
The first time
The first time Wash happened upon them, it had been purely coincidental. Just a sudden stroke of luck, a temptation from out of the blue. He’d caught the faintest of sounds on the edge of his hearing, unfamiliar enough to make him curious, his fingers paused in untangling the burnt-out wiring Kaylee had cajoled him into helping repair. It was lucky that it wasn’t Kaylee who caught the sounds, wasn’t Kaylee that half-crawled, half-pulled herself through the small service duct to catch the louder echoed noise; that instead she’d chosen to work from the top of the ship down, while Wash took the bottom.
It wouldn’t have been good for her to set eyes upon what Wash had; still mooning after the doctor, even if her eyes were slowly beginning to fall upon the person she rightly deserved, the person whose eyes never wandered from her. He probably should have moved away there and then, just kept himself to himself instead of hovering at the stippled grille. But he found himself unable to tear his eyes away.
Since when is Mal crushing on Simon?
It had been obvious right from the start Simon was more than just hero worshipping Mal, at least to Wash’s eyes, though he’d not thought Mal had seen it. Or that Mal had but had written it off as something a good rut with another wouldn’t cure, just as Wash had. Especially when he’d never seen the captain cross that line, always sticking to his vow not to mess around with his crew. Something that had once given Wash reassurance that he’d have little in the way of problems when he made a play for Zoe, save the odd weapon pulled on him and death threats, but now seemed not all that true.
More than not just true, to Wash’s eyes anyhow. Wash strained forward as much as he could, trying not shuffle, his eyes on the two men. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, try as he might, but their postures left little to the imagination and had him wondering just which one of them had been making all the noises. Both Mal and Simon’s clothes were mussed enough to have been hastily pulled on, both men sporting smiles of a kind which was unfamiliar enough, but not unsettling.
Nice to see Mal looking less like he wants to hurt something and more like he’s…happy, I guess. And Simon…can’t say I’ve ever seen him smile like that, seems too worried and serious all the time. He should do it more often, makes him look younger. I can almost see why Zoe gets so het up over Mal at times too, the man does have a great smile. Just as well it doesn’t come out too often, especially when all he‘s looking at is Simon.
It almost felt like he’d interrupted a private moment, even if they were unaware that he was there, like he was intruding. Wash moved to shuffle backwards, to go back to helping Kaylee with the rewiring, to mulling over just what kept him so bound to Serenity when he’d had waves of job offers only a dai zi would have turned down. Things had never really taken off with Zoe, even if he had wooed her around into grudgingly respecting and then liking him. Though he held himself a good part to blame for that, what kind of person would want a man whose eyes kept drifting to another person?
Especially when said person was a good friend of hers and their captain. Captain… A description that had held Wash back from actually ever making a move, from making more than flirtatious remarks and joking comments. Hadn’t held Simon back though, hadn’t held Mal back either from the looks of it. He felt something stir in his chest at that. Jealousy maybe? Wash wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t moving away either, was keeping his eyes on the couple as Simon pulled Mal forward, capturing his lips in a kiss.
Ai ya, he almost breathed out the words, the quick kiss he’d been expecting becoming something different, something he didn’t want to look away from.
Simon’s hand was fisted in Mal’s shirt, pulling him closer, his other hand resting lightly on buttocks that Wash could never help but sneak more than one peek at. The doctor claimed Mal’s mouth, making him close to groaning as he deepened the kiss and kneaded the taut buttock beneath his hand. Wash wet his own lips at the rush of heat that raced through him, watching Simon nip lightly at Mal’s lips, teasing him into the kiss before suddenly breaking it off, and making the captain murmur disgruntled words that had Simon chuckling as they walked out of the room together.
It was over too fast and quick for Wash’s liking, the best part of their meeting missed, leaving him crouched low behind the grille, suddenly realizing how constricting his normally-loose flight suit was as his half hard cock pressed against the buttons. His mind was on what he’d seen, not what he’d agreed to do as he crawled back along the duct, his cock throbbing at every motion, and sent a garbled message to a very confused Kaylee, before heading back to his bunk.
To let his imagination fill in where he’d missed.
The next time
What did I expect? Them to be fawning over each other making goo goo eyes?
Normal. Everything was normal, or near enough. Mal and Simon were no closer in public than they ever appeared to be, not that Wash had expected them to be, especially with Kaylee still very much in the dark about their relationship. With the crew clueless in fact, only Wash knowing just what had changed and yet, despite seeing with his own eyes, finding it a struggle to believe and to remember the passion with which the two men had kissed. He wouldn’t have figured Mal as being one to keep it a secret, especially not with Kaylee all over the doctor and Jayne still ribbing him every few minutes.
Would be none-the-wiser if they hadn’t chosen that time to be all over each other.
Wash was well aware he kept staring, kept catching their eyes inadvertently when they turned, somehow feeling his gaze upon them. He’d found himself lingering at the infirmary, gaining a somewhat subtle questioning from Simon, who obviously thought he had some kind of personal ailment, and odd looks from Mal when he wandered down from the cockpit more often than usual. He was jumpy and ill at ease, just waiting for accusations. Waiting to be found out.
But he wasn‘t.
And it was only a few days after Wash started to relax, started to settle into the notion that he wouldn’t be found out, that he noticed. Spent so long staring and watching, waiting and on edge, that it wasn’t hard to suddenly see the subtle looks between the two men. The feigning as they bantered over money and jobs, the way Simon casually mentioned Mal spending some time going over the list of medical supplies they needed, and the disgruntled look on Mal‘s face that didn’t quite cover the glee in his eyes, more than just lust--something else.
Wash should have just stayed in his bunk. He shouldn’t have waited until everyone was asleep and slipped out of his own bunk. It was the same small storage room again, not Simon’s bunk or the crew quarters.
Tamade, I really shouldn’t be doing this…again.
It was just a happy coincidence that his good fortune had had the opportunity to repeat itself. A gamble that had paid off from watching and listening to Simon and Mal, rather than drag himself back to the loneliness of his own bunk.
He didn’t go too close this time, didn’t press himself against the grille just in case. Instead Wash listened, thankful that they were being more vocal this time, less stifled. He couldn’t see them, could only imagine what was happening as he listened to Simon. The man’s voice was firm but surprisingly different to the doctor-tone he used, though his words were interrupted by harsh breaths and low groans as he led Mal, telling him where to bite and suck, where to kiss. The captain hadn’t played games before, not like Simon looked to, his words of reassurance--“We’ll go slowly Mal, since you’re not used to this.”-- giving Wash an idea that was only half right.
And I’ve just stepped into a world of weird where Simon’s the one in charge.
Wash couldn’t help listening, more intently at first, hearing the noises he expected, Mal’s garbled replies and Simon’s gasps. But taken aback by it being Simon who was taking more of the lead, calling the shots and seeming more in the know. Simon telling Mal to touch himself, but making it clear the captain’s not to take all his pleasure, that he won’t be touched or stroked or licked by Simon yet, but instead to merely palm his own cock as he pleasures the doctor.
Mal only says he leans towards women…
That made him wonder, made Wash draw a little closer, needing to see with his own eyes but shying back at the last minute. He didn’t dare go closer, not yet, not this time. And by that he’d already confirmed he wanted a next time, wanted to be looking as well as hearing. But despite reckoning on that, for that moment Wash couldn’t shake the worry, could only appease himself enough by compromising and listening only.
Listening and touching himself as he closed his eyes, imagination filling in the blanks. Fingers slipping into his opened fly, Wash bit back a moan as he palmed his hard cock, seeing himself cuffing Mal’s hands behind him, stopping him from touching rather than allowing, as Simon told the captain to kneel. The doctor’s voice was loud enough to encroach into his fantasies, except in his fantasy Wash was right there with Mal; knelt alongside him and pulling Mal into a deep kiss before they both turned their attention to Simon’s crotch, to his demanding cock, which curved upward, poking out from between his opened pants.
He’d never thought much on games like this until now, just thought of sex as sex and taken it where he chose. It should have been seedy, should be wrong to be listening and touching himself, biting his lip as Simon gasped his release and Wash joined him, warmth spilling over his hand. But instead it made Wash all the more aroused, leisurely stroking his half-hard cock, hearing Mal groan as Simon then pleasured him.
Letting fantasy intermingle with reality, he lounged against the wall, wetting his lips and wanting more.
The worst time
For the first few weeks, Wash had kept himself as occupied as he could, not wanting to think on what he‘d heard and seen, not wanting to listen too close to snatches of conversation he kept overhearing. He was still keeping up his usual jokes and banter, unable to resist flirting with Zoe even if she only smiled good-naturedly and rolled her eyes, making Kaylee laugh and River giggle. Flirting that little bit with Simon and Mal too, not that he thought either of them noticed, they both only had eyes for each other even if the doctor was polite and the captain happy to talk about anything that wasn’t to do with the Alliance.
Now, he played with his fingers, the familiar reassuring feel of plastic missing from his hands when he sat in the galley. The unconscious habit which could be soothing at times was missing, his dinosaurs scattered over his console rather than the constant companion that right at that moment his hand wanted them to be. Especially when jealousy and the faintest tinge of resentment set in, like when he enacted the great hidden romance between the herbivores and carnivores, alone in the cockpit rearranging the toys and occasionally slipping in a sarcastic, “And this is how we don‘t mess with crew.”
The signs were easy to recognize by now, something that should have given him cause to pause and think some more, but was ignored; it was easy to read both Mal and Simon, came almost as naturally as flying, especially with spending so much time with them. Wash wasn’t sure if he was masochistic or simply a glutton for punishment but in the recent weeks he’d spent more time with the captain and Simon--both alone and together--than he had with anyone else on board. Including Zoe.
He’d spent an equal amount of time watching them too, taking his own cock to hand as they enjoyed each other, the dynamic of their relationship surprising him the first time but making him all the more aroused the second. It was Simon who called all the shots in the room, the captain showing a fairly docile side when it came to being with the doctor, a stark contrast to his usual stubborn, decisive and slightly insane nature when outside of it. Simon kept Mal waiting for him occasionally, but never once was the captain late, and never once did he do more than hold himself still, resting against a box rather than letting impatience rule and touching himself. It had taken Wash a while to understand the kiss that Simon gave Mal, the hot, sweet, rewarding kiss, had nothing to do with controlling Mal and everything to do with testing him. Pushing subtly and growing more bold each time as new limits were set.
It had taken Wash a while to push aside his own impatience and annoyance at the slowness of them both, the barest of pleasure seeming to satisfy both as each and every time they got that little bit closer to penetration. Not that touching wasn’t good, that Mal and Simon rubbing and grinding together wasn’t hot or that that nipple play didn’t hit one of Wash’s biggest kinks and have him running his fingers over his own, letting nails scrape the large nubs. But it was a while before he learnt to keep their pace, appreciating each time and trying not to make comment as they finished without completely undressing.
A while to realize Simon was romancing Mal,, The ‘new to this’ taking on a whole new wealth of meaning as Wash watched, unseen, as the two of them explored their relationship. As Mal grew more confident in giving, touching Simon, in giving himself over to the doctor, knowing he wouldn’t regret it when Simon took him to new pleasures, brought forth new desires as the games grew more diverse and Mal was soon offering himself up to be bound, light leather encircling his wrists and keeping him in place as Simon traced his tongue up and down his body, working lightly over his cock. Wash found himself trembling along with Mal as the man’s hands caught in the bindings, unable to hold himself back without them, unable to resist the urges that naturally came. A resistance that slowly grew.
Just as Wash’s boldness grew every time he watched them, growing less careful about hiding his own groans as he touched himself and struggled to slip fingers into his own body in time to Simon’s, which teased and twisted making Mal groan and buck up against him. Slowly but surely, hopefully to Wash’s mind, preparing Mal though each time he was left with that edge of frustration, when they found their release and would just lie together--embracing. His own cock was spent and half hard, yet his body craved something more, something he couldn’t think on or name.
In some ways, Wash was glad just to have spent the moments with them, to watch as they almost played up and teased him with their games. Letting him share in an intimate moment and seducing him into joining it, acting upon it, even if he was still on the outside each time. A feeling that he had no way of knowing would grow all the stronger as he eagerly made his way to hide outside the room, Simon’s, “Come with me, Mal.” echoing in his ears.
Mal really needs to think about widening these crawl ways… And wouldn’t that be a thing to ask the captain? Wash could only imagine the suspicion he would attract if he suggested that.
He kept hoping not to bump into River. It hadn’t happened so far but Wash was in no doubt that Simon’s sister was a strange one, had an uncanny sense about her. It was almost like, sometimes, when she watched them, she could see inside them, see everything personal and tightly held, like she was a voyeur herself--albeit unwilling--into what made each and every one of them tick. And she does go all over Serenity, almost like she‘s part of it. Which brought up some very interesting and inappropriate images which he shouldn’t be thinking with River’s brother about to be so close and so delectably unclothed. He snorted and then tried to swallow back the sound by jamming his mouth into his sleeve. The snort came out as a wheeze, Wash almost choking on his own tongue as he heard the storage door being slid open.
Perched in the tunnel, scooting as close to the grill as he dared (which nowadays was almost with his nose pressed to it) Wash tried to keep his breathing steady, his eyes fixed to the two men. He was touching himself again, sharing in the intimate moment, but it was almost frustrating that it was only as an outlooker could--never a lover, just a watcher.
They were both naked this time, Mal was on his knees on the makeshift mattress in front of Simon, as his fingers lightly traced over the man’s hips. Simon was all smooth, well-muscled limbs, cock jutting out toward Mal and looking more shuai each time Wash saw him. The thought of pushing at Simon, seeing how far he would keep up the leading, keep up the teasing, did appeal. Just as much as the fantasy of pulling the man atop him, getting rutted into the mattress, did.
Just as the fantasy of pounding into the man currently fellating Simon did. Mal wasn’t as lean as Simon, not showing such rigidly defined muscles, but had fine shoulders and buttocks which begged biting. Wash couldn’t see Mal’s face but he wasn’t drawing his eyes away from the rest of him to strain and catch a glimpse as Mal half turned towards him. His eyes were devouring Mal instead, not content with just Simon, never content with just Simon or Mal singly anymore, spoilt by the vision of both of them so now all he could see was both.
All he wanted was both.
Simon’s head tilted down, his hands caressing Mal’s hair, leading him on as the captain worked his mouth around his cock. Not needing any instruction, Mal growing bolder in moves and motions as time had gone on. From uncertain and trying, to enthused and inventive. Their passion sorely tested Wash’s staying power, as well as his attempts to muffle his own noises, when Simon eased Mal away, before pulling him up to share a deep kiss.
Now Wash could see Mal’s face, there was no doubt the man was as hard and close to release as Simon when the doctor took both of their cocks in hand and thrust up against Mal eliciting a choked groan.
I wish I’d never started this.
The thought wasn’t new, but sobering enough to have Wash working to push it away, fixing his eyes on the men and trying to recall the arousal which had now faded. Leaving him hard and wanting, but not knowing how to find release. Watching the tentative touches and kisses, the way Mal moved behind Simon and spooned up against him.
Guilt and frustration gnawing at him, Wash crept away--aware of how his lust had so quickly turned to something more and how that was now deepening to obsession.
The last time
His birthday would be the last time, Wash vowed to himself. No longer able to ignore and just smile through Mal and Simon’s antics, now becoming all the more annoyed at the subtle glances between the couple, the fake banter which always led to sex of some kind or the other. The romance and intimacy that were becoming too blatant to miss. They are obviously well on the way to falling for each other. At least that was something he could admit to understanding, since he’d found himself feeling that same way for both men. Wanting to rip them both apart and hold each one jealously to him, as his own, and yet wanting to push them together and watch, even join.
Crawling, knowing he looked ludicrous in doing so, up the small space towards the grill. Curiosity driving him faster at first as he heard Mal gasping, only the realization that this was the last time sobering his arousal. The captain had been a fetching shade of pink at dinner, fidgeting too, which was unlike him, and every time Simon had turned eyes in his direction Wash could have sworn he saw raw need flick across Mal’s face. The captain hid it well enough, but when a person observed for as long as Wash had, he started picking up on the little things. The hidden things and subtleties.
Tzao gao! If that doesn’t beat it all.
He wasn’t sure how he managed to bite the words back, eyes widening, fingers clutching at the grill as he stared at the men. Mal was astride Simon, a position new enough to have Wash wondering if perhaps this time, the last time, he’d get to see Simon take Mal, slide inside the captain as they‘d been working up to doing.
But it was what Simon was doing to draw out those groans that had Wash spellbound. No wonder he kept wriggling at dinner, ma de wish I’d known…
Simon’s fingers traced up and down the cleft of Mal’s buttocks, before slipping between to grip the shiny base that protruded slightly, manipulating and drawing the plug out smoothly before pushing it back inside Mal. Taking his time and teasing Mal, nudging the plug against his prostate and making the captain jerk ever so slightly, a moan on his lips, before he managed to hold himself still. A moan that Wash echoed and just about managed to swallow as his own fingers stroked at his cock and cupped at his balls, his eyes fixed on the two men.
Sweat-shined, with knees either side of his lover’s hips and legs trembling slightly as his hand gripped Simon’s shoulders, the captain had to balance awkwardly with his wrist pressed to his mouth hiding his groans. The doctor was murmuring to Mal, low and sweet as his fingers worked, his free hand gently stroking over his own cock to lube it, making Wash dry-mouthed in anticipation, the thought of touching himself lost in the moment.
Heat flushing through him, sweat beading on his brow and lip, Wash ignored the cramping in his legs, his eyes glued to Mal as the captain pushed back against the plug, making him moan though he attempted to muffle it.
“Shun-sheng duh gao-wahn.” Wash breathed the words out, not noticing they’d passed his lips as Simon pulled the plug gently out and lined himself up, sliding up inside Mal at the same moment the captain slid downwards onto him.
Mal was panting, fingers now clutching at Simon’s shoulders as the doctor ran a hand up his side and curled it around his back urging him to lean forward, to claim his lips in a deep kiss that made Wash’s cock throb as his eyes prickled in irritation.
Last time.
The thought sobered him, waned the arousal inside him, had his fingers reaching to coax his cock back to full hardness as Simon thrust gently into Mal, never once breaking the kiss in their slow rhythm. Except this time it wouldn’t happen, as Simon shuddered and Mal let out a strangled cry of pleasure, Wash found himself all the more flaccid and unaroused. All the more jealous and wanting, itching to be the one held in Mal’s arms, or the one holding Simon. Craving the idea of being with both. His vision a little blurry, it took Wash a moment to realize Simon was staring directly at the grill, at him.
“Is it everything you hoped for?”
He shrunk back against the wall, panic flooding him. Did Simon say that or did Wash just think it? He wasn’t sure anymore, fingers trembling at the thought, moving himself cautiously towards the grill once more. Even if he knew there was no way Simon could see him.
Simon was still staring, held against Mal who started to follow his gaze. And then Wash was really panicked, feeling anxiety rush through him as he pushed himself back suddenly, ridiculously afraid they could see him through the minute gap. Slamming his head back against the small passageway, Wash tasted blood, feeling dizziness overcome him for a moment as he slumped against the metal grid.
He wasn’t sure how long he remained like that, head pounding with a ringing in his ears that didn’t want to abate. When the headiness passed and the ache tempered, Wash let his gaze sweep back in to find the storage room empty and only a hurriedly gathered pile of sheets to show what had happened there.
Quietly crawling back out, Wash rested against the side of the corridor, his hand pressed to his head, finding a hefty lump but no blood upon inspection. “Not bad enough to go to the infirmary, can’t say I want to face Simon anyway. Mind you, Mal might be in the cockpit…not sure which one’s worse.” Murmuring to himself, Wash ignored the pain, focusing instead on the embarrassment that shot through him.
“Cao!” He spat the word out, eyes closing even as his feet made the choice for him. Choosing to wait out until the next day and hope not to wake with a gun in his face.
Except things didn’t go the way he planned. The relief Wash felt at encountering no one on his short trip back lured him into a false sense of security, which lasted until he kicked open his own bunk, stepping down it enough to pull the hatch securely closed and lock it before lightly dropping down the ladder to get what he figured would probably be disturbed sleep.
That changed the moment he reached the last step, his eyes not needing to adjust to darkness since the images were clear and looking back at him. His mind freezing, caught in a cacophony of curses which both berated him and raged against it all, his body still moving and making him stumble just enough to snap Wash out of his reverie.
Both of them were there. Looking surreal enough for standing in Wash’s bunk, but all the more so for the smiles that curved both their lips, Mal’s sheepish more than anything but disturbing enough given everything Wash had seen. Survival instinct or perhaps just knowing the both of them better than he once had, Wash’s eyes automatically, uneasily, flicked to Mal’s empty gun belt.
“Ain’t nothing there. Can’t say there’s anythin’ that kills passion more than a bullet to the thigh. Easier to leave them off at times.”
Mal spoke the words, drew Wash’s attention to him, but it was Simon who moved closer. Almost on top of him and touching Wash’s head, making him wince as the other man probed the bump. Simon’s touch was light, and despite the pain, Wash didn’t draw back
“Mal, sit down.“ Simon’s gaze didn’t turn to the other man, not needing to look and confirm that Mal would do as he was asked. “I should look at that for you.” Almost musing, like his attention was diverted but he wanted to appease the doctor within him, Simon fixed an intense gaze on Wash making him fidget slightly.
“No, thanks, it’s fine, honestly. I’m good.” This was more than strange, it was bizarre, especially now Mal had taken to sitting on the edge of his bed, being a distraction in himself by kicking off his boots and laying back with a contented sigh. Though Wash couldn’t help noticing he’d sat down gingerly, which brought back even more distracting images.
“Somehow I doubt that.” Simon was still smiling, making Wash want to demand, to ask, even though he was worried about the answer. And suddenly he was tired, too tired to be playing games anymore, and even more oddly Simon must have seen it, must have seen something in his face because he was stepping even closer, pressing his lips to Wash’s in a firm kiss.
It caught Wash off guard, made him stumble back slightly, breaking the kiss to his disappointment. The barest hint of Simon on his lips as he licked them wasn’t enough and he couldn’t stop himself leaning forward, albeit hesitantly, having his kiss met halfway. He’d dreamed of this, fantasized on it and wanted it and yet it wasn’t enough. Lips parting, Simon’s tongue slipping skillfully into his mouth to tease at his own, Wash bit back a groan as equally skilled hands ran up and down his sides, touching, stroking and very lightly pinching, enough to make him squirm. Make him as hard as he had been earlier, except this time the release he craved wasn’t through dreaming but through reality.
And still it wasn’t enough.
“Mal.” Simon broke the kiss, his hands still leisurely moving over Wash, his gaze never wavering from the man’s face as he called the captain over. Ignoring the muttered noises and feigned sigh as Mal dragged himself up, the eagerness in his step barely hidden as he moved behind Wash, tongue darting out to lightly trace up Wash’s neck.
“Mal likes to be watched as do I, and we both enjoyed playing to a captivated audience.”
Simon was staring at him, slight smile back on his lips. A shiver ran through Wash, both arousal and anticipation, hands clutching behind him at Mal as the captain nipped lightly at his ear, his eyes fixed desperately to Simon’s, speechless and lost for thoughts as Simon spoke words that had him glad to have had all those times watching.
“There’s been three in this relationship for a while now, Wash. You just didn't know it.”