(no subject)
Tired, upset and about four thousand percent done with everyone and everything.
look guys I'm sure it's great for you to use me as your fucking emergency shit-splosion go to plan, fuck about, make it better, and then piss off but it's not fun for me. It actually costs me a great deal to do this shit.
And I've actually hit the point where I just *can't* any more, ok? I don't have the fucking resources any more. And I don't think this is just a temporary situation, where I've overjudged and overspent my spoons.
I just. I just don't have the fucking spoons any more. And I won't ever again. and I can't keep pretending I do and I can't keep wasting them - and this is what it is. Wasting. I'm expending time and resources to the point where I can't even function properly in my day to day life and this shit is going to stop. Right now.
So be aware. I'm not everyone's go to guy. If you haven't spoken to me, socialised with me, can't be bothered speaking to me, but think you can just waltz up when you are in crisis.
I can't.
I just can't ok.
I fucking can't.
and I know it's a bastard thing and I'm a cunt for doing it and I hate myself, I fucking hate myself but I just physically cannot do this any more.
look guys I'm sure it's great for you to use me as your fucking emergency shit-splosion go to plan, fuck about, make it better, and then piss off but it's not fun for me. It actually costs me a great deal to do this shit.
And I've actually hit the point where I just *can't* any more, ok? I don't have the fucking resources any more. And I don't think this is just a temporary situation, where I've overjudged and overspent my spoons.
I just. I just don't have the fucking spoons any more. And I won't ever again. and I can't keep pretending I do and I can't keep wasting them - and this is what it is. Wasting. I'm expending time and resources to the point where I can't even function properly in my day to day life and this shit is going to stop. Right now.
So be aware. I'm not everyone's go to guy. If you haven't spoken to me, socialised with me, can't be bothered speaking to me, but think you can just waltz up when you are in crisis.
I can't.
I just can't ok.
I fucking can't.
and I know it's a bastard thing and I'm a cunt for doing it and I hate myself, I fucking hate myself but I just physically cannot do this any more.