Mar 16, 2004 00:20
I've tried three times to get this goddamned long-ass post up about you. And now I'm done. So I will summarize.
I've done with you. You do nothing bring drama. Yes, you. You who "hates" drama. Bullshit. You thrive on it. You hate not being liked so you need to be the center of attention. You live in your own fantasy world where you're a real grown-up and living on your own. But you haven't experienced real responsibility that you haven't been able to get out of by using your illnesses or past tragedies as a crutch. Yeah, it's sad, and no I don't know what it's like. But after a while people get sick of the pity card. Stop playing the victim and get on with life. At least if I know I make a mistake I own up to it and attempt to fix it.
I can understand why certain people we know mutually are no longer proud to say they know you. And there was a time where I would defend you when they said you were manipulative and bratty and spoiled. But recent times - not just tonight - have given me the inclination to believe them. I bet Aaron was a really decent guy. You were just too experienced for him to give you what you wanted and decided to play the victim again to get sympathy. To convince yourself why you left him. And then you manipulate everyone else to believe you.
There was at one point, a girl who stood for something substantial. A girl who had values and aspirations. Recently I've seen them all deteriorate. For what? For a game. And if you can let all you had go just as you have... then it's really sad, because you never had them to begin with. You're a weak person. Hell, you can't even make a decision by yourself. You need someone else to do it for you. You are perfectly comfortable with letting someone else run your life. For someone who believed the things I thought she did, that's a really sad end. Pitiful, really. But I'm done with pitying you.
I may complain a lot about my financial state... but that's because I don't have an inheritance to fall back on. And I only got bailed out AFTER my protestation and much argument. And it was only temporary. They're saving my ass so I can get a place to live without one of them to cosign. And I still owe them and probably will for a long time. And I fucked up. I got real humble real fast for it, too. I admitted it and moved the fuck on. But in the real world, you don't have inheritance money to fall back on. Gramma doesn't buy you a car just because your step sister has one. And mommy wouldn't let you charge up a storm on her credit card, just so you can drive your grown-up boyfriend to and from work every day. In the real world, people work. People starve. People get angry.
My experience with you has led me to believe you are not ready for the real world. You talk about immature? What about linking people who don't know the parties involved to an argument between two people who don't know one another? it was really uncalled for to draw attention to something so insignificant. Really... you think I'm defensive. And then you call Eric's friends "fucked up." Way to sever ties with his old life. Way to go. What a great girlfriend. Good thing they like him more than they do you. You doing that was just another pathetic cry for attention. Same with you posting the log to the conversation in which we blew up at one another. Really... what purpose does that serve other than "Look at what poor, little me has to deal with!" because, again, you like to victimize yourself. The question I posed you with only required something vague like, "It's being worked on" or "It's taken care of." Nothing more, nothing less. And if Dennis could have gotten in touch with Eric himself, he would have. He never lets me get involved unless he's been unsuccessful himself.
Besides... if you think so poorly of Dennis, as you've talked about him the way you did in our little convo... then get the fuck out. I think he'd agree. YOUR name is not on the lease. YOU pay no bills. Pretending that the apartment is your home is really just sad to watch. You want to have it be your home? PAY SOME FUCKING BILLS AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR STAYING THERE. You're lucky the landlord hasn't raised the rent, as per the contract they signed stating if anyone other than Eric and Dennis live there longer than 10 days, the rent would be raised per person per month. They have every legal right to charge you back rent, too. How would Eric feel if he had to cough up $1200 more before you left? Dennis sure as hell isn't paying for you to be there. He isn't fucking you. He doesn't eat your cooking. And he doesn't hang around in the common areas of the house long enough to enjoy your cleaning jobs. But newsflash... cooking and cleaning is NOT enough to trade off your residency. In the real world, money is what counts, and YOU use the heat. YOU use the gas stove. YOU use hot water. And YOU sleep there every night. Yet you escape with no financial responsibilities. How mature is that, no, really? You want to be a grown-up? Act like one. And I don't mean Domestic Bliss.
my name may not be on the lease either. But I've seen enough shit go down that I can have an opinion. I've kept my mouth shut on a LOT of it because I have no right to say anything. But since we're being mature... and saying hot much we hate one another (really.. hate is such a strong word... I haven't heard anyone say that in this context since my sister was about... 9? Maybe younger. Why not just start kicking your legs and holding your breath now?)...What of the key Eric gave you? You still have yet to tell Dennis outright that it is for the house. He had to guess on his own. Irresponsible and Immature on BOTH your parts. You're lucky he lets things slide with you because he knows he's out in five months. I was going to as well. Keep the peace until I can leave and be done with you.
But I'm done with you now. I'm tired of how I'm always stressed when I'm with you. I'm tired of your drama. I'm tired of your attitudes. I only return to you what I receive. I'm tired of waiting until I moved far away from here for me to say good bye and good riddance. I was counting the days, to be honest.
I want my things back. Leave them on the kitchen table. If my CDs do not play perfectly or as they did when I first lent them to you, I want new ones. Your things will be returned to you this weekend. I want returned to me the following CDs - Little Earthquakes, Under the Pink, Evolve, The Beauty of the Rain, and TWO Starlet's Walk CDs. One is Dennis'.
Bye.