Holy Inquisition v.2.0

[ddstory]

L'Aquila quake: Italy scientists guilty of manslaughter
The prosecution argued that the scientists were "just too reassuring"

Jailing scientists for not giving sufficient warning of the 2009 L'Aquila earthquake is a spectacularly stupid idea

I agree with the Telegraph blog piece. This verdict is absolutely appalling in its stupidity. Obviously it'll

Comments

[mahnmut]

ROME, ITALY. Italian citizenry has rejoiced and covered the streets with confetti at the news that seven evil wizards have been convicted of deliberately inciting natural cataclysms and causing a deadly underground demonic assault on the people, with fatal consequences, for the purpose of showing off with their formidable magical skills.



3 years ago, a powerful shake of earthly plates amounting at 6.3 by the scale of Saruman the White, resulted from a series of magical incantations, pronounced by the evil wizards for no reason and purpose. The result was heavy damages on the residential and industrial infrastructure of the Godliest Country(tm), as well as losses in manpower amounting at the number of 308.

"And we used to have such great respect for these wizards!", wails an interviewee survivor. "We thought they'd use their magic to protect us from demons... and now we realize we've been misled in our trust. And we're suffering from our own ignorance!"

During their futile defense in court, the wizards claimed that the shake-down hadn't been caused by them; they had merely failed to notice the attack from the Evil Powers of the Otherworld in time, so they couldn't concoct a more powerful counter-spell. Or some other such occult thingy. But actually everyone in court was so convinced of their guilt that nobody really paid them any attention.

At the end of the day, justice was duly dispensed upon the evil wizards, and judge Injusticio convicted them of practicing illegal black magic and assaulting thousands of helpless folks who weren't familiar with the art of counter-magic and the spells for appeasing Mother Earth.

"We don't even know how the Hell did they get so much mana to cast such a powerful spell", the judge elaborated after pronouncing the sentence. "This wasn't just an attack of the Earth-2 grade, it must've been Earth-3 even!"

While the trial was going on, the authorities commissioned those same construction firms that had built the bulk of the rickety residential buildings across the region (the ones that fell down life wafers during the shake-down), to construct a special jail from anti-magic bricks, with strange mystical runes and counter-spells sprayed all over them like graffiti, in order to keep those criminal wizards at bay for the duration of their 6-year sentence. A special squadron of specially trained monks will keep a vigil day and night outside the jail, chanting pious hymns, in order to prevent any further attempts of misuse of magic, aimed at jail-break.

The whole incident has prompted a number of countries to review their own policies and practices of using wizards for protection against underground demons.

"At this point", a high-ranking Italian official said, "detaining all available wizards and subjecting them to special interrogation methods until they confess of their secret union with the Lord of Darkness, is obviously the most sensible approach to this situation".

The world is holding its breath, awaiting the next moves of legislative and judicial authorities across the globe.

[ddstory]

Must admit your version is way better. Would be great for a horror fantasy series.

[htpcl]

> While the trial was going on, the authorities commissioned those same construction firms that had built the bulk of the rickety residential buildings across the region (the ones that fell down life wafers during the shake-down), to construct a special jail from anti-magic bricks, with strange mystical runes and counter-spells sprayed all over them like graffiti, in order to keep those criminal wizards at bay for the duration of their 6-year sentence. A special squadron of specially trained monks will keep a vigil day and night outside the jail, chanting pious hymns, in order to prevent any further attempts of misuse of magic, aimed at jail-break.

This is full of win on so many levels.

[underlankers]

Gandalf actually looks pretty badass in that picture. ;)

[mahnmut]

That's because pot is legalized in Middle Earth, yo! Best pot grows in the Shire!

[yes_justice]

So, they are all baked? No wonder those lazy fat hobbits lack desire for adventure!

[underlankers]

Pot would certainly make the pipeweed scenes quite a bit more hilarious....and it might actually explain the 'odd' smoke rings. ;)

[sophia_sadek]

It also came out during the trial that some of these wizards espouse the heresy that the Earth is not the center of the universe.