(no subject)
I finally finished my thesis, which was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life, and this is coming from an ex military police man and beat cop who has had some very terrible things happen to him( which if you know me i never talk about, and even tonya, who knows more about me than anyone ever will doesnt really know why i left the police work years ago) months of having almost failure, weeks on end where i slept a few hours with only the help of sleeping pills. the reason why i say all this is that i came to a realization tonight that i have alot fewer friends than i thought, and only a very few people even cared enough about me to ask how i was doing, and i thank them from the bottom of my heart for their concern, since it helped me survive this time. i thought it was very ironic that my ex wife, who by all rights i should hate to the depths of my soul, was the ONLY one who called me after the most stressful presentation of my entire life to ask how i was doing. to the others who didnt care enough to even give a simple call to me when i needed it most, i say go away and dont ever bother me again. some of you who read this i have shared some intimate times with and i have tried to comfort when you needed it, i ask you what happened when i needed your support. i feel like i have alot of one sided relationships where the burden of friendship is on me, and i can no longer accept that. people wonder why i run through relationships like cheap wine, and i say it is because whenever i need the ones that i love, they always seem to let me down. If I call you, it is because i have grown tired of waiting for you to inquire about how i am. when i call a few time s and i dont get a response, then i just move on. it may mean that i have very few friends, but at least i know that the ones i have love and care for me. to the rest, screw off
will
will