(no subject)
I came to find distraction from all the negative things going on in my life and found it in a small group of fans. They stated they'd be there for those who were going through tough times, it sounded like something I needed.
The only problem was, they were not serious in their statement. If one was one of the favored few, then yes, you had their support. It was easy enough to ignore this glaring bit of hypocrisy, at first but later when my world was falling further apart, it began to just plain hurt.
So many things were going wrong and I didn't want to burden anyone else with my troubles, besides there wasn't anything anyone there could help me with. But when I fell into my darkest time and could have really used a friend to talk to, not one was there to catch me but instead tied a large rock to the rope already around my neck, so I sank.
Drowning is an interesting experience, it teaches you to shut down some abilities in favor of others. Ones that will increase your chances for survival. What did I lose for a chance to survive? I lost my ability to care or even be interested in others problems, now existance is easier without the inconvenience of another person's problems. Let them learn their own lessons or die. Survival of fitest, if you can't drag your broken body out of the river, then better not to even try. Submit to the finality awaiting you and leave me alone. Because I DON'T CARE.
The only problem was, they were not serious in their statement. If one was one of the favored few, then yes, you had their support. It was easy enough to ignore this glaring bit of hypocrisy, at first but later when my world was falling further apart, it began to just plain hurt.
So many things were going wrong and I didn't want to burden anyone else with my troubles, besides there wasn't anything anyone there could help me with. But when I fell into my darkest time and could have really used a friend to talk to, not one was there to catch me but instead tied a large rock to the rope already around my neck, so I sank.
Drowning is an interesting experience, it teaches you to shut down some abilities in favor of others. Ones that will increase your chances for survival. What did I lose for a chance to survive? I lost my ability to care or even be interested in others problems, now existance is easier without the inconvenience of another person's problems. Let them learn their own lessons or die. Survival of fitest, if you can't drag your broken body out of the river, then better not to even try. Submit to the finality awaiting you and leave me alone. Because I DON'T CARE.