Weddings
I have to admit that this is definitely weird. I just returned home from an engagement party of a very good friend of mine. She dated the guy for, I don’t know, about a month or maybe two, and now they decided to get married.
I know. It might be a little too fast, but among my people (ha. This is sound as if I live on some other, far-away planet *amused*), to date for a month or two counts as a very long time. Usually it takes about seven to ten dates to know that this is it, and these dates take about three weeks, tops. But anyways. I kind of--- well, yeah.
Anyways. So lately, a lot of my friends are either getting engaged or already getting married. And... well. I'm not saying I am not happy for them. I am totally am. But-I'm already 22. And I dated only three times - with three different men, of course. Two out of three were a total disaster. The other one was okay, but. Well. Not for me. I am kind of… special. I guess. *chuckle*
So my ex-roommate got engaged. And a girl I used to study with in college. And a very good friend of mine got married about a month ago. And my little sister got married, too. Also other girls from my college and my year. And me? Little old me just stay in my place and not even date.
God, how did I even get to this subject? I just wanted to talk about the entire marriage thing. *blush* I got distracted.
It's not like I'm very petty and want Prince Charming (capital letters on purpose). I mean, yeah, I DO, but-not like that. Although if you ask my friends they will definitely say that I am hallucinating and daydreaming about the prince on the white horse to come and sweep me off my feet, and that we'll live happily ever after. Yes, I do dream about that, but I kind of sobered up already about that. I know that three dates aren’t a lot to decide upon, but. Yeah, I guess I had my share in bad luck with guys. Sometimes they just. Just. That's it. *smiles*
And I want my prince. When I was younger I had this Dream Guy. He had to be taller than me (not very much to ask, I am 158 centimeters, which means 5'2'', so, yeah), will have blue or green eyes, fair hair, lean, pretty, dark hair, freckles (yes, I was THAT picky *embarrassed*), dimples… the whole shebang. But I guess I kind of grew out of it, in a way. I don’t mean I'd like someone to look like Rumpelstiltskin, but I want him to be decent looking, you know?
Ugh, I just keep SPEWING. ><''
So yeah. I'm happy for my friends. I can't stop smiling when they are near me, or when I hear that they get engaged. I'm a girl, I just squee and squeal and going all "ohmygod I am so happy!!!!!!! When did that happened? What's his name? how does he look like?" and so on, but basically it's more like: "ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod she got engaged! He proposed!!!! Squeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!" and, uh, yeah. Pretty much.
But I can't not feel that stupid, bittersweet gnawing thing in my gut that keep saying, "but what about YOU?" and makes me feel horrible about myself.
It will pass. I hope. Right? *hopeful*