(no subject)
A lot to update on. First, I'll recap the whole hospital thing. Basically, I woke up soaked to my knees in blood (again) and was in extreme pain. I went to the ER that night, they ran a bunch of tests and essentially found nothing wrong. So they deemed it a "bad period". I'm kind of annoyed because I'm still in pain. My period is over but my ovaries still hurt (mostly my right one) and I'm still in pain. I don't understand. It's just one more thing I have to worry about.
I've been having a lot of anxiety lately. I'm just worried about my future. I know you can't plan something and expect it to go the right way. But as of lately, I don't really have any plan or idea of what I want, at all. And that's really scary. I'm working towards nothing. There's a lot of other anxiety that goes along with this and here is probably not the right place to be working it out.
I'm incredibly concerned about money. I'm going on a road trip with Whitney, Zack and Alex to NC and SC on Friday for the week because we have spring break. It's supposed to be this really awesome and fun adventure with my friends but I can't stop worrying about it. I've been completely up front with them saying that I don't really have enough money to do anything, but they've all said it's ok, they'll cover me and I can pay them back, etc. I hate, hate HATE owing people money. It's one of my least favorite things ever. My dad said he'd help me out a little but I've had some unforseen expenses (mostly medication from being in the hospital - the hospital itself is going to cost a lot but I don't even want to think about that right now). I'm just really worried. Whitney said today we were all going to get cash for gas, and that each person should put in $70 and we'll split up anything that's left over once we get back but that seems like so much money to me. Mostly because I don't have any. I probably shouldn't be going away but it's too late to get out of it now. And I don't want to let them down. I'm just worried that I'll be so preoccupied with my concern over money that I won't have a good time. I'll talk to my dad more about this. He usually gives good advice.
I feel bad, but I've just been generally unhappy the past few days. It's no one's fault, there's no reason for it specifically. I mean, everything I've mentioned is adding up and getting me down, that makes sense. I don't know. I hate feeling this way, I feel like such a downer as it is and now I feel extra downer-ish.
I have nothing to do right now. That's not true at all, I have stuff to do, homework to do, but I don't want to do homework right now. I don't know what I do want to do either. I need to start packing for this road trip I guess. I've made a list of things I need to bring. But it's a little too early to pack too.
I guess that's my update for now. I don't really have much else to say, especially positive things at the moment. Maybe I'll write more later..
I've been having a lot of anxiety lately. I'm just worried about my future. I know you can't plan something and expect it to go the right way. But as of lately, I don't really have any plan or idea of what I want, at all. And that's really scary. I'm working towards nothing. There's a lot of other anxiety that goes along with this and here is probably not the right place to be working it out.
I'm incredibly concerned about money. I'm going on a road trip with Whitney, Zack and Alex to NC and SC on Friday for the week because we have spring break. It's supposed to be this really awesome and fun adventure with my friends but I can't stop worrying about it. I've been completely up front with them saying that I don't really have enough money to do anything, but they've all said it's ok, they'll cover me and I can pay them back, etc. I hate, hate HATE owing people money. It's one of my least favorite things ever. My dad said he'd help me out a little but I've had some unforseen expenses (mostly medication from being in the hospital - the hospital itself is going to cost a lot but I don't even want to think about that right now). I'm just really worried. Whitney said today we were all going to get cash for gas, and that each person should put in $70 and we'll split up anything that's left over once we get back but that seems like so much money to me. Mostly because I don't have any. I probably shouldn't be going away but it's too late to get out of it now. And I don't want to let them down. I'm just worried that I'll be so preoccupied with my concern over money that I won't have a good time. I'll talk to my dad more about this. He usually gives good advice.
I feel bad, but I've just been generally unhappy the past few days. It's no one's fault, there's no reason for it specifically. I mean, everything I've mentioned is adding up and getting me down, that makes sense. I don't know. I hate feeling this way, I feel like such a downer as it is and now I feel extra downer-ish.
I have nothing to do right now. That's not true at all, I have stuff to do, homework to do, but I don't want to do homework right now. I don't know what I do want to do either. I need to start packing for this road trip I guess. I've made a list of things I need to bring. But it's a little too early to pack too.
I guess that's my update for now. I don't really have much else to say, especially positive things at the moment. Maybe I'll write more later..