It's late and this lacks coherance.
I’m back and leaping in with both feet with some sad news, which deviates into a writing lecture.
A few days ago I got a phone call from a friend from Melbourne who was just calling to catch up and see how my move had gone. We used to be in a drama troupe together, and at the time the group was very tight knit.
So it was during this phone call I learnt that I’d lost another friend to suicide.
The young man was extremely talented. He and his brother attended the troupe together and though I hadn’t spoken to either of them in a while, I expected to see them any day-having landed a part in some TV show or movie. I couldn’t imagine either of them falling short of that goal.
I was sad, upon hearing that news and paused to remember all the hilarious moments we shared together in rehearsals and performances. To be honest it slipped from my mind then, though I have been unusually tired ever since. However since getting my computer up and running again I have been trying to catch up on the TV I’ve missed.
Episode 20, season 5 of House deals with suicide. I was fine throughout the episode, until the last thirty seconds. The last shot of Dr Taub in the hallway broke me completely as some part of me accepted that he was dead. Not the character, but the young man I knew who was on his way to being a brilliant actor.
When you suffer some kind of trauma-particularly a death-it can be hard to feel. Sometimes you don’t hurt at all, at first. Sometimes you keep it bottled for years and suddenly there is a trigger, you find that hurt and it all comes out again. It took me two years to mourn for a simular lost friend; I didn’t even know the pain was there until I found a funny note he’d written me.
I think this is a function of fiction and entertainment media that is often overlooked. We live vicariously through characters to make our own lives more interesting, but we can also mourn through them. We can experience loss vicariously to dull the sting of reality.
When you choose to write about death or suffering; suicide, rape, divorce or illness, you should write with the understanding that others will be facing their own demons when they read it. They’ve experience the things you may only be writing about and you should be careful about how you choose to manipulate that.
I’m not saying every painful scene should be a hallmark moment, but you shouldn’t handle things carelessly. If you want to hurt, horrify, disgust or succour your readers, do it intentionally. And do it with some restraint.
My cheeks are still wet. He was only eighteen.