Scrooge of Valentine's Day

[talekyn]

Reposting, as is my tradition (although apparently I did not post it last year):

I am the self-proclaimed Scrooge of Valentine's Day, and in that spirit I imagine the following someday happening:

Anthonius Scrooge is hard at work in his office when his nephew enters with a large cardboard heart filled with chocolates.

Nephew: Happy Valentine's Day, Uncle!
Scrooge: Bah! Humbug!
Nephew: Valentine's Day a humbug, Uncle? Surely you don't mean that.
Scrooge: I do mean it. It's a poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 14th of February .. chocolates, hearts, cards, gifts.  I'll say it again: Bah!  Humbug!!
Nephew: Well I don't think it's a humbug at all.  I think it's a day when human caring is at its strongest, and we show our love for our family and friends.
Scrooge: Then keep the day in your own way, and let me keep it in mine.
Nephew: But Uncle, you DON'T keep it at all!
Scrooge: Then let me leave it alone! Good afternoon.
Nephew: Happy Valentine's Day!
Scrooge: Good afternoon!

(This year, again with added almost-romantic-Ron-Weasley-icon!)