Green eyed monster
I’m a little sad today.
Those of you who post writing excerpts on my journal know I’m generally enthusiastic about giving feedback and those of you who ask me questions know I try hard to give your helpful advice. I love doing both. And I love seeing the people around me progress with word counts and goals. It’s awesome to be a part of a friendly, active online community of people.
However today a friend got very mad at me.
I’ve known her for a very long time. I’m reasonably sure we met between 2001 and 2003, though it would be hard to tie me down on a specific date. We shared a lot of interested, including writing, and I know for the past three or more years she’s been writing like a demon.
I have, all this time, been excited about helping her with this. I’ve been waiting for a second draft to come my way. Or a query letter. Or… a synopsis. I keep offering to take a look and help her get stuff ready to query agents/editors.
I assumed (stupidly, I suppose) that given my excitement, she would tell me if she was querying-I just didn’t think she had anything ready yet, because she hadn’t told me any differently.
She said yesterday she was jealous that I had an agent. And I said no one should be jealous of someone else for that if they haven’t even sent out their queries yet. It was a joke, but apparently she HAS sent out queries and she HAS got rejections and she said a lot of nasty things in response.
‘Arrogant literature snob’ was said more than once.
She also said that I ‘assumed she was lazy’. Which actually really hurt. I’ve been excited about her work since she told me she was writing over 2000 words a day (three years ago). Waiting eagerly to SEE some of it. I’m been her biggest supporter… or, the biggest one I know about, because she’s never told me anything about what’s going on--other than that she’s making progress.
Am I bitch? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I’m jealous of people too, you know. I’m jealous of Andrew Adamson, (the director) because every Christmas the family newsletter is all about how many block buster movies my golden child cousin has made and how he met Prince Charles.
I’m jealous of Ursula Vernon. She rocks. Buy her stuff.
I’m jealous of Tara Moss because she’s a model/writer with two snakes (I have THREE, bitch!) and an action figure collection of female comic book characters, which I would dearly like to have. She also does awesome charity work. And anyone who likes campy thrillers with kickass female protagonists should check out her books.
However I would love advice from these people. Please, please, PLEASE: don’t let jealousy get in the way of letting someone help you. Hostility doesn’t do anyone any favors at all. Criticism probably hurts more from the people you are jealous of, but that doesn’t mean those people are trying to hurt your feelings. Like me with my friend, they probably want you to succeed.
Meh. All this ranting and I’m still sad.